Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to realise that my parents are brilliant and I don't appreciate them enough?

5 replies

oopslateagain · 09/10/2018 13:03

They live near me and I see them a couple of times a week, I take DM shopping once a week. They're both 81.

DM wants to chat on the phone every day. She complains that I never ring her; I do, but usually she rings me first. She would like to go out more, she says she knows she could get a bus but she can't be bothered (DD doesn't really drive much any more), and then says to me "but I hate relying on you"

DF is getting sort of doddery and forgetful, and has health problems meaning I have to take him to appointments and help sort out his tablets etc. Also he can't do much around the house, so I get phone calls to go and change lightbulbs, read any 'legal' mail, make official phone calls etc.

They both smoke and if we spend any time at their house all our clothes stink which I admit makes me reluctant to go over there much.

I work in the community and have just visited a nursing home. It suddenly struck me that half the people in there are my DP's age, and they are stuck there, relying totally on other people for any trips out, for any companionship. So many of them said things like "Oh yes my son visited last month, it was lovely, he's coming again before Christmas." It was heartbreaking. They only see family once every couple of months and are so grateful for it.

My DP are still active, in their own home, and mentally sound. I need to make the most of that, because it won't last for ever, and I don't want to ever look back and say "I wish I'd spent more time with them."

Just that, really.

OP posts:
Whippedtoafrenzy · 09/10/2018 13:05

My parents similar- thanks for the reminder

TeenTimesTwo · 09/10/2018 13:23

Can they afford taxis?
My DGM had an account with a local taxi firm which kept her more independent for quite a while.
My DPILs had to give up their car, and we pointed out that for what it had been costing they could use taxis too, but they never got over the mental hurdle of it being wasteful.

DF is 88. This year he constructed a platform to paint the outside of the house, and has just replaced a gatepost and fence. Smile

oopslateagain · 09/10/2018 17:10

DM walks to the shops if her arthritis isn't too bad (it's less than a mile) but that's getting less and less often now. But if she wants to go to the nearest 'big' town with M&S etc, it's 15 miles away, taxis are about £25 one way.

OP posts:
ferntwist · 09/10/2018 17:15

You sound lovely OP. A good reminder to all of us

Troels · 09/10/2018 17:26

It is a good reminder, my Dm is 79 and still driving about, she drives me on Sunday out to breakfast and I feel safe in the car with her.
I work in a Nursing home for Dementia patients and forget she is older than a lot of them already. I hope I'm as independant and busy when I'm that old.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page