To think that most gifts for adults are a bit crap?

[thereareflowersinmygarden]

Most adults can buy little odds and sods that they want. Like a fiver for a pair of earrings etc.

Just thinking that almost every gift we received in the last few years has been while a lovely thought, a bit pointless? Just stuff to clutter up. I lived out of a rucksack for years (by choice) and find having loads of stuff very annoying!

Considering having an adult gift amnesty in our family this Christmas.

Yes to this, especially anniversary gifts when you have to try and find something appealing in copper or tin, but actually you would never give any of these things houseroom if someone two hundred years ago hadn’t written a list saying that’s what you should be getting.

I think it is possible to buy nice, cheap (sub- £5 or £10), wanted gifts for most people, but that requires time, imagination and a fairly good knowledge of their lifestyle/likes. Most of us don't have that for most people in our lives, sadly.

I sort of agree. But for my 50th birthday this year I got a cheque from my parents and a box of chocs from my assistant at work. Nothing from anyone else.

It would be nice to even get some tat to show someone had remembered.

I went away for the weekend with my sister (we each paid for ourselves) and she 'forgot' to bring my card and 'couldnt think of' a gift.

Christmas we all do too much though (I go to my sister with my adult niece and nephew), but I am going to try to cut down this year and might make a consumables only rule.

I agree.

Some people are brilliant gift givers. They get just the right thing and obviously have the time and head space to carefully consider and go shopping for gifts. I have neither. Sometimes I wish I did but it just never happens and so it always feels awkward when people buy me stuff.

Honestly, what do you get for an adult that’s well thought out, something they wouldn’t just buy for themselves and is unique every single bloody year?

I usually receive things that the giver likes or thinks I should have/wear etc too. It’s really frustrating. And then I have to have it cluttering up my home all year or have to wear it at least once in their company because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.

I’ve recieved some god awful tat from my parents over the years. Proper tat that I can’t believe they actually paid money for!

I had to knock the ridiculous system I fell into with my sister on the head - she gives me a high st gift voucher for £10 and I give her the same. What’s the point!!!

I honestly prefer spending time with someone, having a phone call, going for a meal or day out and generally being warm, cosy and loving rather than giving/receiving stuff.

In terms of vouchers, I think cinema vouchers have always gone down well with teens and young adults.

Years ago I got a £10 Google voucher. I have an Android phone but I literally have no idea what I might buy with it.

I think YAB a bit U. There are some lovely gifts available for adults.

However, a lot of people do just buy tat that isn’t that well thought out. I tend to get loads of Disney stuff and wine given to me. I am not 6 and I don’t drink so generally don’t benefit from gifts given to me at birthdays and christmasses. I put ALOT of thought and effort into what I get people. As I say there are beautiful gifts out there if you look hard enough and really consider who you are buying for as opposed to picking up a generic 3 for 2 gift set in boots or deal on a case of wine.

I’d agree with a PP poster about gift experiences being great. My parents are pretty well off and have all the nice gifts they need but have always worked so hard that we’ve not spent much time together. A couple of years ago when I’d exhausted all gift giving options I started looking into more gift based ideas. I’ve started doing things like booking a train trip down to London with show tickets or a gig and overnight stay. The memories are wonderful and it’s a gift we all enjoy and prefer to be honest. I’ve had friends buy me vouchers for beauty salons which have always been really valued too. Even a £10 voucher can get you a file and polish or spray tan but I tend to have a facial or massage with the voucher if it’s a bit more or I put some money to it. I really appreciate it. Vouchers for Debenhams, M&S or Boots can be used for high end products like fragrance or skincare or more practical stuff like food, day to day toiletries or basic clothing so they can be a good option for most people.

My pet peeve is the £5 novelty secret Santa that goes round a lot of workplaces (including my own). I see it as such a waste. You spend a fiver on a piece of tat that usually ends up in the bin straight after. I’d prefer we all put a fiver into a kitty and used it for something that would benefit us all at work. Clearly I value experiences over things!

Obviously I meant experienced based ideas not gift based ideas ^

Totally agree. I thought exactly this when I saw all the shelves and shelves of boxset tat in Boots the other day.

Absolutely. We now just do gifts for kids with a token something for the adults in my family.

This year I've made sloe gin and I will make ILs a little hamper with that, and some foodie treats I know they love. I know it'll get eaten and enjoyed, maybe with friends.

DH and I set a spending limit.

I love vouchers as it always feels like a treat to spend "free money" on something lovely. One year I bought a gorgeous vtowel bale in the sales with one. I still use and love them. Dull as shit, i know nobody buys towels as gifts but really appreciated the voucher to do so.

I'd like a new hoover for Xmas too. That's how low I've sunk 🤣

Completely agree. MIL (biggest culprit of pointless tat gifts!) shared the Martin Lewes video on FB the other day, so I seized the opportunity to raise the issue of Christmas gifts for adults and mentioned how I'd rather only buy for children and save money that could be spent on a meal or day out together instead. I've got my brother and sister on board already. MIL has already bought this year's gifts (we do stick to a £10 limit) but said maybe next year.

I'm so fussy about 'stuff', even if I ask for something specific it is usually wrong and I hate surprises. I'd much rather not receive anything! Though I do like opening presents... I will often buy/choose my own gifts from DH and then get him to wrap them!

