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AIBU?

To make Ds(6) do chores to pay for it

20 replies

Lovethetimeyouhave · 10/10/2018 19:57

Ds (6) but 7 in 2 weeks, loves playing some games on the ps4 with his cousin, she is 6 and they play on a Friday and Saturday night, they have a wonderful bond and as she is 120 miles away, this helps them keep their bond!

Only ds keeps dropping the controller and headphones on the floor and has no care towards it at all. We replaced it once, in Friday he dropped the headphones and they've broken again, we have repeatedly told him about it but he literally doesn't care. Until now.

I have said that if he wants another pair he has to work for them, I'm not shelling out the money again. Is this mean?
I feel he's young but at the same time he destroys so much in the home and doesn't care, he'll pour all the shampoos and conditioners and shower gel down the sink in the name of "washing his hands" and "No I didnt".

If it's reasonable how much for the chores, he needs to earn £30

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RedPandaMama · 10/10/2018 19:58

Definitely reasonable. He might only be 6 but he should know not to be completely careless.

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Bambamber · 10/10/2018 19:58

YANBU I would absolutely do the same

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TokyoSushi · 10/10/2018 19:59

YANBU as long as they're age appropriate chores then absolutely fine!

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User97532468 · 10/10/2018 20:00

Absolutely otherwise he won’t earn the value of stuff. I get mine to do dusting for 50p, he also does weeding for a few £ and when he was saving up he held a bake sale to raise money and did jobs for his Grandparents. I don’t pay him a lot for stuff as I want him to put the hard work in and he definitely takes better care of stuff he’s saved and worked for!

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Lovethetimeyouhave · 10/10/2018 20:00

Thank you, I'm so fed up of the absolute destructive behaviour, he found a kindle case in a drawer earlier and pushed the plastic protective layer through so it's unusable and broken! It's utterly exhausting!

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Feellikeimthemaid · 10/10/2018 20:04

YANBU, he needs to learn the value of things. I'd let him go a couple of weeks without before replacing them, or reduce the number of birthday presents you would have bought him and make the headset one of his gifts.

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RebelRogue · 10/10/2018 20:05

DD is 6 and gets £1 for the chores that should be "our" jobs like doing the dishes,hoovering the bedroom, doing the laundry.
She gets no money for looking after/putting away her own stuff.

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civicxx · 10/10/2018 20:05

Thats rough. 100% i think he should do some chores to earn the money. he doesnt seem to care or think there are consquences to his actions. its all good and well acidentaly breaking things but being destructive in the way you describe isnt an accident. My daughter (8) is always leaving the remote control on the couch because she just forgets to put it back where it goes on the stand but shes well aware the day she leaves it on the couch and forgets and hops on to the couch causing it to hit the wood floor and break she will be using pocket money/christmas money to replace it and it is £45. I think at your sons age that saving up this £30 for the headset will be enough of a shock that he will be much more careful in future :)

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trojanpony · 10/10/2018 20:36

YANBU

You will be standing him in good stead for the future too

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fifithefoof · 10/10/2018 20:37

I just gave mine (5) a dollar for playing with my hair.

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MakeAHouseAHome · 10/10/2018 20:39

I have a different opinion. I disagree with giving money for daily chores, I think that is part of family life - everyone chips in (obviously age appropriate tasks!). So if he needs to earn money it should be for something above and beyond a normal daily chore.

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Glovesick · 10/10/2018 20:46

If you pay 50p per chore, he will have to do 60 chores. At 2 per day that is a whole month. My DD is nearly 5 and a month would be too long for her to achieve a target. So I would work back how long you want it to take, how many chores there are a day and then make that equal £30.

Dishwasher, sorting laundry (dark/light), dusting, sweeping, hoovering, laying and clearing table, washing up, emptying all the small bins in the house are all tasks my DD does. Also one off stuff like sorting out a sock draw or going through a box of pens and testing them all.

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Glovesick · 10/10/2018 20:49

PS I don't pay my DD and agree with makeahouse it should be part of a team effort.

Could he earn money from doing stuff for neighbours or friends? Or get him to part with something to sell something on eBay?

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Lovethetimeyouhave · 10/10/2018 21:08

I also cone from the idea that we do chores to help each other so this is where o was co fused and a bit on the fence of wanting him to earn but wondering how, he already sweeps, clears the table, folds washing, hangs washing

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LaDameAuxLicornes · 10/10/2018 21:33

Trouble is that for £30 at 6 years old you'd either have to "pay" him an unrealistically large sum for each chore or ask him to do an unreasonably high number of chores. I'd probably just decide that he's not mature enough to be given expensive gadgets yet and not replace it at this stage, though it's a shame about the cousin. Let him learn that sometimes, if you break something it's gone for good.

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Normaknowall · 10/10/2018 21:34

Dishwasher duty every night? Agree it should be extra on top of existing chores - if he isn't likely to break them.
Taking out rubbish? Sorting recycling?
Do you have other DC OP? Can he do some of their chores? Or get him to write an apology email/actual letter to his cousin instead of playing and explain why he can't? That might help make the point?
Any pet chores like grooming, cleaning cages maybe?

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Lovethetimeyouhave · 10/10/2018 21:51

To the poster who said not to replace, we is an only child and I really think a relationship with his cousin is important so not replacing is a bit hard. I think I'll make it 50p a chore and some bigger chores for more.

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RebelRogue · 10/10/2018 21:56

Does he have any birthday/xmas money?

Are headphones mandatory to actually playing the game?

Can you cut other treats out to make up the money? For example no favourite crisps or ice cream,no visit to the farm this weekend, no party etc.

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Medea13 · 10/10/2018 22:19

I agree with a few oher posters that at 50p a chore, raising £30 is a tall order for a 6/7 yr old. Perhaps you could get him to do 2 chores a day at 50p for two weeks (or 15 days), perhaps with some sort of Blue Peter style totaliser so he can see his progress, and then when he's raised half you make up the rest -- but with the explicit understanding that next time he breaks ANYTHING by being deliberately foolish and/or careless, he will need to replace it himself.

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Lovethetimeyouhave · 10/10/2018 22:19

Headphones make it so he can talk to her and they laugh together, so a big part of it. I may see if he gets money for his birthday and suggest he can use it towards the headphones! Thanks for the suggestion

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