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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Driving Instructor is being a CF?

78 replies

EdinaMonsoon · 09/10/2018 12:38

DS currently having driving lessons. He took his test a couple of weeks ago and on his way back to test centre was asked to pull over. As he did so he hit the kerb (poor DS - was gutted as was doing really well up until that point but this is a major so instant fail Sad ). Instructor is now asking DS to pay towards damage of wheel. He given a figure of "approx £400". He told DS that it has happened before with another pupil and he was very annoyed that she didn't offer to pay and would therefore like DS to pay this time. My reasons for saying he is a CF are:

  1. Surely that's covered by his insurance? My opinion is that when you undertake to teach people to drive you accept the risks of damage to the car and that your insurance is in place to take care of any such damage.
  1. He seems to be taking out his annoyance with former pupil on DS. It isn't DS's fault that this has happened before and as it is an expensive repair then driving instructor should think again before having swanky wheels put on a learner car. (Disclaimer: not sure if £400 is expensive for this repair but seems excessive to me).
  1. DS has autism and instructor is aware of this. I feel that the instructor should have addressed us in this matter rather than pressuring a vulnerable young adult. DS is still at school and clearly is not going to have a spare £400 laying around so obviously the payment will come from us - and I think instructor would know this.

What say the MN Jury? I'm at work at the moment so apologies if I don't respond immediately to any questions you may have Wink.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 09/10/2018 13:32

Look at the agreement you signed for the driving lessons. The damage issue is very likely addressed there.

thisneverendingsummer · 09/10/2018 13:38

Yeah fuck that!!! No WAY does your son pay anything. Cheeker fucker that guy is. Of COURSE the insurance covers it. When you have learner drivers in your car, there is a SLIGHT CHANCE that the car MAAAAAAY get pranged now and again!

Hmm

Jeeeez, I am fuming on your behalf OP!

Laiste · 09/10/2018 13:40

DS does have a tendency to believe everything said to him. He struggles to read people & situations he can feel pressured to comply even where he suspects it isn't okay

I can empathise with this completely. I do not have autism, i was just bought up to be a people pleaser all the bloody time.

IMO it would be a really good thing to come up with ways in which he can be comfortable saying basically 'i need to go away and think about how to proceed before making a decision on this' and then make appropriate arrangements for contact for when he's had that time to think. It's something i've taught my daughters and i wish it's something i was taught to do when i was younger.

It can cover any situation, big or small, in which he feels pressured to act or make an important choice or admit fault and he needs to feel confident that it's ok to do this and to stick to it firmly and politely. Even if people are demanding their answer. Often it takes the wind out of people's sails and is a very useful life skill.

Oh and the driving instructor? Tell him to go and whistle! Bloody cheek!!

SandAndSea · 09/10/2018 13:42

I thought that this sort of thing is the reason that lessons are so expensive.

Stayoutoftheforest · 09/10/2018 13:42

As a learner driver I knocked a wing mirror off another (parked) car while driving down a narrow street. I got into a right state over it but my instructor just had me pull over and went to knock on the door of the house the car was parked outside to find the owner, told them what had happened and sorted getting it fixed with them. I was not expected to pay or made to feel bad about it, in fact he laughed about the whole thing after it was solved and we carried on with the lesson.

FooFighter99 · 09/10/2018 13:45

Are you absolutely sure the DI has asked your son to pay £400 or is your son misunderstanding due to his autism? (not trying to be a dick, just asking as you have said he sometimes misreads people/situations).

have you actually had this confirmed by the DI or are you hearing this second had from DS?

adaline · 09/10/2018 13:49

I hit a pothole earlier this year and needed a brand new wheel - it only cost me £150!

Get a new driving instructor - he's being a cheeky fucker!

VickieCherry · 09/10/2018 13:50

Absolutely not for you/your son to pay - the instructor should have insurance.

I hit a broken kerb while on my test and put a hole in my instructor's wheel. I was mortified, but he just laughed at me (I was a nervous wreck) and said it didn't matter, all part of the job. He didn't have a spare wheel so we had to stop every few hundred yards in heavy traffic so he could pump the type back up again Blush

Lovinglifemostly · 09/10/2018 13:52

My FIL was a driving instructor. His car was bumped numerous times by pupils and he never once asked for money. That's what insurance is for.

