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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have Christmas lists ready in October?

83 replies

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 20:55

‘For budgeting reasons’ (whatever that is) my in laws want to start their Christmas shopping and have messaged asking for Christmas lists. In October.

Our children are older so I don’t have to think of things exactly (though I do usually have some thoughts) but again it’s October, so the subject of Christmas hasn’t even come up yet.

Should I be sitting the kids down now to make Christmas lists/ideas? I think they’d be thinking or things for the sake of it at this stage just so in laws can tick them off.

Why do some people do this? It really sucks the joy out of it and turns it in to a chore. Why does it matter if i get back to them end of November/beginning of December? They do all their shopping online anyway!

OP posts:
Hidillyho · 06/10/2018 21:34

I’m crap at saving so I start planning Christmas early.
I also spend too much which isn’t helped by starting Christmas early 🙈

reluctantbrit · 06/10/2018 21:34

We also get ask for a list, I think it is very sensible especially as in our case the grandparents live too far away to know what DD has or is interested in (they are in their Eighties so lost a bit the “what’s in” vibe.

I try to keep some ideas on an Amazon wish list with things I think DD May like if asked unsuspecting. Otherwise I think anything before beginning of November is far too early and takes the idea of ?christmas away.

Perfectly1mperfect · 06/10/2018 21:35

No they haven’t

Glad it's not just me who thinks this !

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 06/10/2018 21:41

Tbh I start buying in September so can understand your in laws mentality

MicroManaged · 06/10/2018 21:41

Most people have already purchased the majority of Christmas presents, so am surprised you haven’t even thought what your dc might like yet

By the beginning of October? Get away with you.

I do always know what to get someone though...Birthday/Xmas for one of the dc or others.

I have a constant running list in a (locked) memo in my phone. Every time someone mentions something they like/enjoy or I have an idea, I make a note under their name, all year round. Then I update/delete from the list as it gets bought.

I have a few things to buy for dh for Xmas that he mentioned in a random conversation on holiday in March!

I’m not organised at all with lots of things but this makes life so much easier.

Topseyt · 06/10/2018 21:42

Very few people have bought most of their Christmas presents by now. Don't talk bollocks.

I hate Christmas shopping and do most of it in late November and early December. I cannot be arsed before then.

AjasLipstick · 06/10/2018 21:45

You sound awful tbh. Obstructive and mean.

If your children can't think of ONE thing they want at this point, then there's a bit of an issue.

Possibly that they already have too much.

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 21:46

Interesting that no one thinks in laws are unreasonable for not having ideas of what they want to get but I am unreasonable for not having ideas to give them. So essentially I have to do twice the work...Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 21:48

Haha I’m awful! Yes very good.

I haven’t asked the children because it’s October!

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 06/10/2018 21:49

No thats not it. Ask the children to make suggestions on what they want.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 06/10/2018 21:49

If someone is on a budget they may buy little and often through year and that might be why they are finished by now. If you are well off you might not be able to understand it, but might be way it is.

HolesinTheSoles · 06/10/2018 21:49

Interesting that no one thinks in laws are unreasonable for not having ideas of what they want to get but I am unreasonable for not having ideas to give them. So essentially I have to do twice the work...

Surely they're just trying to get the DCs stuff they'll really like? Since you live with DC they probably think you'll know best what they want (or can ask them?). Unless you're super busy it just doesn't seem like that much of an arduous task for me, seems sweet of the in laws. If you really hate it - can't DH deal with it?

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 06/10/2018 21:50

Especially if ppl buy through sales in year.

AamdC · 06/10/2018 21:50

Well as you say some people cant afford xmas all at once i sometimes start in august its all very well having a xmas bidget but sometimes things come upand money gets spent if i jave already bougjt some presents tnat money cant be put to something else can it?

NoooorthonerMum · 06/10/2018 21:51

I haven’t asked the children because it’s October!

Can't you just go and ask them now? Surely their tastes won't change that dramatically in the next two months?

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 06/10/2018 21:52

Also some ppl use november/December budget to buy treats in terms of food.

TatianaLarina · 06/10/2018 21:53

Ive done about half already. I don’t like leaving it til December as there’s so much other stuff to do by then. And then you start buying shit because it’s that or nothing and worrying about the post.

Namechangenumber57 · 06/10/2018 21:53

MyDC ‘Most’ people have NOT finished their Xmas shopping by now.... I don’t know a single person who has even started it....

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 21:54

They do always get things they like, because I do give ideas and they buy them. No problem with that. The problem is the October and I haven’t put a list together yet! That’s my AIBU? Do you all really have children sit down in October to make Christmas lists?

I’ll also point out, this isn’t a MiL/FIL thing, this is multiple in laws asking me.

OP posts:
TheGirlWhoLived · 06/10/2018 21:56

Smyths toys catalogue came the other day, dd’s both picked things I’d already got/ already thought of (to be fair it’s mostly lol, unicorn and glittery shite) so it’s fairly easy to bang out a couple of ideas and then keep your own close to the time?!

Topseyt · 06/10/2018 21:56

I wouldn't have a list ready by October either so I don't think you are unreasonable not having one.

I suppose though, that that doesn't make the grandparents unreasonable for asking for ideas.

My parents never ask for ideas, preferring instead to send money (a cheque) which is to be spent on the whole family.

Get the kids to email over a list of ideas each.

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 21:57

I think I’ll just say amazon vouchers. They’re happy. I’m happy. Dc will be happy. What a joyless process though.

OP posts:
Myimaginarycathasfleas · 06/10/2018 21:57

It makes perfect sense to me. They want to buy presents one at a time so they can knock them off their budget and adjust if necessary. If they save the money up and buy at the last minute they run the risk of getting their calculations wrong.

They’re consulting you because they want to buy your DC something they (and you) will appreciate. Better than getting some last minute tat you then have to find a home for.

People do things differently. It looks like their hearts are in the right place.

DN4GeekinDerby · 06/10/2018 22:03

I'm terrible at coming up with ideas when other people ask and I'd find it very frustrating if people asked for exact links to things unless it was only a very specific item (thinking my teen and his accessories at this moment, he wants this one particular jacket in this colour combination because his reasons, I'd need to use a link for that sort of gift).

I asked mine what is at the top of their wishlists a few weeks back. Certainly not close to being done shopping but I like to keep an eye out so tend to ask them on regular basis (alongside my often repeated phrase of "I'll put that on your wishlist" when they ask for things). Plus, a couple of mine are into monsters so October is a good shopping time for them.

It is hard with two of mine having birthdays pretty close to New Years (when we give gifts) but I just try to get them to give me more 'top items' than my kids born closer to the middle of the year. Hasn't worked so well this time, only one really has a list while the teen just has a couple of pricey clothes and accessories they want while the younger ones seem to just be copying each other and others to the point I'm not entirely sure what they want and what they're winding each other up with right now so going of the things they've asked for before they found out I'm looking at holiday shopping. One of them is a November birthday and it's a bit frustrating.

moonlight1705 · 06/10/2018 22:05

I think you would hate our family....we have a google spreadsheet that everyone fills in gradually over the year so we all know what people want. Grin

I've found great gifts that are on sale in September that I couldn't justify buying full price in December so that's why I try and get an idea early.