To not want to have guests stay over?

[overthehills100]

Namechanged as this is quite outing. I am currently doing a short term placement overseas for work. I’m now living in a city that is popular to visit - think Amsterdam/Paris/Rome.

A lot of friends/family have expressed interest in visiting me but me and DP are currently living in a studio flat. I’ve said to people that whilst I would absolutely love for them to come out, they really wouldn’t be able to stay with us as there is literally no room other than a gap next to our bed which you could just about fit an air bed in. But everyone just keeps saying things like ‘oh I really wouldn’t mind sleeping on the floor for a few nights’... Am I being a massive cow to not want people sleeping right next to me for a few nights? I’m so grateful that people would like to come and see us but I’m quite a private person and it sounds like my worst nightmare...

Thanks so much everyone, glad to see we all agree.

Yes I do think a lot of people are just hoping for a free stay here, it’s why I mentioned that the city is popular to visit.

There are a few of our best friends/very close family members who have asked and who I believe do genuinely want to see us. Lots of them are relatively young people who are used to sofa surfing etc so I think I come across a bit uptight to some of them when I say I wouldn’t want them sleeping on the floor. But oh well who cares - you’re all right, I need to just be firm and say no!!

Totally insane to have guests stay squished in your bedroom.

Oh gosh Bluetrews with the cheek of some people I wouldn’t be surprised

Send them a photo and ask them where they'll fit.

Stop telling people there's a space on your floor for an air mattress! Just say you'd love to see them but don't have room to put them up. If they press say you and DH aren't comfortable sleeping in the same room with others anymore - it's a bit too studenty. Then have a list of cheap places close to you that they could stay in and promise them home cooked food as often as you're prepared to do that while they're there (assuming you'd actually like them to visit).

*DP not DH. Sorry.

you’re all right, I need to just be firm and say no!!

You might as well - you'll have to do it eventually anyway so why not now, when your sanity's still intact

And the close friends/family who actually do want to see you will no doubt be happy with a hotel/AirB&B if they really mean it

Absolutely ∆∆ the only ones who'll get pissy are those just looking for the freebie and aren't really coming to see you. Freeloading fuckers.

What about ‘no, I don’t want you lying next to me while I’m having sex with DP -I did say it was a studio flat!

I’ve got the opposite problem!
Every time I arrange to go and see my family or friends, they bloody well insist we stay with them!

I’d much rather an Airbnb or hotel. I don’t want to sleep on the fucking floor, futon, sofa or hastily evacuated, urine fugged toddler bed.
While it’s lovely to get a bit tipsy and have a catch up the night before, there’s that awkward bit in the morning.
Sorry, not helpful but I’d be horrified if someone (not genuinely in need) tried to insinuate themselves into sleeping in my bedroom.
I speak as someone whose bedroom is routinely infiltrated by small people & naughty dogs. I’m not precious but there are limits.

Set them now and set them hard Over