My OH can be an utter man-child when he gets stressed at work - most of the time he's OK but from time to time he just reverts to doing very little. He has some MH issues (anxiety / depression) and I know I've enabled some of it by trying to take the pressure off him.
Basically he grew up with dad going to work mum doing everything in the house so I guess it's his norm from that perspective but it's not normally the norm in our relationship.
I work full time, we have 3 children and recently I've basically been doing everything else as well, so we've had a grown up discussion and he admits he's been selfish and focused elsewhere - fine - all under control and he's addressing it - good.
His mum phones him at least every other night, if he doesn't answer she phones his mobile or sends him facebook messages. Says she's worried and she was about to phone the police. At Xmas we were at the in-laws and she spent all day telling him nothing was good enough for him (gave him extra pudding to everyone else which just made me laugh actually said nothing is good enough for my boy - emphasis on 'my' just to make sure I know my place :)) and spent a good half hour stroking his hair.
This week she has phoned him and when he answered he was tired so not full of the joys, straight after the call she sent him a message to say she was worried and to remember 'you're still my baby boy and I'm worried'
So I know I'm stressed because of picking too much up when he's been struggling but I really want to just be out of the house when she visits because firstly to me this is what's enabled him acting like he's another child and secondly I find her over-investment in his life and feelings weird - she tells him how gorgeous he is and how no-one is good enough for him and how she hated the day he got married because she'd lost him etc etc and I've had enough - he's 50 FFS and we've been married over 20 years.
Either tell me I'm being a b*tch and I should put up with it or validate my decision to get the heck out when she's around :)