To want to be told what to do sometimes as a sahm

[SEsofty]

I am a sahm and I appreciate that I am fortunate to be in this position and I really enjoy it.

However in my old job it was a very high pressure, reactive job, lots of deadlines and meetings etc. Therefore every day was incredibly busy and it was a matter of priorities etc

Now I am in the position of having to think how to fill the day and although I do groups and classes can’t afford to do it every day

Therefore have to have some days at home and we do craft, baking jigsaws go for walks etc

However sometimes I wish that there was someone external telling me what I had to do partly to motivate and to remove the elements of unlimited choices.

Some days the flexibility is fantastic but other days I wish that I didn’t have to do all the thinking

So Aibu in wishing that sometimes someone else would decide what to do

YANBU i need a coach. I fritter so much time away.
No doubt lots of perfect Petras will be along to tell you to 'get a job' or that they 'find plenty to do, thank you very much.'
But for me, i totally get you.

Oh I know exactly what you mean. I'm such a procrastinator, if I have no obligation to do something then I struggle to find the motivation to actually do it. I try to always arrange to do things with people so that I have to go because I hate letting people down. I do try to have one day a week where we do fuck all and just chill out though, that day is for me

I totally get this, if we have a day of watching the telly a bit too much or where I want to read mumsnet while they play I feel awful mum guilt.

Well we’ve baked and are now eating cakes

Think it’s particularly bad because he has stopped napping so instead of activities, rest more activities. I have to fill the whole day

Maybe you could write yourself a to do list every day, perhaps you would get gratification from ticking items off the list as you go?

its a lot of time to fill , maybe you could spend some time searching out online, things to do in area that are free etc what's on in local library etc. and then make yourself out a rough calendar , add in with your existing classes, then put in outdoor time as well like Monday walk to playground, Wednesday football in park, and then your cooking day, your make homemade playdough day etc , so you have a rough weekly plan obviously you can decide to do or not on the day but least you don't have to keep thinking about it,

Wait til he's older and you won't believe how busy it can get! Sorry - that's not enormously helpful. I went back to Uni v part time to do an MA when DS1 was 1yo - I too needed something with deadlines & found the adjustment from full time high pressured job to sahm quite hard. Maybe something like that?

I didn’t like that element either so I gave myself a weekly structure to stick to. Monday morning: toddler group in local church, afternoon: baking. Tuesday morning: playground, afternoon: drawing. Etc.
Each day had one trip out and one activity, and the rest of the time TV, mumsnet, free play etc. That helped.

However in the blink of an eye they’re at school and nursery now and so I don’t have those troubles any more. You don’t have long of this and life will be different again.

Well, you’re only ‘fortunate’ if being a SAHM is something you want to do. For me, it’s something I can’t imagine wanting.

I get that you say you enjoy it, but the rest of your post sounds anxious and bored, and sounds as though you hanker after some elements of a workplace. Are you sure it’s for you?

Don’t want to sound like a perfect Petra , but have you thought about volunteering? Something you feel strongly about. It can be a win win scenario.

I second planning your day/writing a list. I’ve been a SAHM for 5 years and I use a diary to plan what we’re going to do for each day and leave ourselves 1 day with no plans other than laundry etc. I’d also recommend getting out and about as much as possible to libraries, museums and any other place you can think of that is free and will keep you out of the rain at this time of year!

I also write a list of all the household chores I need to do so I can slowly work my way through it during the week

Rick how would I volunteer with toddler in tow? I’d absolutely love to do that and I do help run the local toddler group but not sure what else I could do

My mistake, I didn’t realise you had a toddler. When I look back to the days when my children were small I just wish I had enjoyed it all more, and not been so anxious. I hope you find your way