AIBU?
To be concerned by my daughter getting drunk alone at home?
StrawberryPancake · 11/10/2018 22:09
Hello Mumsnet,
My daughter is 20 and doesn't ever really go on 'nights out' or drink with her friends (she does have friends though).
She has got into a little habit (of maybe once a month) of getting drunk at home.
I've spoken to her about it and asked what is so appealing about it, to keep doing it each month (on her own I mean) and she says well she talks to her friends while she's drinking (but this is via text and not FaceTime for example).
I'm just concerned really and I'm worried it's the start of some kind of addiction.
Thanks
lljkk · 11/10/2018 22:12
Could you have a frank chat about what is her strategy to make sure this doesn't escalate into something super unhealthy. Try to get her to make a plan.
PersonaNonGarter · 11/10/2018 22:13
How much is she drinking?
Lots of people have a couple of glasses of wine and an evening in MN - and get a bit drunk - once a month. That sounds within the range of normal. Unless it is a lot more than that?
StrawberryPancake · 11/10/2018 22:14
It's not a wine or a beer though. It's usually vodka and fruit juice and enough that she admits she has been sick before (obviously usually doesn't get to this point).
NC4Now · 11/10/2018 22:16
I must admit, I can polish off a bottle of wine over the course of an evening. I didn’t do it at 20 though. It’s now I’m home with the kids.
If it’s just once a month, does she socialise the rest of the month.
I guess it’s whether she’s just enjoy it or using it as some kind of crutch?
MrsRhettButler · 11/10/2018 22:17
Normal I think as long as its not excessive.
By excessive I mean very regularly as in weekly.
I've done this at times through different stages in my life and like someone pointed out, loads of us on MN have done this just chatting on a thread. (does Friday night drunk thread still exist? I've been gone for years)
busybarbara · 11/10/2018 22:29
She could have anxiety, depression, or something similar, as alcohol can "help" with these, so be careful if it's happening at unusual times like work nights or during the day. But if it's limited in scope to a Friday or Saturday night, say, I don't see the harm at her age. I don't think drinking alone is any worse than doing it in public per se
NarcolepticOuchMouse · 11/10/2018 22:32
Your DD is only a few years younger than me and I have to say this does sound a little strange, simply because it's not something our generation really does. Alcohol consumption is at a low compared to previous generations and I don't know of anyone around this age that does this. Has she seen or know of someone else doing it? It could be she sees it as a grown up thing to do and so does it to feel a bit established. Could be nothing to worry about but it's the first I've heard of this age doing it.
LittleKitty1985 · 11/10/2018 23:38
Once a month is not an addiction, I wouldn't worry about this at all. I would even argue that it's better to occasionally drink alone just to enjoy the sensation of being drunk, than to regularly drink with friends just to relieve social anxiety (as is v common)
garethsouthgatesmrs · 12/10/2018 01:41
If my mum spoke to me about something I chose to do in my own home as an adult that wasn't a very clear danger to my health ( once a month is not in that category) I would find it interfering and it would damage the trust we shared in our relationship. If it was a far more regular thing then you would just about have a point but even once a week would be pushing it IMO
Ceilingrose · 12/10/2018 09:26
Yes but presumably you wouldn't be living with her.
I would t like it, as I have other teens who may follow her lead.
JustDanceAddict · 12/10/2018 09:31
At her age I would think it was odd, but then I’ve never really drunk on my own bar the v occasional glass of wine after a bad day (maybe once a year!). I do drink when out though and in company at home.
At 20 I was at uni so going out and drinking a lot, but the idea of drinking alone always seems sad to me. It’s not so much the volume of alcohol consumed, but the environment in which it’s being done (obviously we are talking about normal drinking levels here and not alcoholism). I have friends who drink at home on their own but drinking is a social thing to me.
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