This is my first AIBU post so be kind.
I've been with my DH for 28 years married for 20. 1 DD who's 11.
It's always been a volatile relationship we've had some humdinger rows over the years. Sometimes I look back and wonder how we've survived.
Things got trickier when 5 yrs ago I was diagnosed with cancer which was treated but the side effects took their toll and physically our relationship has not been there. The cancer came back last year and this time it's terminal. I was given a year last November which thankfully seems wrong as I'm pretty well at the moment. However the stress and worry had had a massive impact on us all.
My DH drinks. He always has but it seems to be getting worse. His first job when in from work is to crack a beer. He drinks pretty much every night and more at weekends holidays etc.
He admits he drinks too much but won't accept it affects his mood and behaviour. But it does. He's constantly cranky. I feel like I tread on eggshells and I never know what mood he's going to be in. He can be fine and then I'll say the wrong thing and he'll turn and tell me I'm having a go( when I'm not ) He can't bear anyone else arguing though? If I bicker/tell off our DD I get told to stop shouting. He won't generally back me up.
This week had been the worst for a while culminating in him waking up after being out last bight moaning that we were shouting. ( we weren't just talking loudly as in different rooms) he then swore said he works all week and is fed up with shouting. I did point out it was only him shouting and it's not my fault he's got a hangover. It was almost 10 am at this point and I'd been up since 7 with the dog. He shouted some more and went back to bed. I've not seen him since ( it's now half 12)
Financially I can't afford to move out and he will never go. The mortgage is in his name so it's his house he says.
I feel trapped and I don't know what to do. I've tried so hard over the years and we've had much worse arguments but this week seems to have pushed me over the edge and I've had enough.
Sorry for the massive post and thanks for reading.