JeanPagett · 09/10/2018 13:54

This is absolutely CFery. As others have said this is absolutely covered by the instructor's insurance. Maybe he's worried about his premiums going up if he makes a claim but unfortunately that's part of the job and why driving lessons cost so much!

Onecutefox · 09/10/2018 14:01

Change the driving instructor as he is dodgy!

cobblett36 · 09/10/2018 14:03

His most definitely a CF! When I was learning to drive I kerbed my instructors car quite badly and he had just had new wheels. All he said was 'fuck they're new' then we laughed it off due to me being quite panicky.

Insurance covers this. Change instructor but contact the current CF to let him know why your DS won't be continuing lessons.

woollyheart · 09/10/2018 14:14

Yes, change the driving instructor - he doesn't sound trustworthy. Insurance should cover this.

PassMeTheHaribosAmego · 09/10/2018 14:16

They sound like they are taking advantage of your son
I would cancel any future lessons and find another instructor

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/10/2018 14:19

Another voice for the chorus of DON'T PAY A PENNY.

His insurance should cover this. Also tell him he's now lost a customer as your DS would not be comfortable continuing with him and neither would you. And you will be telling all your friends who have kids that age too.

CF CF CF CF CF CF!

maddening · 09/10/2018 14:19

Def call the instructor and let him know why you are not paying and demand and explanation for his behaviour

EdisonLightBulb · 09/10/2018 14:21

What sort of DI puts fancy alloys on a learner car?

DD's wheel trims were completely covered in scratches on the car she bought after she passed her test. We changed them. A few weeks later the new ones were completely covered in scratches.

aintnothinbutagstring · 09/10/2018 14:22

Wow, thinking of the number of times I bumped my driving instructors wheel on kerbs, he didn't bat an eyelid. Also thinking of how often I bump the wheels on my own car (should maybe get them checked out!).

CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/10/2018 14:22

OOps! The alloy thing might be my fault... I was pricing up the most expensive version of fixing a wheel being kerbed. Didn't mean to make it seem the this DI had fancy alloys!

PoliticalBiscuit · 09/10/2018 14:25

Hilarious! As if other students haven't caught the wheel and it the car doesn't get driven hundreds of miles a week, and as if your son doesn't already pay for wear and tear of the vehicle as well as towards the insurance by the extra costs the instructor would already charge. Because I bet he charges double the NMW for an hour's lesson! That's to cover all those sorts of incidents.

abbsisspartacus · 09/10/2018 14:28

I remember reading once about someone who flipped the instructors car on the first lesson Grin the quote as I recall was yes of course i will be giving them lessons in the future as soon as i get a new car....

I really don't need to add to the chorus of c.f. do I Wink

Bloatstoat · 09/10/2018 14:31

Yes, definitely don't pay! FIL is a driving instructor (self-employed, own business) - I asked him, he said your driving instructor should never have asked, either driving instructor claims on his insurance, or as no-one else was involved and no damage to anything but the car, driving instructor decides not to claim and pays himself to avoid the claim. FIL says he does either when his pupils have an accident, depending on the circumstances, but was appalled someone would try to charge the pupil! He agrees with pp who have suggested a formal complaint.

Original poster
EdinaMonsoon · 09/10/2018 14:43

Thank you everyone. It’s good to hear such a high level of agreement. I will speak to DI later today & make it clear he/we will not be making any contribution. Discussed the thread responses with DH who tells me that the DI has fancier wheels on his car than I have on mine (& I drive a Porsche) Shock So he can definitely do one! I’m generally clueless about cars/parts etc but that seems absolutely ridiculous to me.

Laiste Thank you for the advice on addressing future scenarios. Like you, I was raised a people pleaser & I can still struggle with it. Will definitely put your advice into practice.

Thanks again all 😊

OP posts:
Scrumptiousbears · 09/10/2018 14:44

Instructor would have an option to include minor damage on his policy. Up to him if he takes it.

Personally I wouldn't pay

I don't agree with point 3. Most kids learning to drive wouldn't have that sort of money (a lot of adults wouldn't either).

He is just a cheeky fucker.

AnneTisocial · 09/10/2018 14:59

Cheek! Don't pay. Unless he can produce a contract that you signed in advance to say you are liable for damage to the car