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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you think is fair in this situation?

198 replies

Spookytoast · 08/10/2018 14:21

Person A manages 3 people (B, C, and D).

Person B was on long term sick due to stress, but has been back in the office for almost a year, with reasonable adjustments made for their condition. Before going on sick leave B was underperforming and was subject to performance improvement measures.

Persons B, C and D are all contracted to do the same job at the same level.

Since returning to work, Person B hasn’t been working at the level they are paid for, partly due to them underperforming at a the Lower level work (which was supposed to be just to ease B back in).

There is a new upcoming project which person A must decide who to put in charge of. B and C both really want the project. B really needs to start performing at the higher level again in order come off the performance management scheme but A isn’t sure B will be able to cope with the work. B really wants the project to prove that they are still able to work at that level and have felt demotivated working at the lower level, hence the underperforming. C has worked extremely hard this year to prove themselves and A would feel bad overlooking C for this opportunity when they are more than capable.

However A is under a lot of pressure from B and HR to give the project to B so they aren’t disadvantaged when it comes to performance reviews. A is also worried about discriminating against B due to her condition.

What would you say is fair in this situation, and what advice would you give to A, B and C?

OP posts:
Gersemi · 09/10/2018 07:57

It sounds to me as if you have more than enough evidence to defeat a discrimination claim if B were unwise enough to bring one. I think HR need to be told that there comes a time when you have to be prepared to risk a claim. By all means do everything possible to soften the blow for B, but really she needs to be asked why, given that she couldn't manage the mini project, she thinks you would conceivably give responsibility for the bigger one to her.

ChaosMoon · 09/10/2018 08:41

Well this has been emotional, flashback-esque, reading. I could almost believe you were writing about something I went through a few years ago. I was D.

B was given the project. Within a couple of weeks, some of their admin and day to day work was passed to me and C so that B could focus on the new project. C was really upset and handed their notice in 6 weeks later.

So I was covering C's work and bits of B's. It took months to replace C and when we did, they needed a lot of support, which A couldn't give, as they were working closely with B to keep the project afloat. So I was managing new C. Over time, we took on all of B's usual stuff and the boring, adminy bits of the New project. New C quit over the ridiculous situation and I was back to doing that work as well.

Then B went back on long term sick due to stress.

I was working until 10 and taking stuff home at weekends to try to get everything done. Which I just about managed but not to a decent standard. There was just too much. I will add that we work with vulnerable people, so they suffer when we don't deliver properly. I cried every day for the last 3 months that B worked with us, because of the stress of it all. My husband begged me to take time off, but our service users would have been up the proverbial creek.

I'm still friends with B. It want their fault. They weren't lazy. But now they're better, they can admit they made the wrong call taking on that project.

Please give it to your C. I feel for your B but being "nice" to her now isn't the same as being kind our helpful in the long run, and it's unlikely to be the right thing for anyone else, or your project.

RangeRider · 09/10/2018 11:00

B would get more sympathy if she actually did her current job to the best of her abilities and didn't use demotivation as a reason for under-performing.

HmmmWellAllRightyThen · 09/10/2018 11:21

Has C gotten the project yet?

We're all rooting for you C. 😁

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 09/10/2018 11:34

Go Team C!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 09/10/2018 12:14

I think some posters on here need to remember that stress is a mental health condition and, if it's long term and substantially affects an individual's ability to carry out day to day tasks, it can be considered a disability. This could apply in B's case.

You’re not wrong but OP has already stated that B has had all the reasonable accommodations. If she still can’t do the job then why does she think she should be given something more complicated or whatever?

I’m with @ShineOnHarvestMoon. Making it a joint effort is possibly the worst thing to consider.

klondike555 · 09/10/2018 12:45

C should get the project. In fact if I was C and the project was given to B over me then I'd probably look for a new job where my work was actually appreciated and rewarded. Then A really would be up shit creek; B incapable of managing the project and no C to pick up the slack

Absolutely this.

It's a complete non brainer that C should be given the job. If A can't see that, and act upon it, then they don't deserve to have their job either.

If I was C, and B was given the project, I'd probably quit on the spot if I was financially able to. Either way, I'd be looking for a new job that day. And no way would I be stepping to save help the project when B inevitably stuffs it up.

Mildmanneredmum · 09/10/2018 13:01

From an HR perspective I'd put together a really robust competency-based selection process for the project which they would both go through and it could be scored. Then the outcome would be transparent.

Bluntness100 · 09/10/2018 13:07

Op, are you coming back? Tell us who you are? I don't really get starting a thread then not interacting.

MaxDArnold · 09/10/2018 13:23

B needs to suck it up and work at a level which will get them noticed for the right reasons, and not play the mental health card quite frankly.

ShineOnHarvestMoon · 09/10/2018 13:59

Maybe OP is B, and is processing the almost unanimous response?

Having been C for several years, I really would not wish a serious chronic mental illness on even my worst enemy. It’s shit, not being able to meet normal expectations.

But it’s also pretty rubbish working alongside B. They’ve had reasonable adjustments. These don’t mean not doing the job.

They mean a holistic approach to working out reasonable adjustments (eg starting later, ability to take short breaks during the day) so that B can actually do the job. Not use her/his chronic illness as an excuse for not working to a reasonable standard.

