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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Or should I be mad?

17 replies

Sarah1212 · 08/10/2018 14:59

So about a month and a half ago I gave my Husbands mother some expensive shoes. I wasn’t sure if they were her style so I sent a phone and asked if she would like, she said yes and would I like money I said no it’s fine. So today I have seen she has sold them through Facebook. If she didn’t like them she shouldn’t have taken them. I also think she should have offered them back before selling. Am I be unreasonable as I gave them to her so she could do as she wishes? I just think another friend could of benefitted from them or I could of sold. Thoughts please

OP posts:
BiscuitsAndGravy · 08/10/2018 15:09

I think it's rude as fuck to take something from someone then then turn around and sell it. But loads of people will be along to tell you that she is entitled to do what she likes.

I'd be angry.

Aprilislonggone · 08/10/2018 15:11

At Christmas whatever she gives you I would sell it on fb!!
Or regift it to her next year.

Returnofthesmileybar · 08/10/2018 15:13

Yep loads will be along to tell you they are hers to do with as she pleases but imo it's very rude. I'd have to say it myself, behaviour like that just isn't ok

ConsiderHerWaysAndOthers · 08/10/2018 15:13

Ungrateful cow, YANBU.

showmewhatyougot · 08/10/2018 15:15

So rude! Especially because you gave her the chance to just say no if she didn't actually want them :S

frecklefox · 08/10/2018 15:19

That's really rude, I'd be cross too!

I'd send her a message saying you noticed she'd posted the shoes on Facebook so you can take them back to get them out the way if she doesn't want them.

DBN1 · 08/10/2018 15:19

I'd have to say something to her. Along the lines of "If you didn't like or want the shoes it would have been better to give them back to me so that someone else I know could have benefitted from them. Even if they just didn't fit right, I'd have still taken them back from you".
You'll be getting loads of posts saying YABU though OP. I'm eyes, you are not.

DBN1 · 08/10/2018 15:20

At Christmas whatever she gives you I would sell it on fb!! This!! Grin

SondheimFan · 08/10/2018 15:20

On the surface, a rude thing to do.

But if she offered you money for the shoes even though you refused it presumably it wasn't a birthday present, or a present for another special occasion? And she said yet to the style, but had not yet tried them on when she accepted them? Are you in the habit of giving her expensive presents for no reason? Or did they turn out not to fit, and she felt awkward because she had said yes to them and/or she'd damaged them when trying them, and felt awkward about returning them to you because you couldn't have returned them to the shop?

I mean, it's still a weird thing to do, but if you often give her expensive presents, does she think, rightly or wrongly, that you have a lot more money than she does, therefore she's entitled to monetise a gift...?

Feellikeimthemaid · 08/10/2018 15:23

It's not just that she sold them, after you gave her the option of saying no thanks she didn't want them, it's the fact she did it on FB where you could see what was happening. That's super rude and I'd be angry too.

Original poster
Sarah1212 · 08/10/2018 15:36

Yep that’s what I thought, if she has sold them on eBay I would of been none the wiser but the fact it was on Facebook right in front of my face. That’s why I thought maybe I was over reacting as it was done so openly.

I’m not in the habit of giving really expensive gifts, I brought them for myself and I just didn’t like how they looked on me. And I was having a clear out and thought she might like them so asked if she would like them which she said yes.

I would ask from them back but they have sold.

I want to ask her why she did it but don’t really know what to say.

I’m just quite offended. I think she should of offered me them back.

OP posts:
Dragongirl10 · 08/10/2018 15:46

Thats awful, she shouldn't have taken an expensive gift to then sell it....l wouldn't ever give her anything of value again

Original poster
Sarah1212 · 08/10/2018 15:52

When I say expensive I don’t mean hundreds of pounds, but they were £70 new and I’d never worn them. Which to me is expensive.

OP posts:
SistersOfPercy · 08/10/2018 16:09

Oh I'd have to comment on the post, something like 'If these weren't suitable you could have offered them back to me first'

Watch her squirm.

Aprilislonggone · 08/10/2018 17:46

Or ask her for 50%??
Dare you!!

Original poster
Sarah1212 · 08/10/2018 17:49

Haha that’s what my friend said ask for the money lmao. I wouldn’t dare ha

OP posts:
SputnikBear · 08/10/2018 17:55

If they’re sold she needs to refund and get them back. Or give you the money. You offered them to her if she wanted to wear them - not to sell, you could have sold them yourself! I’d be furious!

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