Splitting assets after a split

[Greenkit]

Facts

My husband and I have been together for nearly 30 yrs

We have three children 29/22 and 20

We own our own 4 bed home, worth about £350 and just under £100.000 to pay on the mortgage

We have three dogs and a cat

We both work, I earn around £26.000 and he earns £40.000

His father owns a house, paid out right which is worth £350.00 and will be split between husband and sister when he passes (I love my FIL and so I’m not wishing him to pass for a long time, he is 86yrs)

We have our own cars

We have always paid the house bills/mortgage down to middle. I have always worked, even when the children were small.

When we got on the house market, we bought our first house off my mum for about £10.000 less than it was worth; one was because we couldn’t afford more and two it was a little something for me to start us off.

Right, I don’t love him anymore and have suggested we split, what is a fair way to divide the assets and would I be entitled to any of his inheritance when his father passes, if so how much?

I haven’t added any feelings in the above post, so may come across and cold hearted.

Misread, ignore me 🤦

After 30 years, I wouldn’t worry about each little bit. Just split it 50/50. Inheritance is not guaranteed and should not be a factor. Future pensions should be taken into account. Those should be a 50-50 split as well, so if his is bigger, you should get a bigger split of current assets now.

If all your kids are adults I would go for a 50 50 split, keep it civil

It is ‘t that simple. The marriage was a long one. Pensions need to be considered. One would expect the husband has a considerably bigger pot than the wife given the difference in salaries. Any time out of the workplace also needs to be considered - the OP at least has three maternity leaves and there could be additional al caring responsibilities which have had an may be reasonable but without CETV figures, I wouldn’t agree to anything.

I know that, hence the ‘ before and after the word ‘gave’. The OP clearly feels as though her mother essentially gave £10k towards their first house and is angling to get that back 30 years later.

It sure does seem pretty tawdry to me.

So your husband wants to defraud his sister out of part of her inheritance? So sorry, OP, but you seem perfectly suited, both of you have an atrocious attitude to money.

Blue I assume it's the husband's Father who "wants to give her less" because she drinks. Though it sounds irrelevant still. It's nothing to do with OP.

It sounds like you want to fleece him for everything he' got

It’s extremely grabby and in poor taste to go after his df potenital inheritance!

Yes - this is what my ex tried to claim - had it as one of his questions in his questionnaire - how much I might inherit .

The fact of the matter is that potential inheritances are not considered in divorce cases because they are just that - potential - anything could happen. The only time they might be considered (my divorce solicitor told me) is if the person whose property it is is literally on their deathbed. Even then, unless it was vital in terms of paying for housing for both parties, it would probably be set aside for the heir and ring fenced, because that money was never part of the marital pot.

It should be a 50:50 split taking pensions into account you may get more equity.once you separate,even if your files dies you would not be entitled to any money.(I can't remember the points of law or cases
this is based on but I was in this situation).
You need to see a lawyer before you move out and talk to your husband about the mortgage or selling the house.You also need to get an estate agents value on it.

Why don't you just go the whole hog and get your father measured up by the undertaker whilst you look at the coffin linings and handles catalogues, while you're round his gaff you could also get an estate agent in and stick post it notes on any pieces of furniture you like the look of.

Father = father in law

50/50 on your tangible assets. Your mum’s gift isn’t somehow protected - it’s part of the joint assets during marriage.

Pensions need to come into it if there’s disparity - You can either take a greater share in the assets now, or keep an interest and draw income on his retirement. (Presuming he has the higher pension. A friend was gobsmacked to learn her ex was entitled to more of the house equity than she was, despite their earning difference, because she has an amazing pension.)

FIL’s money - you have no right to this or for your husband to give you more in expectation of his inheritance. It’s off the table, utterly. A mediator or solicitor will tell you it’s not factored in, beCause your husband is not guaranteed to receive it - care costs, predeceasing his father, housing market fluctuations, will changes, etc. Pursuing this would be distasteful and grabby.

you have no right to this or for your husband to give you more in expectation of his inheritance

Sorry to go on about it - it was exactly this that my ex thought might happen - he tried to then claim that my Dad’s house was partly in my name (to be fair, my Dad was at one time going to do this, but then decided not to), and still believes this to be the case. Was saying in court that he would feel bad making my Dad take the stand (the property is abroad so proving ownership is more complicated - though my Dad had already provided paperwork with his name on it). It still annoys me that my barrister may have believed my ex.

It may be more than 50/50, taking into account earnings and other familial contribution

30 years ago, and coming from a generation where divorce was far less common, your mother probably intended the £10K reduction as a gift to you both as a couple. That’s what I’d say if I were your husband’s lawyer.

You need to look at your pensions.
I know you earn less, but it isn’t necessarily the case that his is worth more - or at least not proportionally more. OP could have clocked up many years Service in a non contributory FS scheme, vs her STBXH not always contributing to a DC scheme. You need to get CETVs.

You didn’t stop work when you had kids and they’re all adults now. If you genuinely think that as a couple you agreed career choice that disadvantaged you, then talk to s solicitor.

I say forget the inheritance, include the pension and go 50:50. It’s a shame you always paid half on a lower salary though.

I think you are going to have a hard time with regard the gift from your mum. However I would try to calculate it out as a 'share' of the property as yes £10k in a £350k property is not much, but if it was £10k in a £40k property which you then sold for £100k - so in investment terms the share is then worth £25k, carried forward to the next move etc. It depends on how many ,moves you have made and how much of a share of the equity of the current house you think it is as to whether I would pursue it.

And realistically whether you can live reasonably on a 50:50 split taking into account pensions given a 30yr marriage isn't going to leave you a lot of earning time left in the scheme of things.

I know it looks and sounds grabby, but I just wanted to ask the question re inheritance...duly answered many thanks.

Re Pensions - I don't want any of his, I guess it would be bigger and he wont have mine.

Re House - My eldest daughter is moving in and will pay rent, we also have a lodger, so he will be fine with the bills

I am moving in with my middle daughter who has just split and tied into a 6month rent contract so I am going to help her out.

After that I think a 50/50 split is best

Thank you for the positive and helpful replies

Littleowl

And realistically whether you can live reasonably on a 50:50 split taking into account pensions given a 30yr marriage isn't going to leave you a lot of earning time left in the scheme of things.

All I want is a two bed flat /house, where I can have my dogs and space for the grandson to stay now and again. I will continue to work for as long as I can, I work 31 hours a week, mostly weekends so could get a second job if required

I was going to say it was wrong to go after the inheritance but I’m glad that you’ve already accepted that - unusual for this forum - so well done