The problem with a number of mental illnesses is that often the sufferer is in denial. I don’t blame them but it doesn’t help them recover, or develop coping strategies for their illness (eg “my” B indulging in recreational drugs - not at work of course - because they were “better” than her medications as weed is “natural “.

Lostinlondon999 · 09/10/2018 17:46

I think give B a chance. I know you said B was off for stress but for that length of time I’m assuming B must have been seriously depressed. They seem like they are ready for the challenge and deserves a chance.
Sadly C sounds like they deserve it too.

RangeRider · 09/10/2018 17:53

I think give B a chance. I know you said B was off for stress but for that length of time I’m assuming B must have been seriously depressed. They seem like they are ready for the challenge and deserves a chance.
But B isn't even doing her current job properly because she's claiming to be demotivated. If you want to be given more challenging work to do, you do your existing workload really well to prove you're up to it. You don't go 'I'm bored with this so I can't be bothered to try, give me something better'.

MaxDArnold · 09/10/2018 17:53

They seem like they are ready for the challenge and deserves a chance.

Why? They haven't been putting in the work.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 09/10/2018 17:57

I do have sympathy for B as I have been depressed and had a long break due to stress. Though that was mainly because I'd been a C and D but had to step up to deal with another colleagues crap then was constantly looked over or told to suck up doing all the extra then having to bail them out again.

However if B has been underperforming since their return on lesser tasks I would give the job to C, and reevaluate Bs plan as it clearly isn't working for the company nor B.

ToniHargis · 09/10/2018 18:03

"There is a new upcoming project which person A must decide who to put in charge of. B and C both really want the project. B really needs to start performing at the higher level again in order come off the performance management scheme but A isn’t sure B will be able to cope with the work". - ASK yourself WHY and make sure it's not just b/c you want C for the project. Also - is B's success going to impact you at all.
"B really wants the project to prove that they are still able to work at that level and have felt demotivated working at the lower level, hence the underperforming." - That's perfectly understandable. However, this project might be too much and have a negative effect.
"C has worked extremely hard this year to prove themselves and A would feel bad overlooking C for this opportunity when they are more than capable." - Also understandable but should not be the deciding factor.

  • If B is still under-performing, you should consider his/her reason, but also suggest that the new project is a big risk. Find a compromise. Someone suggested dual roles.
I would recommend you look at your own motivation for giving to C though. Are you worried about the outcome. (Not that this isn't relevant.) There are a few Qs you should ask before making a final decision.
BlueJava · 09/10/2018 18:03

I'd give it to C without a doubt. B hasn't proved they can do it successfully and hasn't worked at that level for a while. C has worked hard and shown they can do many/all aspects of the role and is motivated to do it.

What HR seem to want to do is give B something that she can't do then put her on a performance improvement plan and thereby manage her out the business. But that will shaft your project.

PineappleTart · 09/10/2018 18:03

Take the illness out of the equation and no way would you consider B. Had B decided to do what projects they had been trusted with and proactively wanted to help others with their projects (as it appears C has done) you would be looking to give them the project.

Spookytoast · 09/10/2018 18:06

Sorry everyone. Today has been manic. A’s manager suggested that C takes on a supervisory type role over the project and delegates items to B (sort of like A does). This was well received by C as it is a more senior type responsibility and looks good on them, but went down like a lead balloon with B as they’ve been in the role much longer!

OP posts:
Spookytoast · 09/10/2018 18:08

It was left at that at the end of the day. B isn’t in a position to refuse and hopefully they will demonstrate their own ability and C will be able to demonstrate some good leadership qualities.

OP posts:
BakeItLikeBeckham · 09/10/2018 18:23

B is being really unreasonable. They have been off long term sick with stress and have been given a less stressful role, I take it on their usual pay, whilst they get back in their feet. Now she thinks she should be given the top project when she is not even performing at the lower level. You would think she wouldn't want the stress.

The managers proposal sounds like a really good option. If people are off sick they can't expect the world to stop turning around them and for others not to move up the ladder due to their own merit.

B is probably going to try and bring some grievance about this. Make sure all the paperwork covers the decision.

UpstartCrow · 09/10/2018 18:31

I have a long term health problem and in this scenario I would be B.
I think B is taking the piss. B cant work at full speed and can't self motivate.
Your managers solution sounds like a good one. Losing C would not be in anyone's best interests.

searose · 09/10/2018 18:34

I have just read through this and it is very clear the correct solution has been reached.

RangeRider · 09/10/2018 18:47

A £ says that B will be awkward and refuse to do half of what's asked because 'I've been doing this longer', C will get really pissed off & end up doing half of the work herself, A's manager will tell C to sort it out because 'that's part of being a supervisor', C will get really pissed with A, D will hate coming to work with such an atmosphere and will find a new job, C will follow suit, A will have a nervous breakdown because she's left doing C and D's work, plus most of B's and her own, B will carry on doing bugger all and will claim to be too stressed to do anything else.
And we'll all be here waiting for the next instalment!

pollymere · 09/10/2018 20:01

HR should be caring about C and D leaving. They're obviously under huge pressure for B not to use them for constructive dismissal. I assume B couldn't be moved sideways into a different role not with A's team. C deserves the project with B being encouraged to take on some of Cs current workload. Say you don't want them to find it all too much so would rather they take things gently.

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