Denying consent for religious visits

My experience of being non-Catholic at a Catholic school was that they kept saying 'Catholics believe...' so often, that in my head it became, 'Catholics believe X but obviously it's nonsense so we don't expect anyone else to believe it'. Coupled with the dire warnings about accidentally taking communion, there was no chance of me doing more than look on as a bemused observer.

I think if you are going to send your child to a catholic school you have to go with the flow and accept that it is going to be a large part of their education.

My husband and I both went to a catholic school and will be sending our children to the same school. I don't believe in any of it personally and like you I hate the fact that religion is taught as fact and rammed down the kid's throats when they are so young and gullible. I can however accept this and nod along with it as it is by far the best education we can give our children where we live. I think you either accept it and support the school (even if you just pretend like us) in their mission statement or you chose another school.

Did you go to a Catholic school OP?
If you did, I assume you had a positive experience of it or else you wouldn't have sent your son.

I'm only asking as my husband went to a Catholic school, and although he wasn't especially bothered at the time, now with hindsight, he can see that in many wayshis education was greatly lacking in many ways. He left school knowing nothing about other cultures or religions and with hampered social skills. He has been totally put off religion now, and actually believes the Catholic notion of guilt is cruel to impose upon children. A lot of his old school friends feel the same way too.

It's hardly surprising that a religious school will attempt to turn the children into believers. What I don't understand is you sending your DS to a Catholic school and not expecting them to do so. Otherwise what's the point of a religious school?

Are you sure, veggiethrower? According to this, it's 10% of the curriculum which is supposed to be dedicated to RE:
www.catholiceducation.org.uk/schools/itemlist/category/10-ces-news

Though some of us feel, where they're taking taxpayers' money to do it, even 1% would be too much ...

@BlueUggs

Yes!! He takes everything literally - like telling his friends he would be a cannibal to "eat the body of Christ"....it's difficult to make him understand that it is a symbol....

No, it isn't. There's the small matter of transubstantiation. Catholics believe that it is actually the Body of Christ owing to a miracle that occurs during the Liturgy of the Eucharist.

If you don't want him to receive Catholic religious instruction, don't send him to a Catholic school.

YABU to send him to a Catholic school then. I'm an atheist, but went to a Catholic school. Everyone there had to abide by the Catholic ethos.

The Hindus, Muslims, Jewish children, Christians all had to participate in daily Catholic Mass, daily prayer, 10 jail Mary's in May and October etc. It was part and parcel of the school and the parents had to accept it. They did, because they wanted the school for the league tables.

It made me grow up hating religion. Though you say he's in Year 3 and takes things that literally? That would be a concern for me. The Year 3 children I've taught are able to distinguish between fact and fiction at that age.

Blueuggs my DC go to a private Catholic school which quite a few non-Catholic and non-believing kids (atheist families, or culturally Catholic but non-practising/non-believing). There is a termly trip to the local Church for a Mass. The whole school (all teachers, Head etc) goes so opting out is not an option. I usually accompany the class as a parent volunteer. Believe me, there is no proselytizing going on. But the Mass is said in full and the kids participate (bidding prayers etc). Most of the kids fidget. They look at the ceiling. They wriggle on their seats. They (the non-church goers) turn and ask me ‘will it be over soon?’. But they all seem to love the fact that they get to leave the classroom, walk into the town with their friends, chat to some of the parent volunteers. It’s a trip out for them!

Some of these replies are nutty - you can be nasty to the Op because you can always go to confession afterwards? Or telling her it’s not difficult to explain transubstantiwhatsit to her son with special needs?

OP it sucks that you have to go to a Catholic school for your son’s needs to be met. It’s perfectly reasonable to withdraw him from the trip or any other religious lessons you aren’t happy with, as long as you are in communication with the school. It happens in other schools. It’s your decision.

It is a bit like enrolling your child in a Welsh speaking school, and then saying 'It's a great school but I'm not happy about all them learning to speak in Welsh' 😯

Your child thinks he's eating Jesus, well I was confused for years as a child how Joseph was with Mary yet wasn't jesus's dad, literally didn't get it all through primary school! I guess I got it even less when I learnt about reproduction in high school...

Some of these replies are nutty - you can be nasty to the Op because you can always go to confession afterwards?

Errr no one because most posters haven't been nasty and secondly I'm not Catholic.

It's the fact that the OP has sent him to a private Catholic school and then isn't happy with the Catholic ethos which is running throughout the school that most are surprised at.

“It is a bit like enrolling your child in a Welsh speaking school, and then saying 'It's a great school but I'm not happy about all them learning to speak in Welsh' 😯”

Yes, but when the only other alternatives are French speaking schools it can be tricky to be satisfied with what’s on offer.

@Oblomov18

She won’t do that, child is in private school which IMO makes it worse that she’s unhappy

OP I was at catholic school when I was little.
And yes they did the preparation to the First Communion.
My mum refused and I didn’t do it.
I did have to do the prayer starting the day (once in the am and once in the pm) but tbh the only thing I remember from that is one prayer.
That was it.

I'm going to have a chat with his teacher about it all

Good luck with that

You seem pretty dismissive of Catholicism though ("it's a symbol", your son is "gullible" for believing etc.) I just struggle to understand why, given this is how you feel, you thought a Catholic school would be a good fit for your son. Surely all kids, SN or not, are pretty credulous of what they are told by teachers.

Religious Education (learning about religions) and Religious instruction (being told how to act) are different things

YABU

The Catholic schools do teach Catholicism, what a shock
if you aren't happy you'll have to move your child, they aren't going to change for you.
perhaps try a school that doesn't practice faith, there are plenty about.

I went Catholic primary and secondary. It was crazy when I look back.

We were taught in primary by a rather quite nasty nun.

It is pure indoctrination.

Before communion, we all had to go to confession. I was 7. Wtf has a 7 to got to confess.

I said I had lied to my mum, which was a lie, then told the priest that what I had told him was a lie, just so I had something to confess!!!

Then we all got dressed up as mini brides and declared our love and belief to god.

Wtf makes it different to any other brainwashing cult, is beyond me.