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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask for help with my anxiety tonight?

21 replies

adoggymama · 09/10/2018 01:09

Hi everyone, I'm a sufferer of anxiety and panic attacks, have done for over 3 years now. I'm having a hard time tonight- my heart has been racing and I feel on the verge of throwing up in fear! My doctor lowered my medication recently (Prozac) and I've been doing so well on the lower dose, but I have noticed my anxiety heightening in the evenings?

Anyone else struggling tonight? I'd love to hear about your anxiety and your top tips for making yourself feel better!

X

OP posts:
Aintnothingbutaheartache · 09/10/2018 01:19

Have you discovered anything that lowers your anxiety? I know that sounds a bit’no Shit Sherlock ‘ but when you are suffering like that it’s crap.
I’ve always found music to be a great healer. I’m a big fan of headphones and a good old classic played loud.
Sorry not to be more helpful.
You are doing really well to get off the Prozac, it’s not easy, bloody well done

cheesemongery · 09/10/2018 01:26

Hey there, you're doing fine.

I found prozac worsened my long term anxiety so well done for coming down on your dose.

Can you think why your anxiety might be heightened in the evenings? Do you have things to get ready for tomorrow? For example on a Sunday I'd be - aaargh showers, uniform, packed lunches, work clothes, work!!!

Have you told your Dr about this anxiety? I was given Propanalol (not sure how sp?) it's a beta blocker but in very low doses does calm you and let you function.

I think it's worth asking after it or chasing your gp up, as you are clearly suffering.

Sending un mumsnetty hugs from me Flowers

adoggymama · 09/10/2018 01:40

@Aintnothingbutaheartache thanks! I thought it would be harder than it actually has been, been taking it for over 5 years now and I'm done to one tablet a day as opposed to 3!

I love listening to Taylor Swifts Red album specifically to calm myself at night, don't have it on my phone right now though! :(

OP posts:
adoggymama · 09/10/2018 01:42

@cheesemongery aw thank you lovely! I have spoken with my GP about the anxiety, she actually suggested lowering my dosage to try and combat it funnily enough! I haven't heard of that med you mentioned, I'll keep it in mind for when I next see her.

For me right now I'm just fretting about getting up in the morning and walking the dog early, as well as trying to get through tomorrow without any breakdowns! I've been sleeping a lot during the day lately (I'm a student) and it's really been hard for me to get up and face the day for a while now :/

OP posts:
6079SmithW · 09/10/2018 01:43

I find evenings difficult too. It's quiet, you try to relax but your head just runs away with you.
The good thing is that you reached out for help. Have you tried listening to music or having a warm drink? I favour hot milk with cinnamon or nutmeg (or both Smile)
If it makes you feel any better I've just inundated my boyfriend with proper headcase WhatsApp messages. If we're still a couple tomorrow it'll be a minor miracle. (That surely raised a smile at least?)

dontgobaconmyheart · 09/10/2018 01:47

Despite the situation you sound level headed and in control OP- you are doing better than you think and bloody well done you.
Is there something you can go and focus on, a practical activity- even something a bit shit like washing up or tidying a drawer, i always find distraction is the single best way to stop it in it's tracks. If you're lying in bed just get out of it and do some other thing somewhere else, i find it kick starts my brain a bit into moving on to the next thing rather than just staying still cogitating in a pool of anxiety. It's nearly 2am so apologies for the essay and shit grammar but here's everything i have off the top of my head....

You could try something like the Bach Rescue remedy if you haven't, even if it's placebo just taking something 'for' the anxiety can help some people, it does seem to get a lot of praise. I always stick a few drops in my water bottle if i am travelling ( anxious traveller) and it makes me feel a bit better knowing its there - obviously sounds silly but who cares!

I was advised once by a therapist that it can be helpful to snap yourself out so to speak by focusing on the room you're in and just start describing out loud to yourself or in your head, everything you can see in as much detail as possible and keep going.

