Please help me cheer up my son!

[NotUmbongoUnchained]

I don’t know what to do with my 2 year old boy. My daughter, his big sister, started school this September and he is in actual morning. He worships her and is so sad that she’s not in nursery with her anymore. Apparently at nursery now he just stands outside by the gate hoping he will see her in the playground at school.
He’s actually depressed! I feel so awful for him. He had lots of friends but he’s become completely withdrawn. We were going to separate their rooms but I think this might tip him over the edge if we do this now.

Had anyone else had this? What do I do? Is a visit to the GP really over the top? Can a 2 year old be depressed??

How about getting him a small pet? We have 2 guinea pigs, they are fab pets, he can feed and stroke them if you are holding them..

Or a rescue rabbit?

He needs something to love and look after!

He has a kitten, fish and a hamster.
I just want to cry every time I look at him.

What is the nursery doing to distract him? They need to help him deal with this keep him busy don't let him dwell

They try and get him to play with friends but he’s always looking over at the school.
When she was there, he used to play with his friends, not really with her. But I guess he just knew she was there.

It’s just an adjustment period, he’ll get used to it. I’ve seen many nursery kids like this. Can he maybe take a special teddy with him to school? Or maybe encourage the staff to get him to bond closely with another child instead of focing him into a group Scenario? He obviously felt protected and comforted by his sister, could she sometimes come in to visit him while on break time?

No I don’t think she’d be allowed to visit. If he was screaming and crying about it I think it’d be easier, but when she gets out of the car he just sits there stares into the back of the seat and doesn’t say anything. He’s just really really sad.

Oh this is so sad! Have just told DH and now we are sad together. No suggestions I'm afraid, but poor little soul :(

My husband is really upset about it, but he’s trying not to let it show bless him.

He’ll get used to it. He’s two. I think you’re being over dramatic tbh.

No don’t do GP. He’s not depressed or ill, he’s a bit sad. Let him learn to come to terms with his feelings. Missing someone we are close to is normal. Being sad is normal. Let him settle down himself. He’ll adapt if you don’t make it a bigger deal than it is.
Being ever cheerful and not caring about our relationships is abnormal.

Poor guy is there any way he can see her at lunchtimes, even just through the gate so he knows she's there?

Could he take something of hers to nursery? A soft toy she could give him or a jumper he could wear. It might make him feel better.

I’m not being dramatic, it’s been 4 weeks and I can’t remember the last time I saw him even crack a smile. Honestly it’s like hes concussed.

Could you take him to somewhere like build a bear and have his sister help him make a bear and record a special message from her in it?

Yeah he can see her at lunch times, she will go over and see him if he’s stood there but then I want her to be off playing with her friends.

That could be a good idea! We haven’t been to build a bear for a while. They could do one for each other.

That sounds lovely! I'm so sorry he's feeling so down, it must be utterly heart breaking to see

Those are some very adult emotions you’re ascribing to a toddler. Why wouldn’t he have cracked a smile when he’s seeing his sister every afternoon after school?

Aww bless him.

But it doesn't sound like the nursery are doing much to distract him and engage him in other things. I would be speaking to them and insisting that he is to be

My youngest was like this when eldest went to school. He always wanted to go to the school like his brother! I just did lots with him during the day when he was home with me, just the two of us. So trips out and lots of playing together.

The good thing was that when he started at nursery at school this year he was super excited about it and happy to go in!

diana I don't know that's why I'm asking if anyone else has experienced this.
I have a mental illness and I'm worried he may be getting it from me.

I wish I could spend the days with him just him and me but I have to work.

@NotUmbongoUnchained Ohh love him!! No advice just love him!! I have a 15month old DD & am pregnant with my second I'd love it if they shared this sort of bond! He will get used to it I hope! X

Oh bless him. That sounds really sad. 😢I’m sure he’ll get used to it eventually but sounds like he’s quite a sensitive boy! Mine is a sensitive little lad too and it makes me want to cry when he’s really sad.

I’d speak to his key person again to see if they could come up with ways to distract him or get him involved in playing with others. They must have some tricks up their sleeves (nursery staff are miracle workers in my eyes 😃)! I also love the idea of getting his sister to make him a bear that he could take with him.

Hope he cheers up soon!

Firstly, he will be fine. He obviously has a good understanding of the situation so talk to him and explain. Do try to do fun things together at weekends so he can be with his sister, but I fear it's more of a waiting game, he will get over it. My younger dd was really jealous that her elder sister went to big school, she was convinced it was better than her nursery class - lasted a couple of weeks.

Oh i was like your son when my sister went to big school. Don't worry he'll get used to it in a bit. I remember feeling sad snd scared i was left behind and wanted to go to the big school too with my sister. It was better when i made new friends.