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to want my partner to have a least one sunday off?

14 replies

goldenwings · 14/06/2007 10:23

my dp works 5 full days a week and weekends he works from 8am until 12 noon. hes so tired that weekends he just wants to sleep and if we do go out hes in a foul mood.
ive told him that i want him to have at least one sunday off a month so we can do something as a family without hm being moody and without having to rush out because he doesnt get home until lunchtime.
is this unreasonable? to be honest its causing friction.
he is actually meant to work one weekend on and one off.

OP posts:

willywonka · 14/06/2007 10:25

How come he isn't working one weekend on, one off if that's what he's supposed to do?


goldenwings · 14/06/2007 10:32

because his workmate refuses to do weekends and screams age discrimination if the company objects.

OP posts:

willywonka · 14/06/2007 10:37


So because your husband's boss can't deal with one of their other employees, your husband is left to pick up the pieces? That's terrible.

I assume that the other member of staff is on the same contract, or is this one of those horrible informal arrangement situations? Either way, it's not your husband's business and it's absolutely up to the company to sort things out. If they refuse to do so, I'd be inclined to speak to Citizen's Advice or see whether there are any legal MNers who could offer some support.


HonoriaGlossop · 14/06/2007 10:39

or a Union?

This sounds grim for your dh and your time as a family. i do feel for you. Your dh may be able to get advice from a union about this even if he doesn't belong to one.


admylin · 14/06/2007 10:41

I've given up on this constant battle to get dh to take time off work. If he is off, he sleeps or watches rubbish on TV and if I force him or nag him to go out with us he ends up rushing us home when he gets fed up. My sister is the same, she nags and gets her dh to go out for a walk but he still doesn't exactly even pretend to enjoy it so spoils it in the end. Spoilt brats, the lot of em!


goldenwings · 14/06/2007 10:45

thats pretty much it. as you can imagin dp working 7 days a week every week is straining our relationship. ive told him he needs to put his foot down because not only are we not getting reall family time together its also not good for his health. he is a landscape gardener for the council. that involves planting flower beds,strimming trees and mowing the grass in parks and doing road verges and roundabouts. hes out all day doing most work by himself. but he wont talk to his boss because he doesn want to let the company down.

OP posts:

kslatts · 14/06/2007 10:48

I guess it depends on the reason he is working every Sunday, if it because you need the money then I think you are being a bit unreasonable.

I do know what it's like though, dh works shifts and usually get 1 weekend a month off, but recently has been working his rest days so that we can afford spending money for our holiday. When he is on lates like he is this week we hardly see each other.


HonoriaGlossop · 14/06/2007 10:52

golden, if he's working for the council then he will have a contract, he'll be working under all the 'correct' policies and procedures etc etc etc, and he'll have access to a Union.

No council is going to fire him, or even allow him to be put under pressure to do extra hours if he doesn't want to do them.

I think he needs to re-think who are the important people here. So he doesn't want to let the council down, but what about you and his children??????


willywonka · 14/06/2007 10:54

GW, my dh is also a landscape gardener, though is self employed. He used to do 7 day weeks throughout the Summer so I do sympathise, especially on the way it impacts on a relationship. However he does not endeavour to set the weekends aside wherever possible (and certainly Sundays) so that we have some time together.

It's admirable that your dh doesn't want to let his company down but he is letting his family down by not speaking with his employer about the situation. Do you have a holiday planned in the nearish future? Sometimes it's only when people step off the treadmill that they have a chance to catch up with themselves and realise that there's more to life than work. Perhaps at the end of a good break together, dh might be more amenable to approaching his boss?


LucyJones · 14/06/2007 10:55

He doesn't want to let the council down?
How odd. I work for the council and they are really good employers.
he needs to re-evaluate. It is not ok to let your family down either.


goldenwings · 14/06/2007 11:02

it is partly money but im not asking for every sunday just once a month so that we can go out in the car and do things as a family.
he doesnt have to work every weekend but his boss automatically asks him as noone especially his workmate will do it. since cade was born in october dp has had 2 whole weekends off. he worked boxing day, mothers day and every bank holiday.
his boss doesnt seem to care that dp is working a full seven days whereas the others are working 5. and i dont think thats fair.his boss should stand up to the workers and cut my dp some slack.
the work can be pretty tough going especially as dp works on his own now. other workers work in groups but dp has had a promotion so works by himself doing jobs hat should have 2 people doing them.

his boss automatically asks him because he knows dp wont say no.

OP posts:

goldenwings · 14/06/2007 11:14

my last post looked confusing didnt it?

right there should be set weekends so my dp would work a weekend and then a colleague (it should be his older workmate) does the following weekend.

however on the weekends that arent dps his boss automatically asks him as his workmate flatley refuses.

when the leagu football season was on (you know local teams) then a few other colleagues had to help because they also maintain pitches. however dp was doing 2 matches a day saturday and sundays whereas everyone else did one. granted he doesnt do the cricket thats on now but he still has park duty every weekend. and thats what his colleagues dont want to do.

and dps way of thinking is if he doesnt to park checks noone will and something might be unsafe for children which is fair enough. but he is supposed to work 2 weekends a month not 4.

OP posts:

willywonka · 14/06/2007 11:23

Assuming he and his workmate are both employed on a Council contract, rather than by the contractor, then it should stipulate that they may be occasionally expected to work weekends. If the workmate refuses point blank then there are grounds for disciplinary action. However, as I said before, this is for your husband's employer to sort out. I'm sure they'd manage to make alternative arrangements if you dh was unable to work for a couple of months due to a broken leg...


HonoriaGlossop · 14/06/2007 11:50

Yes, I'm afraid it is your Dp at fault here. He needs to learn to say no!

And he needs to prioritise his OWN children. Other children going to parks are not his responsibility; they have their parents to look out for them and keep an eye on whether there's anything they could hurt themselves on - it's not up to your DP!

Blimey. I'd find his attitude MADDENING.

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