If shallow breathing is an issue get yourself online and search for an 'anxiety breathing gif' - or get an app- they show you exactly how you should be breathing and following the breaths in and out makes it easier to focus to get the breathing back in order and bring down the feeling of your heart racing. Also if you're feeling claustrophobic open the window a tad and remind yourself you aren't trapped and are in control

It will pass, because they always do don't they in the end. Agree with the others that perhaps speak to your GP about this if it's new, perhaps the dosing needs to be tweaked or you can be offered something such as CBT to help manage the anxiety while you wean off of the meds.

I can really empathise with what you say about it being worse at night, for me i think it was just because there's nothing 'going on' at night, it's all quiet, everyone's asleep. You're much more aware of things. I used to be so bad that every little noise in the house made me leap in fright and i'd end up in tears unable to understand why i felt so bloody unbearably on edge. It was a horrible horrible feeling BUT no harm will come to you, and it will pass.

adoggymama · 09/10/2018 01:49

@dontgobaconmyheart thank you for some great suggestions and ideas! Ironically we had a massive pile of washing up that I could have done but the boyfriend went and did it before I could get there Grin

OP posts:
adoggymama · 09/10/2018 01:51

@6079SmithW Aw I'm sure your boyfriend loves hearing from you- no matter how manically Wink I do that too- but to my best friend, my boyfriend isn't very useful with my panic attacks- just tells me to calm downHmm

OP posts:
Adelino · 09/10/2018 01:55

Remember the last time you felt like this.

Remember it passed and you felt fine the next morning.

In your situation I would possibly take an extra half pill in the evening until you can get a review with your GP.

adoggymama · 09/10/2018 01:59

@Adelino I'm reluctant to take more as I've been trying so hard to come off of them as I want to feel healthy again and not all medicated :(

I can do this, I'm feeling so much better after talking to you guys and reading your suggestions! Company really does help!

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 09/10/2018 02:00

Are you having therapy as well as medication, OP? Because all the meds do is block out some of the anxiety; they don’t deal with the cause.

I had very severe social anxiety and was virtually housebound for the best part of a decade. I then received excellent CBT on the NHS and I’m now fully functioning, recovered and a manager where I work. That was unthinkable back when I couldn’t even leave the house or work at all!

I just want you to know that it is possible to recover, OP. You don’t have to feel like this forever Flowers

cheesemongery · 09/10/2018 02:02

Oh I feel your pain, luckily I have the most wonderful boss ever - he met me at my best, then the worst happened in my life. He knows I struggle to leave the house so offers to pick me up - well it's pick you up or sacked :D

This has been my life for as long as I can remember. I used to drink Ouzo from Greece that somebody had given my parents as a present just to get to school!

Definitely ask about Propanolol, it's used for migraines, anxiety, all sorts as well as a beta blocker. It lowers the blood pressure.

Have you ever tried meditation? There are lots of things online you can relax to, or when you are trying to sleep just focus on your breathing, your body relaxing... in... out... in... out (not the hokey cokey)

You sound very astute and self aware already, so you know it's just the medication change - know that, and know yourself... hokey cokey... and snore... zzzzzz

adoggymama · 09/10/2018 02:05

@WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue I have tried CBT previously but didn't really get along with it unfortunately!

OP posts:
adoggymama · 09/10/2018 02:07

@cheesemongery thank you, I'm 19 so it means a lot that you think I sound self aware and astute!

I do yoga daily which I love and makes me feel good but it only goes so far. I have real trouble with being unable to catch my breath/racing heart most of the day :(

OP posts:
cheesemongery · 09/10/2018 02:22

You're welcome.

Okay my problems started when I was 18 and I was put on Seroxat - I tried to commit suicide on it. Whilst all these drugs are licensed for over 18's, I don't think they do any favours to - I'm not being patronising - a young mind. I'm 42 now and will be on them forever, so all kudos to you for knowing it's not right for you.

I see you've tried CBT but it wasn't for you, it really changed my life BUT you need the right person/counsellor and that's not an easy find with so many NHS cuts these days.

You don't need to say here, but can you identify what brings on these feelings of panic? Often we feel panic when we don't feel in control of our lives. If you can identify what you don't feel in control of...

