To quit my job with nothing to go to?

[iamloading]

Sorry will try to keep this as short as possible whilst giving context.

All my life I've done the sensible thing. I'm a pretty boring person really! Worked since I was 16, straight to uni, straight into a graduate job, series of good jobs since then that are ok (can't say I actively enjoy them!) I've been very fortunate to have had a very well paid career to date, with a few nice redundancy pay offs, and now earn 6 figures and have two modest houses paid off. However the flip side of that is a very long commute, very long hours and high stress levels.

Ironically despite everyone seeing me as a career person, all I've ever wanted from age 5 was to be a mum. I've now got a gorgeous 3 month old child and work expect me back in 3 months time. There is a potential option of working 4 days a week.

The AIBU is I just don't want to work for a while. I want two years off with my baby. She will be an only child and I will only get this precious time once.

If I quit I will never get another job that pays half as much as I live in the arse end of nowhere. It's pretty much career suicide. Long story but returning to this job later is also not an option. My husband has a low paying job three days a week, due to health issues he cannot work more.

So sensibly he should of course become a SAHD whilst I work. But for once in my life I don't want to be sensible. We have an incredibly modest lifestyle (helped of course by no mortgage!) so pretty much my whole salary goes into savings. We could manage on just his salary.

Am I being stupid? My mum isn't around, and I suppose I just want someone to say "fuck it, you only live once so do what you need to do to be happy!"

Consulting is something I'd definitely consider. I'm just wary of it being a "plan" as such as I know a lot of people in various industries who have tried and failed to set up a consultancy business.
Re taking the whole year, you are all correct that I should - it also means that I get a car for an extra 6 months!
The other thing I was considering is going back, doing a week and then handing in my notice. Worst case scenario I work my 3 months and earn enough ££ to comfortably support us for another year, best case they just tell me to go and pay me my three months regardless (no guarantees but there is precedent.)

Do it. Ive just done the same thing sort of.
Been back at work a year after having my second. I'm fed up of the commute, the stress, i've done well up to here, there isn't much more career progression for me now. Time for some time out! The kids are only small once.

That's the thing, I can imagine regretting not seeing her grow up far more than committing career suicide. That might change though!

Taking the full year of mat leave is sensible. Even if you only get stat mat pay its still a couple of grand plus you'll continue to accrue holiday for the whole year which they'll need to pay you in lieu if you then leave (don't forget to make sure they include Bank Holidays!)

Just to add a slightly different thought...my kids are a bit older (7&5) and I went back to work after both maternity leaves to a 4 day a week job. Commute and juggling was hard, but it gave me time and money (less of a concern for you I know, but still nice to have) to really think about what I wanted to do next. I've retrained and am now in a job that offers far more flexibility and no commute, so I'm around much more in my kids lives. And the thing is...they don't remember being 1 or 2! They don't remember the hustle of the nursery drop off and coming home to watch Night Garden and basically go to bed. I think they actually need me more in their lives now as they negotiate school and friendships and homework and after school activities and all that stuff. So my twopence worth- it can be worth sucking up the strain in the early years and being around more when they're older (planning ahead i know, but my job will mean in a few years when they're in secondary school I'm around more to keep an eye on things in the holidays). Very best of luck whatever you decide upon x

Of course no one remembers who looked after them when they were one or two years old. That's not the point. It's the bond you form at that age which is crucial. I went back to work FT after my DC were born, had to stop bf before I was ready to and when I look back I wish I'd been there longer. When I had DC3 I stopped working and I loved every minute. Different for everyone though.

Elifant - yep, fair point. I don't feel I missed out on bonding but I was able to have a year off both times and had 'naturally' (if you know what I mean) finished breastfeeding by then. I think if I'd be forced to go back after a few months like the OP is talking about it would have felt very different.

Take a full year maternity, do not resign. Who knows what will happen in a year from now. Keep your options open and enjoy your baby.

It doesn’t necassarily have to be your current, long working hours or SAH.