AIBU? Single parent v migraine

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Rant alert!
Yesterday I had a raging migraine. Made it through the day at work practically on my knees, drove to collect DD (13) from after school activities at 6.15. She called me at 6.20 to see where I was parked- she didn’t listen and spoke over me when trying to explain as had to park 2 mins further away than normal- not far or complicated but she talked over me so didn’t understand. 6.30 still not got to car I’m panicking she’s been kidnapped/feeling like my eyes are going to start bleeding from migraine pain. 6.40 she arrives at car but realises she’s left jumper inside. More waiting while she gets it.
Pull over twice on way home with head pain. Feel like I shouldn’t be driving but have no one to collect us and no public transport anywhere near (no money for taxi).
Get home, full of relief that my head hasn’t yet exploded.

DM is at mine- granted she’s done this mornings washing up and put on a load of laundry but that wasn’t expected and isn’t usual.
I literally collapse in tears on my bed as felt so bad. DD washes hair, DM oversees her putting pizza in oven etc then leaves.
DD needs hair in plaits for dance show tomorrow. I can’t see and she threw a tantrum because I refused to do them as I can barely lift my head. Compromised with one low plait that I can do with closed eyes. DD shouty and makes me upset so I cried, then she cried. My poor neighbours.

No one asked if I was ok. Not even this morning. No one checked to see if I needed a drink. They literally ignored my sobbing.
I get that DD was upset but so was I. I get that it’s not her fault that she has one parent, that’s its not her fault, that she gets a s**t deal. But so do I.

AIBU to think that one of them should have stuck their head around the door to see if I at least needed a drink of water??!
Why don’t they care?!!!!!
Sick and tired of doing everything and no one noticing when I’m on my knees

I feel your pain
Literally
I get hideous migraines where I just need to sleep in a dark room. And I can't drive safely as I can't see properly. Single mum too but dm used to take dc so I could sleep.
Have you told the family how disabling it is? Dd is 13
She's just being a teenager but surely your dm could help out? Does she drive or can a friend (or dds friends mum) not drop her home on the odd occasion?

Once this migraine passes, could you sit your DD down and explain to her what is happening to you and how it feels? Explain to her that you simply cannot do all the things you usually do and she is going to have to accept that. At 13 she should hopefully be old enough to understand that?

I suffer from them too, my DH works away, so I've got 2 DC to look after and I understand the hell it is. Mine aren't old enough to understand yet, but when they are I hope they will get it.

I get migraines and am a single parent. You shouldn’t be driving when you have one. dD can miss after school club, it’s far more important to be safe. My DC (10&7) completely understand that I can’t function when I have one. Either I get someone in to look after them or they look after themselves for a few hours. Your DD is more than capable of looking after herself at 13. In the future, don’t struggle through work, go home, take meds and try and sleep it off xx

I think you need to spell it out to your daughter what you expect when you are unwell. At thirteen she is more than capable of fending for herself whilst you go to bed and ought to offer you some rudimentary care too. At her age I used to wait on my mother when she was ill (which was a lot of the time. I suspect now looking back that she had hangovers & would take to her bed never mind migraine!).

I hope you are feeling better by the way. I get migraine and it is horrid.

YANBU. But how has she got to be 13 years old with no empathy for her mother when she's ill??

If you get fairly regular migraines your daughter (and your mum) surely should know how bad they are? No excuses for either of them to ignore you and/or be rude to you.

Your daughter is lucky you could manage to drive to pick her up. When I get a migraine I honestly cannot even get out of bed because as soon as I lift my head the room spins and I throw up. I also lose the sight in one eye.

I don't have children but I do have dogs and, thankfully, a lovely DH, and when he is working away, lovely neighbours, who feed, walk my dogs for me when I have a migraine

She did look after herself- mad herself dinner, washed hair etc nothing unusual there

And she is preparing for an impending exam at the club so can’t miss sessions so close to it- way too much work has already gone into it