Partner opting to work away :( AIBU

[Issy777]

Wrote a few posts about so working away, it's the nature of his job n I know there's not much I can do but it's starting to feel like he doesn't want to be at home...

Perfect example. His job have recently been stationed in a location where he'd have to work away , basically it was like a rota so they all had turns, he did his two weeks ago and then last week was told he had to go down to show another colleague how to use this particular software, it was only a night although it was with another woman who had previously come onto him a few years back
Now, this week he's told me he has to go from Monday-Wednesday night to cover someone,
Thought this was a bit weird cos it was on a rota base but it came out he'd actually VOLUNTEERED to go, really hurt me that he'd rather be working away then spending time with me and our daughters! Youngest dd is only 10 months so to see her more is great,
Also he does the picking youngest dd on Monday as it's from his parents house so we've had to arrange they drop her to me at work (they live quite far out) so I do feel sorry for them as this is will be third week they're doing it, but cos he is their son they've just said it's fine

I'm hurt because him volunteering to go shows he'd rather be away from us. It's even got me thinking has he got another woman there?! He has been more on his phone lately, also in a bit emotional cos I'm having to do all the Mum duties by myself after having a full day at work,
It's been a really stressful few weeks for me at work also n to know I've gotta come home n do all the routine by myself is quite daunting but obviously he doesn't seem to care??!

AIBU? His job does entail him to work away occasionally depending on availability and flexibility but it' has been quite difficult for me :(

YANBU and although I couldn't say whether or not he's got another woman he's definitely deliberately shirking his family responsibility and being a dick.

@peachgreen

Thanks I really thought I'd be getting IABU and paranoid. I do think it's odd cos for example if I'm offered training at work I always firstly think of childcare and family etc and how it would impact on us.
He just seems to willy nilly say yes without consulting me :(

Does he get more money for working away? My th used to volunteer when he felt.money was a bit tight

It's a bit of a leap to say he's having an affair. But he certainly sounds a bit selfish and not thinking about you and DC (and his parents too). Have you told him how you feel?

@Allthewaves

No he's on an "allowance" it's classed as intermediate allowance where he's paid extra to work flexible hours and every four weeks be on call. But the working away is all him as he seems to be the first one that volunteers.
I think it may be because he wants to look good? He does like praise and he loves his job. But it's still hurtful and I feel resentful

Oh bless you. It is a bit dramatic to come to the conclusion he's cheating on you though! Do you have any other evidence? Is he getting paid extra to work away? Perhaps this will look good if there is a promotion coming up?

If he isn't getting paid extra and there's no promotion on the horizon then he is definitely being selfish and you will need to have a chat with him I think

Wait - he volunteered and didn’t discuss this with you? What kind of partnership is this?

@Laureline

Exactly,
This is how it's been for ages since he got this job

@lexi727

Not really a promotion coming up but there is room to move up in his job and that may be a reason he puts himself out there

@Issy777 that sounds like it's likely to be the reason why he's volunteering to work away. He is still being selfish though - so perhaps you should mention it to him tonight. Just say how you're feeling and hope he listens X

Been horrible tonight
I'm thinking there could be an ow.
Seems distant and distracted