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To leave home for the night

20 replies

veryverytiredd · 11/10/2018 18:46

I'm exhausted OH has got back from work I had his dinner ready for him. Now he wants to go for a shower baring in mind he stays in there for ages.
I've come up stairs for a lie down so I said to him just wash your hands sort the kids for a minute DD 4 weeks old and DS2.

He says I'm a selfish "cretin" apparently I'm not allowed to be tired because I don't go to work and he does.

DS has a cold and won't stop screaming so I've been trying to look after them both all day and tidy the house.

Feel very tempted to leave and let him cope for the night Sad

OP posts:
JellyBears · 11/10/2018 18:50

Do it!! He sounds very selfish...needs a taste of his own medicine. Being at home with children all day and cooking and running a house is a job in fact it’s my job and I get paid for it.

SpankTheMonkey · 11/10/2018 18:51

I do empathise OP, but Dont do it

Stay and sort this out

Calling you a selfish cretin, needs addressing - that is BANG out of order.

If you go, it will turn something that (in the grand scheme) is a minor thing - into something MUCH bigger - Unless he is normally an arsehole..IS he normally an arsehole? Or have you both just had bad days, do you think?

Where would you go? Would you relax knowing what you had left behind?

we can all get a bit stressed when kids are ill

SneakyGremlins · 11/10/2018 18:51

Off you go to a local premier Inn for a nice meal and King size bed Flowers

SpankTheMonkey · 11/10/2018 18:52

Sorry but the poster saying DO IT, the kids haven't done anything wrong it is HIM - so to walk out for the night is punishing everyone

I'd stay - rip him a new arsehole and he would be on the sofa

But im hoping to hear if this is regular behaviour from the partner

SpankTheMonkey · 11/10/2018 18:54

Off you go to a local premier Inn for a nice meal and King size bed

Whilst you stress about the kids, and receive a million missed calls and cause way more un-neccesary stress and partner wont even know when you will be back if he is able to go work in the morning

We cant all just walk out of our lives when the going gets tough

Dont get me wrong OP he has been a dick. and I can understand why you have these thoughts

Allthewaves · 11/10/2018 18:55

You both sound tired. Tbh don't think it's unreasonable to have a shower after work, even better chuck ds2 in with him mwhahaha

fc301 · 11/10/2018 18:57

Tell him to go fuck himself!
2 DC, 1 4 wks old, yours is the harder job!!
Cretin unacceptable under any circumstances.

veryverytiredd · 11/10/2018 18:58

He's not even tired though that's the thing he stays up late at night im conked by 6! He doesn't work Fridays either and had Tuesday off.

There's a lovely hotel just 10 mins from my house the thought of having a full nights sleep while he's up doing night feeds is tempting.

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 11/10/2018 18:59

He says I'm a selfish "cretin" apparently I'm not allowed to be tired because I don't go to work and he does.

You had a baby 4 WEEKS ago, have a toddler with a cold and managed to have his dinner ready.

If you can afford it, book a hotel and charge whatever you want to room service (he’s paying) and if you can’t, go to family/friends for the night and let that fucker cope himself.

Does he routinely speak to you in such awful ways?

YeTalkShiteHen · 11/10/2018 19:00

There's a lovely hotel just 10 mins from my house the thought of having a full nights sleep while he's up doing night feeds is tempting.

Do it, do it, do it.

You deserve it!

Enigmam · 11/10/2018 19:02

Stop cooking for him, on second thoughts don't do anything for him. Just look after yourself and the children.

crispysausagerolls · 11/10/2018 19:14

I mean obviously you can’t leave a 4 week old baby. I would make him look after DS - he can sleep on the floor in DS’ room/sofa and let you have the bed to yourself. Arsehole!

LatentPhase · 11/10/2018 19:19

Blimey. Your update paints a different picture. If the 4wk old is bottle fed, then I would go... go to that lovely hotel Flowers

Nightwatch999 · 11/10/2018 19:20

Tell him you will show him exactly how selfish you can be if he does not start pulling his weight with the kids. Unlike his job that finishes at a certain time, your on call 24 hours a day.

I hate selfish men like like this. If you are struggling then go get your head down for a few hours and stuff him. About time he learnt how hard being a SATM is,

Rebecca36 · 11/10/2018 19:20

He does sound selfish, very thoughtless. Would do him good to have to look after house and kids for a period of time on his own, then he'd understand. You need some time to yourself to just relax.

busybarbara · 11/10/2018 19:22

If he's off work tomorrow anyway then I say fill your boots. Unless you have concerns about him around the children in which case no

RavenLG · 11/10/2018 19:23

He doesn't work Fridays
So he will be looking after the children all day tomorrow right? If not, I assume he will now.
Address his behaviour or leave, it's not ok to be spoken to and treated the way he is treating you. It's sad how many women are in relationships like this.

starryeyed19 · 11/10/2018 19:30

You bloody should go. He's the father. He can cope for one night. I can't believe he called you that.

confusedmomm · 11/10/2018 19:30

Oh sorry but he sounds like a twat. This needs addressing. Is he looking after them tomorrow given it's his day off?

SpankTheMonkey · 11/10/2018 19:44

No wonder divorce rates are so high. Why is everyone endorsing running away from this - what is in reality, a minor problem

The adult thing to do is stay, sort it out

I've got to say, it is not a selfish request to want a shower when you come in from work / no immediately take over sole childcare.

I do think you have done admirably well getting doing all you have done op, HOWEVER I think you need to do what the old phrase says 'sleep when the baby sleeps' - instead of rushing round cleaning and cooking - if he only four days a week he should be pulling his weight with household tasks - stop putting pressure on yourself to do it all and tell him he needs to provide the evening meal half the nights

What would posters say if it was a guy who was saying he was going to fuck off for the night, over a minor argument...and leave the partner with the children, inducing anxiety and worry.

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