To ask for help with scary teacher

[LEMtheoriginal]

My dd is 13. Loves school. Wins awards for effort and every parents eveningvteachers fall over themselves to praise her manners etc. Blatant not even remote boast!

She is severely dyslexic but manages with significant extra support. Lap top extra time. Interventions etc. Tutor.

Always loves her teachers, even the really strict ones. Is in the chior, chaplaincy etc.

To be frank - teachers pet!

BUT she is a very sensitive and highly anxiius child. A loner and pretty quiet.

She has a teacher for english language that she is scared of. She was too afraid to ask for instructions to email work in and became upset this morning when she hadnt done it. It was fine- just ask for email address etc. Dd was too scared!

Now i dont believe for one miute that this anything other than a scary demeanour and a teacher having a strict way. I dont think she has been nasty to dd at all but i cansee it is bothering dd and im not sure what to do.

I am worried dd will disengage from a subject that despite her difficulties she has always enjoyed.

I have tried to make light of it with dd " tell her your mum will sort her out...if you think shes scary bla bla" dd knows im joking! Ive saidthat its just her way etc but this is the first time ever she has expressed dislike for a teacher

Just contact the teacher and explain the situation to her in confidence

TBH, she's done well to get to 13 and not dislike any teacher. You need to teach her to be assertive and resilient. For example, get her to practice asking for the help she needs, and while I agree about treating it lightly, I wouldn't necessarily go for the 'I'm even scarier approach.' I'd focus on 'everyone is different, you won't like everyone, what's important is how you deal with it, so let's practice what to do or what to say.'

Lonny thats a good approach. Thankyou.

couldn't she have asked one of her friends?

Yes i suppose she could have although my post is more about helping dd to not be intimidated by this teacher. I am reluctant to talk to school about it as teacher hasn't done anything wrong.

Have you asked her what it is about her that’s scary?

I wouldn't talk to the school about it in your position, I'm not sure what you'd say? "My daughter is intimidated by Miss X but through no fault of Miss X"
I'm not sure what you'd be looking to gain from speaking to the school, and all I would think would happen is the teacher would be made to feel as if she'd done something wrong when she hasn't.

dd " tell her your mum will sort her out...if you think shes scary bla bla" dd knows im joking!

Christ on a bike. You are reinforcing her belief that the teacher is "scary".

What is it she finds intimidating about her?

Your daughter needs to toughen up. How is she going to get by as an adult if she hasn't got the gumption to ask for simple things like instructions?