A few months ago now I moved to a new city. I wanted to change my life basically, after a pretty shite time in a 5 year abusive relationship. I moved with the view of completing another degree to open up new opportunities for myself.
I am suffering quite badly after my relationship with night terrors, flashbacks and overall general low self-worth. I also have recently been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphia Disorder (although, I am dubious I have this). I am therefore not the best person to be around at all! I haven't mentioned these problems to many people - just my two closest friends.
Anyway, in the months before the move my friend who already lives there was really excited for me to move down. She kept saying that we would have an amazing time always spending time together etc. She kept texting me like "2 weeks until we can see each other all the time!". I was excited too and it took some of my nerves away.
The background with friend is that she is unhappily in a LTR. Her DP is a bit of waster (in her words) and drinks a lot. She has been to AA meetings to try and stop herself from drinking as she has formed unhealthy habits. I have been supportive of the extensive conversations we had about this, and I tried not to be judgmental when giving advice. She told me she was 70% going to leave him and it was just a matter of time. I just told her to keep talking as it may help her, and no decision had to be made by talking through feelings with a friend.
Anyway, come the week of the move, she asks me if I would like help moving in. I said that would be lovely and maybe we could get tea together. She said we couldn't have tea as DP wanted her back that night for a "night in". I was fine with that and she spent an hour with me in my new place.
Two days later she texts me asking how I am. I say fine, and does she want to go for some food or a walk, as I had been on my own all day and feeling a bit panicky in a new city. She doesn't reply all day but phones me at 8pm saying that her DP had had a stressful day and they were smoking (weed) tonight. I told her I hoped all was OK and just stayed in.
Two days later she rings me after an argument with her DP crying. He has basically told her that he was jealous of our friendship and that he knew it was childish but he couldnt help it and that when we were together he felt like a spare part. I was quite taken a back and just said that to me it echoes a lot of controlling behaviour I experienced with ex-DP.
Last night (so about a week after that phone call) we met up for some food. All was fine and usually how it was until she asked me whether I was annoyed she hadn't seen me that much. I said "annoyed" was not the correct word and that I was just having trouble settling in and thought we would see each other more but that I wasn't annoyed by this. She gradually got more annoyed and said she was "pissed off" I had called her DP controlling. She then ranted about how seeing someone once a week was "more than enough", and that she is "flaky" and "goes off people". She said she found it weird that I was texting her asking to hang out and why couldn't I just spend time on my own?
I was really taken aback and quite visibly upset. I said I was really sorry and that I didn't mean to invade her personal space but I was just having a really bad time and anxious about the move.
She said that once a week hanging out is plenty. I agree. But with the context, we are best friends, she is aware of my MH problems and she had expressed a want in the past to hang out a lot.
AIBU to be upset or do you find my behaviour overly needy?