To ask for opinions on house parties

[Partynights]

We are looking at options for parties for DD's 18th.

DH thinks we should have a marquee / tent thing, which would fill the entire garden, and have it at home.

I think, given we live on a bog standard housing estate where everyone's gardens are back to back, it's too loud and not fair on the neighbours so we should just fork out for a venue.

Who is BU?

[Secretsquirrel101]

DH is being completely unreasonable, you’re absolutely right, it wouldn’t be fair on your neighbours. Anyway 18ths nearly always get out of control so id argue it would be ill advised to host at your home!

[tessica2]

I think it depends who will be there

My 18th was at my parents house with a marquee but was mainly family and a few friends (my bday is summer holidays so many were away) and was quite a quiet affair with cake, food, lots of chatting. We had some music inside the house but not loud

If it had been lots of people and lots of loud music then I probably would have opted for a venue to prevent annoying the neighbours and also to have a fixed finish time so everyone needed to leave at a certain time rather than hanging around all night

So hard to tell, if you think it is likely to be loud and rowdy then maybe a venue is better but depends who the guests will be :) and also what sortof party your daughter wants to have

[Notcontent]

It really isn’t fair on your neighbours unless you live in the middle of nowhere.

[HostessTrolley]

We were unable to find a venue for our dds 18th. The local halls etc will not take bookings for 18th/21st parties. Pubs round here that hire out function rooms will ID guests and give out wristbands at the door - DD is one of the oldest in her friendship group and 17 year olds are generally not interested in drinking lemonade at a party.

It’s hard.

[Notcontent]

Just to add, I had my 21st birthday party at my parents house about two decades ago, but it was a quiet affair with some food and drinks for family and friends (no music) and we finished up at about 10 pm. No one got drunk. Very different to the kind of house parties people have now.

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Neighbours had an 18th in marquee in garden - garden about 30ft wide. Music, but they kept it reasonable. Invited us and the neighbours the other side. It was a mixture of family and friends as far as I could see, so relatively sedate by 18th birthday standards (although everyone seemed to enjoy it), but garden looked special with decorations and fairy lights.

[Partynights]

Thanks - I'm glad most people agree with me that a suburban garden isn't appropriate for a loud garden party.

Now to convince DH!

[MrsStrowman]

I think if it's a one off, music goes off at a reasonable time and you let your neighbours know in advance it will be ok. Our neighbour across the road did all of the above and invited us and a few other neighbours. We didn't go as we had plans but music was off by twelve and turned down after eleven. I don't think it's entirely unreasonable if handled well.

[SadieAB9]

I think it's fine as a one off and sounds super fun for the teens - house parties were always much more fun than parties in musty church halls or community centres or something! But weather-wise,being outside might not be great!

[Oysterbabe]

If it's going on past 11pm you need to hire a venue.

[MotherofDinosaurs]

I'm slightly perturbed by this mumsnet thing where its not OK to throw the occasional party at your home.
As long as youre not a total knob about it and have rap music blaring at 3 in the morning, it is completely fine to have a party with lots of friends at your home. Because, y'know, you can't expect absolute silence from the people who live around you. And not everyone wants to shell out for a village hall with no ambience when they could spend the extra 100 quid on booze from Aldi. I say crack on with the house parties, invite the neighbours you like, and turn the music down after 11.

[greendale17]

I think it would be nice to have it at home. Just keep noise down after 11pm

[CottonSock]

I wouldn't mind if my neighbours told me what time it would end and stuck to it

[Wheresthel1ght]

Honestly a venue is likely to be cheaper than a marque anyway. However, seeing as the party is for your dd, would it not be wise to ask what she wants before you plan it?

[BusterTheBulldog]

I wouldn’t mind this at all, several of our neighbours have had parties over the years, it’s just normal life surely?!