To think 10pm is too late to be doing homework?

[williamandlily]

DS gets in at 9pm from his after school activities. After dinner and shower. It hits 10pm and he has to get started on homework. Aibu to think this is far too late and he'll need to quit his clubs?

I think it’s appalling that large pieces of homework are being set for the next day after a child has spent a full day at school.

• missed point entirely -

Definitely cut back on the activities. Homework isn't optional in secondary, and not doing it will disadvantage him. 10pm is definitely too late to be doing homework.

Thank you didn't want to be seen as an evil mother for making him drop out of the squad. But I really think it's the only option at this stage. His school is very strict on things being kept to a high standard

I used to have swim training every night after school so pretty much always started my homework about 9/10pm and I did ok. I'd say it depends on the individual and only you'll know if his school work is suffering. If it isn't I say let him continue with the clubs. You're only young once.

Meh...I used to do the same at that age (gymnastics too!)...get in at 8.15, eat, have a shower and settle down to my HW around 9-9.30.
I got mainly A* in my GCSEs.

I was fine and still got up early at the weekends (ballet on sat and church on sun)

I know teens are meant to need lots of sleep but I had so much energy between 13-20.

If he is keeping on top of work and doing well at school I wouldn’t worry. Teenagers sometimes have a different rhythm

If he is tired, grumpy or struggling to do as well as the teachers expect, then drop something.

The work load will increase. We lost the Sunday family days first. Dd dropped a few of the extras. We let her choose how to mange things within the rules ( get the grades the teachers expect) good practise for when they get older

Well, I agree that 10pm is too late to be starting homework. But I also think 9pm is too late to be eating tea 3 nights a week. And I don't believe that, except in the most career driven of circumstances, homework should give way to extra curricular gymnastics. Nor will school think this is OK.

What is it you're trying to achieve? Do you want him doing his homework at a more sociable hour or are you trying to get validation that it's fine for him not to be doing the homework?

Ah, I see it's the activities you believe need to be cut back. I completely agree

My 14 year is in bed for 9pm on a school night so yes I think it’s far too late.

Get in touch with the school. I say this as a teacher...

If DS is participating in sport at a high level which requires 15+ hours of training (presuming he starts at 4 and finishes at 9) or round about those hours as well as weekend commitments he should be able to be cut a little slack. It is slightly unreasonable to set homework for the following day and after toomany years in teaching I’ve found pupils often have a week or more.

Ah my school we have a mentor programme for those pupils participating in sport like this. Often swimmers and gymnasts that have to put the hours in young as well as football academy players. We have 25 ‘elite’ performers that represent either city county or country in their sport and are mentored by members of the PE department. It is the mentors role to make sure they are coping with work load and sporting commitments and can liase between staff and parents too. It’s also makes sure that youngest don’t take the mickey either and commit to both their sport and study (I work in a very normal comprehensive not a private school!)

Worth a phone call to explain at the very least!

I'd love my 13 year old to be passionate about something like this. I think you should support and encourage it, not make him quit it.

Definitely speak to the school. I wouldn’t make him quit his activities.

They shouldn’t really be setting homework that is due the next day. I would explain that homework can only be completed on set nights and ask teachers to adjust deadlines to match this.

Actually Op l think you need to just get really organised ......

Get him up in time to set aside 30 mins for homework in the morning when he is fresh, (my ds does this daily and he is 11)

Set limits on shower time, mine would happily spend half an hour in the shower, l turn it off after 10 if they have something that has to be done.

I assume you have eaten so have his dinner warming and he can eat straight away....Dinner 9pm - 9.20pm, homework 30 minutes till 9.50, 10 minute shower and bed,
add in 30 minutes or more in the morning and he can keep his clubs.

Tell him if he wants to continue he has to be time efficient, it a good life skill!

How good is he at gymnastics?

He needs to get in and get stuck in when he can.