I actually love getting shite for Christmas 🎅🏽 scented drawer liners, lavender bags, candles, smellies. All stuff that's a waste of money but i do want and use. Not body lotion though, please no more! I confess that I regift all body lotion throughout the year to people who i know are also secret regifters. The same body lotion probably goes round and round in a never ending circle.

MissMarple I would LOVE new towels for Christmas! Totally agree about the free money thrill of vouchers.

Also on the fence on this one.
People with big families do tend to be burdened with gift giving, and there is obviously a lot of tat out there. Now I hate clutter as much as the next person, but as a single parent with no extended family I really treasure the small gifts from the ds’s and a few thoughtful friends. Things like chocolates I like, my favourite shower gel, furry bed socks (I had moaned to ds1 that I needed some!) I would also appreciate the much maligned charity goat though!!

I also have a drawer that unwanted gifts go in and then use them as my donation for school fetes, which saves me buying something specifically for that, so I still appreciate them!

I gave up doing Christmas 20 years ago. I was spending a fortune and getting either money or junk from other people. Or nothing. I spend my money on things I wanted instead. If I buy people birthday presents they tend to be books or consumables. I don’t have a problem with toiletries though, EXCEPT any I get as gifts are unlikely to be a good as the ones I buy myself as they are my pet extravagance.

I haven't been given nor have I given a gift in 20 years.
What's the point? Why spend £20 on a gift for someone they don't want and one given to me I don't want?
Spend the bloody money on yourself for a thing you want! Or, put it in a savings account or buy a bloody lovely bottle of wine and share with friends.
Xmas and birthdays without gifts are significantly more joyful without the landfill and faking excitement at yet another plastic piece of shite, hive inducing toiletry, crap book or dust gathering 'ornament'.
Why people continue with this fake sentimentality is beyond me.

That why I am asked what I would like as a gift. So I choose something I actually would like to have and then will use accordingly.

It served me well over my lifetime.

I have pointless presents and so have stopped them with my brother and have been trying to with BIL. Dh's aunt and uncle make a donation to cancer research and we do the same for them. From family i usually get things I actually really want or need like books, boxed sets, specific make-up or a new purse/gloves/slippers. I can't afford to buy these things as and when I need them. Also gin and wine. And chocolates.

But no to body lotion (psoriasis), random bits of costume jewellery, scarves, picture frames, etc.

To be honest, I would do away with most present-giving.

I put a lot of effort into ensuring our family doesn't over use plastics. Bathroom and kitchen now nearly plastic free. Reusable bags for shopping etc.
To then see the aisles of 'gift' shite at Xmas in shops knowing people buy this crap for people who don't want it is bloody depressing.
Stop giving into the marketing. If we stop buying it they won't make it!

I don’t think gift giving is a waste. If you really know someone it’s not that difficult to think of what they would like and it shows that you care and appreciate them. I always get rubbish from people, they obviously don’t like me very much haha. However, when I do get something good I always treasure them. It’s rare for someone to get me something nice and I always end up getting sentimental about it

I don’t really like getting gift cards, unless its for a shop that I can treat myself in. I don’t see the point of getting one for a shop that you’re going to buy from anyway.

My two friends have put a stop to gift giving for both birthday and Christmas. They used to always give a joint present only because it’s cheaper and cos the other one gets the other friend to buy it as she’s hopeless. I always put so much thought into their gifts. It’s sad because I don’t have anyone to exchange presents with. Yet I know they they still give their other friends gifts!

I agree OP, I'd say the vast majority of gifts we get from people go to charity. I struggle to feel guilty about it when you can see how little thought has gone in some of the time (chocolate for vegans, clothes in the wrong size, books you'd never read etc).
It seems like most people think they are great at gift buying but receive rubbish so I long ago accepted that I too must be deluded and people probably dump what I give them too even if I think it's very thoughtful .
I think the thing is as adults, unless you see the person very frequently and go into their home and spend time there, you probably don't know what they like, or what they use-you only know what they used to like years ago or things they mention in conversation which could've just been polite chit chat.
Gift vouchers is the best way but people always want to get a gift don't they, for their own reasons!

Edibles, drinkables or cold hard cash are the only gifts we give to adults.
We always get a big fat cheque from our rich relatives at Christmas, that's always welcome.

Of course 80% of clothes end up in landfill. Everything reaches a point where it's completely worn put and no longer functional. The days of making rag rugs are long gone.

I've had some awesome presents. Soap, candles, chocolates, champagne, flowers, scarves, socks. I thi k you can see a theme here. Small and consumable.

Butterfly:
“If you really know someone it’s not that difficult to think of what they would like and it shows that you care and appreciate them. I always get rubbish from people, they obviously don’t like me very much haha.”

But you don’t actually know whether someone loves your gift. Most people just smile warmly and say thank you, and give some compliment about it. Unless it’s a piece of clothing which you then see them always wear, how do you know they genuinely like it?? How do you know they’re not saying on some online forum somewhere “oh Dfriend clearly puts some thought into her presents but they’re just not exactly me/I don’t like the smell/doesn’t quite fit/suit me so I always have to give them to charity”