That abuse as a child is still effecting me?

[PriscillaSM]

I won't go into too much detail but as a child my DF's ex-partner used to abuse my DB and I. This happened from when I was 6 until I was 12 (DB is 5 years younger than me).

Over the past three months I have met my DP's DS (aged 4) and have been on days out, he's come around mine for the day with DP, I go to DP's house when he is there etc.

Since I have met DP's DS I keep having flashbacks of the abuse I endured as a child. I don't know if this is because I have now met DP's son and am in a sense in the same situation of my abuser (if that makes sense) and could not imagine doing the things she did.

My AIBU is that I'm thinking that this could be triggering me as for the past few months I've been having flashbacks and nightmares of the abuse I endured? Has anybody else experienced anything similar?

Obviously I don't want to mention this to DP as I don't ever want him to think I don't enjoy spending time with his son as I really do. Also this post isn't me trying to blame his son for anything (I know some MNer's may think this is the case but it honestly is not).

Honest opinions & suggestions would really be welcome.

Hey, you hve PTSD and it will get better over time but probably not vanish.

I am a massage therapist and I ended up having to do a massage in the house I grew up in. It was SO awful I was properly freaking out. When I came home to my husband I was still really shaken and upset.

He said to me that the feelings I was having (which were intense) were he Freida and reactions of a child which are so much more extreme than in an adult mind, which is why it was affecting me so much... it was like I couldn’t rationally assess the situation because it put me mentally back into my 8 year old self.

It really helped

I don't have experience of this but just wanted to give you some sympathy. I'm sure this is common among those who have experienced trauma. Can you access any counselling, maybe through your employer or a local support group? Maybe you could figure out a way to talk about it with your partner--I can understand why you don't want to in this case, but it could be much better to get honesty and support between you about it, if you can get across to him that it's not a complaint about spending time with his kid. You deserve kindness and support, not isolation and trauma.

Good luck.

I suffered emotional abuse as a child - and I still have issues decades later, so you shouldn't feel guilty at all. It does sound like you have PTSD - there is help available such as EMDR, or talking therapy. I hope you can get some help.