Home. Dinner while reading. Homework. Quick shower. Bed.

Stop the Sunday family afternoons out every week and maybe do them every other week too.

He can get up early too.

Yes it’s too late.

My Ds is 14 & on three nights a week doesn’t get home until 10pm. One night he has no time as he finishes school at 3.15pm does choir 3.30-4.30, English tutor 5-6 then youth theatre 7.30-9.30 but on the other nights he does his homework before his activities start.

Homework nowadays disgusts me. Doing a club that's a passion of yours like gymnastics is far more valuable than learning that you have to take work home from school and do it barely within 12 hours. Imagine if our bosses pulled this nonsense with us.. oh yeah take two hours work home with you and you better have it done by the morning (!) Totally teaches kids the wrong lesson.

When does his gym start? What time ?

I have to say that Ds moved schools from a school that set 2 hours of homework every night to one where he has several nights to complete any tasks.

Not only is he happier & our family life much more relaxed but his predicted Grade in maths for example has gone from a 5/6 to an 8.

They shouldn’t really be setting homework that is due the next day.
I agree, unless it's completing incomplete work from the lesson.
I would explain that homework can only be completed on set nights and ask teachers to adjust deadlines to match this
Don't do this though. It's highly unreasonable to expect staff to alter their whole homework and lesson planning around one child's extra curricular activities.
E.g. I set homework that forms part of the following lessons or is pre reading for the lesson or will go through it with the class. Homework is set when it fits logically into the learning sequence. It's not some added extra or a random task I've simply thrown their way.

OP If it's a squad my advice might change. How high is the standard? Are we talking regional or national with a view of being on the GB elite teams?
I know of some squads near me who are essentially local and regional squads but seem to place ridiculous demands on kids (e.g. in the studio/gym 3-5 nights a week with half hour breaks between classes etc). They aren't top squads. It feels a bit like coaches are playing dance moms if that makes sense.

Others are really strong and have feeders to national elite teams and they will tend to be more hours overall but seem to focus more on a mix of squad training and personal training.

For elite teams/national teams, schools often can have some support in place and it's worth talking to them (e.g. I've known students get flexi timetables to be out at rugby academy/national training etc as long as they remain on top of work in school. Things can be done in those situations).

I taught a student a couple of years ago who was pursuing a sport to a high level. It took all his time, mornings before school, evenings, holidays. He completed no homework and he was constantly shattered. He didn't even want to do it that much.

DS is a swimmer (high regional, just tipping into national level). It takes hours of every week. He does his homework in lunch breaks where possible- school are keen to accommodate this and have a team of staff who support him. In advance of or just after big competitions he doesn’t do core PE lessons, using the time to catch up or get ahead of homework tasks (and preventing injury).

I do expect him to be organised, the fridge is full of easy snacks to grab and eat while fitting in homework between getting home and going out again.

Could you try sending him with a note to say homework wasn't completed due to him being out the previous evening. Maybe limit him to half an hour's homework on those nights and prioritize the most important things.

I wouldn't make him give it up. There is more to education than schoolwork.

Definitely don't give up the activity. In fact DS's sulerselective actively encourages outside interests. Most gcse homework was set for next day but staff would give leeway for some with activities eg. An extra day. But if you have 3 subjects a night sometimes it is best to solider on through. I am afraid family Sundaya would have to take a back seat for a while.

When he gets to A level the workload does not drop but the deadlines are longer but reflect that the piece to be handed in is longer, requires more research and a higher quality expected. So still a lot to fit in but at least more manageable.

Could he shower after dinner and homework

He has a couple of quick breaks in between but usually not long enough to get some work done You don't need much of a break to get something done. Most of my friends did homework in the 20min train journey home.

I think it depends what his priority is. Certainly seems a shame to enforce him leaving squad. If he has talent and enjoys it. Why does he have to do family days every Sunday. Could that not be a homework and recuperation day? And just a family day say once a month?