I was taught this - we are in control of everything we do, the choices we make, there may be external factors making us feel out control BUT usually we can make a choice regarding them. Know that you have that power of choice.

Also know, as you already do, that your anxiety is already heightened by coming off the AD's. You KNOW that, therefore you can rationalise it.

Your boyfriend isn't very helpful telling you to calm down, but that's often a response from somebody who doesn't understand and can quite often be frightened by what is happening.

Ooh I'm going on! You are very self aware though and you know you can come through this. Know it, don't doubt it.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 09/10/2018 02:26

I have tried CBT previously but didn't really get along with it unfortunately!

I don’t wish to be rude, OP, but it’s not a try it once for a little bit and if it doesn’t work it will never work. Especially since you’re only 19.

You have to connect with the therapist, and you have to put your absolute all into it and do absolutely everything they say, however scary it is. It’s the only way CBT will work.

LauderSyme · 09/10/2018 02:38

Breathe, concentrate really hard on your breathing. Your mind and your body are both in a whirlwind, you need to slow one of them down.

Try to focus on your breathing, breathe in for four long beats, hold for four long beats, breathe out for six long beats. Keep doing that. Focus on it. Slowly breathe in. Hold. Slowly breathe out. Keep doing it but if you forget to focus on your breathing for a moment, don't worry, don't berate yourself, simply notice it and turn your focus back to your breathing, nice and rhythmic. Try to stop fighting the feeling of panic, you are panicking about panicking and it is overwhelming but you can slow down and start to relax and regain more control over yourself than you are feeling right now. Breathe.

It is likely that your body and brain are experiencing intense neurophysiological withdrawal symptoms, even minor changes in meds like yours can have strong effects. I have felt very unwell and peculiar following adjustments to my meds, currently 150mg Sertraline per day for chronic depression and anxiety.

I find guided meditations a very effective immediate distraction from the fight or flight battle within that is a panic attack.

There are lots of meditations on youtube and controlling your breathing is always the first step. Even if you think they're cheesy - and they probably are - they can really help to stop your heart racing, to slow down your body and release you from your private, nauseating, hellish carousel.

Bach flower remedies and fragrances of essential oils are good immediate fixes for panic too. Do you have a candle? You could light one and watch the flame while you continue to concentrate on controlling your breathing.

adoggymama · 09/10/2018 16:37

@WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue

I know it's a long process- I attended weekly sessions of CBT on the nhs for 3 years. I just didn't get along with it despite doing the work and challenging myself. Plus the main focus of the CBT at the time was for my OCD and Anorexia- not the anxiety factor.

It's a shame because NHS adult services are really really overbooked and I haven't had an opportunity yet to have some CBT primarily focused on the anxiety and panic attacks.

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 09/10/2018 16:59

adoggymama CBT should not take that long. If it is, something isn’t working; for example, the therapist isn’t the right fit for you.

My CBT on the NHS was 22 sessions over a period of seven months. I went from housebound and unable to work for the best part of a decade to fully functioning and recovered in those months.

You need to go back to the GP and ask to be put on the waiting list for CBT specifically for anxiety.

Good luck Flowers

tipOver · 09/10/2018 18:00

We're a similar age and I suffer from anxiety too so I really feel you. It can be so difficult to get motivated by yourself. One of my favourite things to do when I'm anxious or depressed is knitting, it always really calms me down and levels me, just focusing on doing each stitch over and over again. You have to concentrate some to do it right but it's not difficult once you know how, so it's a nice balance. I also love baking, although that's not quite such a healthy one haha!

I hope things keep looking up for you, and so well done for managing to reduce those meds! That's such a big achievement when it's the route you want to go down Smile

Darkstar4855 · 09/10/2018 18:24

Distraction worked best for me - I would find comedy box sets on Netflix or Now TV and chain watch them, went through a lot of simple cheerful stuff like Dinnerladies, Waiting For God, Scrubs etc.

I also found joining a pool and swimming in the evenings helpful as it tired me out a bit and helped me sleep.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

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