Friends pregnancy loss....gift ideas....sorry if this upsets anyone....

[sissy89]

One of my best friends has just lost twin babies. These make it now 4 babies she has lost in 18 months. Not through miscarriage but because each one has had something seriously wrong which means she has had to terminate.

Last night she text me saying if it wasn't good news for her scan today then she was done trying. I've now heard that sadly it wasn't good news. She's distraught.

I don't know what to do. I feel I need to send her something when the time is right - not yet. But what do I get for her? If anything?

It doesn't help that I had my 3rd child 5 weeks ago. She is constantly asking me how he is, how I'm doing etc etc. I never know what to put as I know I've got what she wants most in the world.

This lady is literally the nicest person I've ever met. I'm sat crying for her right now as I wanted her to get good news today more than anything. I can't imagine what she's going through.

Can anyone help me think straight and suggest what I should do in this situation? Keep away for a while or let her know that I'm here if she needs me? It wouldn't be so tricky if I didn't have a newborn. I just can't think straight x

@tallace it wasn't a mother and 4 babies picture in a frame- it was a symbolic representation. Think a flower with 4 petals, beautifully drawn.
I've seen other things like stars, a tree, butterflies etc x

When my father died in the late 90s, we received HUNDREDS of flowers, almost all carnations, which I guess were fashionable then. I LOATHE carnations and won't have them in my house now.

Rather than a card, which I always think is a bit impersonal, I think a hand-written letter, on proper writing paper, is the nicest, most personal approach.

And food. Always food.

Send her some flowers or some colourful woolly socks. One of my friends came and sat on the sofa under a blanket with me when I was miscarrying for the 2nd time in 7 months. It is just such a lonely place to be and I loved her for it.

Thank you, I'm going to send her a short hand written letter and a box of chocolates - possibly thinking of a nice candle too but not sure on that one yet x

Giving your time to be there for her is the best thing. Maybe a card too saying how much she means to you and how much you love her. I agree with previous posters, don't send flowers. Kind hearted people sent me flowers after my losses and I found them so morbid. A constant reminder of what happened and when o had to throw them out that somehow made me feel worse. Perhaps when she's feeling stronger you could arrange something special to do like an afternoon tea somewhere nice or a spa day. The biggest comfort is knowing you're surrounded by people who love and care about you. You sound like a lovely friend btw.