to ask how your partners coped with childbirth?

[Blavkbird]

My DP is squeamish. He tries not to make it obvious but on the couple of times he's seen childbirth videos he's gone a bit white.

I want a water birth which would of course offer a bit more privacy but I'm not banking on it with the complications I've had/possible need for induction.

AIBU to be worried about DPs reaction to the whole thing? I don't know if I am worrying unnecessarily but I'm scared he's not going to cope well, and won't be able to support me throughout.

Is this a ridiculous worry?

My ex really really didn’t want to be there. He was disgusted by the whole process. Not Bothered by the blood and noise. Just thought it was women’s business and nothing to do with him
He was also horrified that I was completely naked at the time!!

My husband didn't have to cope with childbirth, he didn't give birth, I did :-).

He was great support though, quite lovely.

DH was OK the first time, although not very proactive at all, more a helpless spectator. The second time he was shouting abuse in a panic because he had to be midwife. Refused to forgive me for putting him through it and used it on the divorce papers five years later.
He had been a bit squeamish but I think sheer panic left no room for that
Hopefully yours will rise above it when the time comes, and like PPs have said, encourage him to stay away from the business end!

Dh was amazing with an emergency c section the first time round, he took care of everything.

Second time round was a vbac and he loved it. He’s a scientist and was beaming when the midwife showed him the placenta.

I never really thought about how he'd cope, he's pretty good with blood and guts so it didn't cross my mind. He was absolutely amazing both times, I couldn't fault him. He was supportive and did things for me that I never thought he would... I'll leave it at that haha.

One of my best friend's though her husband was completely useless, my friend was reassuring him, he had to get his mum, yes HIS mum to come in and support HIM through the birth. He spent more time outside smoking than actually in the room. I'd have been furious!!! They are still married but didn't have anymore children, HE found it too traumatic (it was a normal straightforward birth). I think I'd have sent him home with his mum if I'd have been my friend and got on with it alone.

Apparently I don't know what I put him through

Mine managed to be at sea, submerged, until after the event...so I'll never know.

There is a great classics thread about funniest childbirth bits- some funny partner bits

As long as your partner isnt planning on being naked in the birthing pool with you...

Interesting read. Incidentally I recently had a baby and DH was present. It hasn't even been a month and he's making fun of the deep breaths I was taking, squeezing his hands, facial expressions etc. I find it annoying and have vowed not to have him with me again. Is it a guy thing or is he being a jerk?

Believe me it can be worse the other way. My husband turned into George Clooney from ER and was reading all the notes, taking to the midwives in doctor speak, and generally getting involved in everything which wound me up something chronic

My labour was very fast only 30 minutes and I dont think he really knew what was happening. I screamed at him to get a midwife, then my waters went and he said he felt sick. I was pushing almost instantly, concentrating on that and I heard the midwife say ‘shit are you ok?’ and the other midwife went to help him. He passed out and came round just a few seconds after our son was born.

He was fine after that just held our son while the midwives dealt with me.

Still laugh at him for it.

He was amazing. Kept telling me I could do it when I was saying I can't.

He said he felt like a spare part though when I was holding the bed and pushing and not him but I didn't want to hurt him.

He then cut the cord and held DD while I had my tea and toast.

My DH loved it! Both times he’s been at the action end when the baby comes out and he says it’s the most incredible thing he’s ever seen.

@WhataLovelyPear I'm sorry, what? He used it on the divorce petition?!

And @toontart no, mocking how someone coped during one of the hardest, most gruelling and difficult things they've ever done is not normal! I'm actually quite cross on your behalf.

toontart. No that’s not normal. You’d be perfectly within your rights to tell him to fuck off next time. I’m surprised you’d consider having another with such an immature man though. He should be proud of you. My dp was totally in awe of what I went through.

Gummy yes, he claimed I endangered the life of our unborn child by choosing a home birth - one of several examples of "unreasonable behaviour". I managed to get it removed by pointing out the obstetrician had said she saw no reason why not.
Toontart that's horrible - he sounds immature, that thing where he's hiding his own inadequacies by making fun of you.

DH stayed head-end (which we both wanted), despite the nurses trying to get him down there to see the crowning. He’s been more upset by me being in pain during labour than grossed out.

First birth very medicalised, forceps huge amount of people in room . He was great but felt very out of it.
Second birth was just beautiful just us and midwife he asked to see her coming out. I pulled her out he cut the cord and he just kept saying how amazing it was and how much he enjoyed it.
Overall he was great not overbearing and kept thanking every medical professional which I loved but had to leave when they were putting cannula in completely needle phobic.

Dh was fairly traumatised by ds1's long, drawn out and medicalised birth - far more than me in fact. It was still a great help to me to have him there.

My husband handled it very well, he did watch a lot of birth videos, but he's really squeamish about blood and needles. I had lots of needles in me, 4 at one point. He was great with it all.

DD1- total dick. Offered me a sandwich as she was crowning

DD2- he was epic. Got involved as we were with only one MW & a student.

He saw them both come out and cut the cord both times. He wasn't impressed when me and a MW went through the placenta with DD2 tho

Well mine was on his phone while I was pushing DS out, presumably telling people he was half way out my vagina! Until the midwife gave him a telling off. Then he had a right good nosey at the placenta after words asking questions etc. Weird. Oh and he gave me into trouble for apparently being rude when I held my had up to the midwife through a contraction because I could speak or listen to her (I was by that time 9cms but they still hadn't checked me because they obviously thought I was, I don't know, pretending that the baby was coming). Apart from that he was great and very supportive and caring 😂.

He will probably cope a lot better than you think. I wouldn't worry yourself about it.

My husband is pretty squeamish but he really stepped up when I was in labour! I was so impressed with him, he was a great support. He fanned me constantly through the pushing stage and said he was blown away by the whole thing. He surprised me and even asked if he could look down there when the midwife said she could see the head. He says it was amazing to see. He really did surprise me

I had quite a traumatic birth- epidural, forceps, lots of people in the room, etc etc but my DP was amazing in all honesty. I suffer from anxiety too and was really panicking but he managed to stay calm and calm me.

He stayed solidly supporting me until my dad arrived and went for a quick smoke (he was looking pretty out of it at this point) but as soon as I went to theatre he was again great and once I had pushed DS out he was in tears (of relief mainly) and said “I’m so proud of you” which will always stick with me.