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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be finding work colleagues a bit annoying?!

10 replies

Homemadehomes · 06/10/2018 11:43

I am on a City law grad scheme and there are about ten of us in different year groups, mainly loud confident boys but a couple of girls.

I make an effort with my year group but not a huge one - I’ll go for lunch with them a couple of times a week, but they like to go every day and do everything together which I find exhausting.

They are ok but I feel like I constantly have to be “on” when I’m with them - they are extremely confident and very close knit, which I find intimidating, and the girls are always extremely glamorous and well turned out, again which I find intimidating. I sometimes feel like some of the boys will make more of an effort with the girls they really fancy which I find a bit tiresome - we’re colleagues, we should all be capable of making a bit of effort?!

I also sometimes feel like I’m always asking questions and trying to be witty etc - they respond back in kind but I feel like I have set a precedent where that’s my role, the peacemaker, the one who tries really hard to make conversation. It would be nice if they initiated it too!

I don’t know, I’m just exhausted, I went on a night out with them yesterday and while it was fine just ended up feeling worse today and when I left, I’m not sure why I bother! I can be fun and chatty and sociable when on form, I’m attractive enough, I male a really big effort, I don’t understand why it’s this hard?!

OP posts:
Homemadehomes · 06/10/2018 15:37

Bump

OP posts:
SweetHummingbird · 06/10/2018 15:42

Stick to doing what you're comfortable with and don't worry too much about what they're all doing, remember your reasons for being there.

Maybe they're not your kind of people, but that's ok so long as you can all be civil - it's not a rule that you have to do everything they are doing. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon! X

tempname111 · 06/10/2018 15:47

I wouldn't bother spending that much time with them to be honest. Maybe once a month to show face etc.

I'm known as the odd-ish one at work because I don't go to work doos and don't have anyone from work on my social media etc. Far simpler to keep the two separate. I hear enough about work when I'm there never mind when I'm not!

EvaHarknessRose · 06/10/2018 15:51

Presumably networks are important in your business, so this is work, effectively, though networks outside your year group are probably worth more investment?

Homemadehomes · 06/10/2018 15:56

I just find it hard because I’m very sociable and normally really don’t have an issue with making friends at work (which I know isn’t the norm) - also, I don’t really like my job anyway and am looking to move in the next 1-2 years, hence why I don’t really do much (drinks etc) networking at all... maybe I should as I definitely get on with others better

OP posts:
LongSummerDays · 06/10/2018 16:02

Boys and girls? Are you at school still?

Homemadehomes · 06/10/2018 16:08

Well no but it feels like that sometimes - everyone is early to mid 20s. What do you want me to say - ladies and gentlemen?!?

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 06/10/2018 16:34

Men and women?

Bobbiepin · 06/10/2018 17:01

Have you not thought that if you have the job you might not get along with the people who actually like it? There's no pressure to be on all the time, just keep to yourself and get the job done.

StealthPolarBear · 06/10/2018 17:11

This is work though. They re your colleagues, they don't need to be your bet friends.

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