To have found it SO anxiety inducing?? DD catching bus and train alone for first time...

[AjasLipstick]

DD aged 14 has been to the shopping centre with her mates today. She knew there'd be no lift home as DH is working an unusual shift and the friends she's with all live close the the shopping centre.

So I told her to get the bus.

She called me to say she was catching a train to a point midway between the shopping centre and our home and then she'd be catching a bus the rest of the way home.

This is a common route people here take as it works out faster. She's done it before with friends but never alone.

Anyway...she rang me in HIGH stress because she'd got off too soon and was at a train station with a similar sounding name to the one she was meant to get off at.

I calmed her down and explained the right train would be along again and that she needed to stay where she was. Which she did....then she got to the bus stop and phoned me panicking again because "Nothing looks right! I don't recognise it!"

I had to calm her down again and explained that she needed to change sides!

God!

She did it though and is now waiting for the bus at the right stop.

I feel terrible because I feel like I should have made sure she knew what she was doing...tbh I thought that she'd done it with a mate and she'd know.

But she said she realised now that she never looks where she is if she's with someone else but just relies on them...so big lesson learned for DD! Bless her!

Please tell me it's ok and I haven't neglected my duties. We live in Australia so things are quite far apart here...the shopping centre is a 45 minute drive away...and thinking about it, in England that would be a LONG way! Where we lived in the UK, the shopping centre was a ten minute drive!

Has she got a smart phone? Google maps is your friend. Put home address in, ask for public transport directions and press start when you get on a bus/ train. It works all over the world and sends you a message when you are near your stop...

Yes she has and I've tried to show her in the past but she's always said "Oh not now!"

Maybe she will let me now!

I was in Australia in Feb and would have been lost without it. In fact did get on bus going wrong way once, but was alerted to fact by a couple of stops. Now she has done it once, she will hopefully remember that journey, but learning the Google map trick would maybe give her confidence to try another route. Good luck!

OP, it seems to me like you and your dd handled this absolutely fine. She was prepared but then panicked, you were there at the other end of the line to reassure her, she managed to get to the right place- well done both of you.

I have a 21yo dd who has some MH issues, but she lives in London, a 2 hr train journey from here and I don't drive. Many is the time I have answered a phone call late at night and heard "mum, I'm at Vauxhall, I'm having a panic attack and can't get on the train"- and I talk her down and then she manages to get on the next train and get home. That's not failure. That's success.

I don't come rushing to sort her out but I give her the confidence to sort herself out. And you are already starting that process with your 14yo- good on you! This is what good parenting looks like!

^ agree with what Cory said. You are both doing fine. You both found it anxty, but she used the phone to solve the problem and it's been a learning experience for both of you. Will be easier next time

It sounds like a life lesson learnt tbh - stressful right now but she will know better next time. We are in Australia too (Sydney) and I have learnt to relax as kids take public transport by themselves fairly young and they all seem to manage fine. My teens have the Tripview app on their phones (not sure if that is just NSW) which is good but there have been wrong train/getting on the bus in the wrong direction moments. I'm fairly hardcore with them to be honest (dd is 15), obviously if there was a real problem I would be there ASAP but as there are lots of places where public transport isn't easily available and I have to play taxi driver, if it is available I expect them to use it. DS now has Uber as a backup but I'm not keen on DD using it by herself.

Thanks all! I feel better now. I tracked her bus and was so relived when I looked down the street and saw her getting off!

Toes I will check that app out thanks! I'm also putting the numbers of some close friends in DD"s phone just so she's got a fallback if she can't get me or DH sometime.

Well done OP, it sounds like you did everything right. And it’s really important for your DD to learn how to navigate her way around on her own so even though it was quite distressing, hopefully she has learnt a lot from it.

As PP suggested it might be worth getting her to practice google maps when you’re together so she’s able to use it when she’s by herself.