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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel a bit miffed?

10 replies

sadkoala · 06/10/2018 09:53

DP works in a tough sales position and has been away for 2 nights this week on a work event thing, he got back late on the 3rd night which meant I looked after DC's and did betimes for 3nights on my own. DC's are 3yo and 9mo.
I'm a SAHM so I do all the night shifts with the baby due to DPs long hours. I also work 2-3 hrs in the evenings after DC's bedtime in our home office.

Last night DP came back late from training (his hobby) and the baby had a really bad night as he's got a bit of a cough so after doing everything I can to make sure he's comfy and fed etc I would let him cry it out for 10-15min spells just so I could get my head down as my back was aching. DS sleeps in our room so it was disturbing DP as well who got up once in the whole night and patted DSs head for barely a minute and went back to bed. He kept asking if we should just take DS in bed with us as it'll be easier - I said no as we did that with DS1 and it was terrible and created a rod for my own back.

This morning around 6am DS1 came into our bed and DP was visibly knocked out and sent him downstairs after getting annoyed at his fidgeting and disturbing him and said he'll be down in a minute. He then went back to sleep and after a while DS1 started crying downstairs asking for Daddy so I came down and set him up with his morning milk and a cartoon and tucked him in with a blanket on the sofa ( I was whacked too) and went back up and then got up with DS2 when he woke up. As I was getting dressed DP mentioned taking them both for a walk and I said that's ok and then he mumbled something which I didn't really hear and didn't acknowledge - not great but I was and still am a bit of a zombie, DP then mumbled again and I said "what?" After which he huffed and said nevermind and turned back around to go to back to sleep.

We're all up now and I made a simple breakfast and DP is obviously in some sort of a huff which he will most likely deny if asked about.

AIBU to be confused about why he's like that and miffed about his piss poor attitude?

OP posts:
sadkoala · 06/10/2018 10:09

And apologies for the lack of paragraphs I'm on the mobile app

OP posts:
Holidayfromreal · 06/10/2018 10:25

He's not pulling his weight by the sound of it. Have you spoken to him before about him getting up on the weekend with the kids?

sadkoala · 06/10/2018 10:45

I'm not fussed about him not getting up at the weekend or whatever it's just his attitude this morning.

He is now actually getting around to do some DIY jobs that he's been putting off and clearing some of his crap from the kitchen back to his office where its supposed to be which makes me 100% sure he's in a mood as that's when stuff like that gets done 😂

OP posts:
Bitsnbobb · 06/10/2018 13:28

Maybe he meant YOU take them out for a walk...but I wouldn't anyway.. You both need sleep fair enough but you have them 24/7 and without a break to do hobbies. It can get this way allowing it to happen by letting dh have a lie in and getting up early with the kids etc because we're caring but by doing this you are neglecting your own needs and health. ( I've done it) just ignore him. If he brings up whatever again clearly state that you're doing more than your fair share!!

Bitsnbobb · 06/10/2018 13:30

Also..fair enough he works hard in his job but so do you. Just cause you're a SAHM just means you're not going 'out'to work. You are doing far more imo. Childcare cleaning cooking laundry admin. And nightshifts.

glintandglide · 06/10/2018 13:33

He’s tired. So are you. It happens, young children are stressful and exhausting. I would just forget about it, get on with your day and plan an early night for everyone

papaoomama · 06/10/2018 13:35

Yes my husband does this with the passive aggressive cleaning/doing house jobs too!

sadkoala · 06/10/2018 15:18

So I just got on with it and carried on as normal with minimal interaction, he fixed a few bits and bobs that needed doing and mentioned not being with it today then went off to help out a friend with DS1 and I got a text saying "youre sexy when you're angry" ...
What am I even supposed to reply to that?!

OP posts:
papaoomama · 06/10/2018 15:47

Put, "I'm even sexier when I'm not. Try not pissing me off?" Grin

Sterylmeep · 06/10/2018 16:05

Maybe he wants you to put your foot down more and dominate him? Confused

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