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Original poster

To think this is not mindfulness?

23 replies

cactushack · 05/10/2018 22:22

My dh came home from work today asking me if I'd heard of mindfulness. I said yes, it's some kind of meditation technique and he said "yes, I did it for the first time tonight" I asked what he did and he said "everyone was going to the pub after work and I though no, I don't want I actually, I want to go home, so here I am"

We've argued back and forth about whether this was mindfulness or just making a normal decision.

OP posts:
Benandhollysmum · 05/10/2018 22:24

Lol think he wants browny points in the hopes of some rumpy bumpy the night for his mindfulness for you

Dottysmum18 · 05/10/2018 22:27

No this is not mindfulness , but I can I understand why he thinks it is
He think he has has a choice and made a thoughtful and conscious decision and believes that this counts.

Ohyesiam · 05/10/2018 22:27

Well I suppose you could say that if you cAlmedypur mind you would be more in touch with how you feel and what you need. And he could say he realised that he wanted to be st home.
Or he could be trying to impress you.

speakout · 05/10/2018 22:28

He may have been mindful of your feelings, but that is not the same as mindfulness.

Different things.

Wigeon · 05/10/2018 22:30

Does he think mindfulness = thoughtfulness? I don’t think what he did is mindfulness at all. It’s about thinking about the immediate moment, focusing on now.

Original poster
cactushack · 05/10/2018 22:30

He seems to genuinely think he's become a mindfulness guru.

OP posts:
JamPasty · 05/10/2018 22:31

""yes, I did it for the first time tonight" - this is the first time he's not gone with the crowd but instead thought of wanting to come home to his wife?!

I'd take the piss out of him for that, nevermind his incorrect use of the term mindfulness!

CherryPavlova · 05/10/2018 22:32

It’s certainly mindfulness as my children were taught. It’s about being present in the moment and understanding your feelings at the time - so when walking to work, appreciating the changing colours of the trees or when watch television with your spouse thinking about how comfortable that feels.
He was mindful in that at the moment the suggestion was made he stopped, reflected on what he was thinking and understood what he was feeling about what he wanted to do.

Onlyfamandclosefknow · 05/10/2018 22:34

He was being mindful, not practising mindfulness. He's no Kabat Zinn.

Original poster
cactushack · 05/10/2018 22:35

""yes, I did it for the first time tonight" - this is the first time he's not gone with the crowd but instead thought of wanting to come home to his wife

No he's not acting like he's done me a favour, much more like how @CherryPavlova describes

OP posts:
JamPasty · 05/10/2018 22:39

What I meant was that as well as being wrong and by the sound of it smug, he's also implied that this is the first time he's thought about you rather than the pub of an evening. If he wasn't even thinking about you, but he he felt, then he's being a wrong, smug tit

JamPasty · 05/10/2018 22:40

ie, WTF have you been thinking about before if this was the first time you've thought of me - cheers mate, not!

gothefcktosleep · 05/10/2018 22:41

Bless him.

PenelopeChipShop · 05/10/2018 22:41

Am I the only one who thinks that sounds quite cute? He thought consciously about a decision and wanted to share it with you!

Reaa · 05/10/2018 22:46

I would say he meant, instead of following the crowd, to the pub, like he normally would, he decided, that he actually wanted, to be home, with his wife, for an evening instead.

SpoonBlender · 05/10/2018 23:06

Neither of you are right! It's not a meditation technique, and it's not deciding to do something you want rather than following the herd.

I'm not going to go into what it is because there are a million online and book resources and it's late and I'm recovering from general anaesthetic :)

InspectorIkmen · 05/10/2018 23:32

Hi understand mindfulness to be very moment check as CherryPavlova says in her post.

I quite see why your DH feels the way he does - clearly he's not ready to become a guru quite yet 😂😂 but he's made a start and that's a good thing.

InspectorIkmen · 05/10/2018 23:35

Oh for fuck's sake. "Moment check" = "much as"

Damned fool autocorrect on stupid kindle 😵😵

VerbeenaBeeks · 05/10/2018 23:45

Mindfulness is being present in the moment, listening to your body/your mind and it's needs.
His experiences sound perfectly plausible, I've felt them myself so bit Sad for people to dismiss them.
He came home. Instead of going to the pub. Employed mindfulness and listened to himself. What's not to like?

Original poster
cactushack · 06/10/2018 07:25

His experiences sound perfectly plausible, I've felt them myself so bit for people to dismiss them.

I'm sorry, I wasn't dismissing them, me and dh were just having a bit of a jokey argument about him suddenly deploying mindfulness at 5pm whilst almost on the way to the pub.

But you're right, he stopped, thought "do I actually want or need to do this?" and decided he didn't so that's a good thing isn't it!

Turns out I know nothing about mindfulness anyway.

OP posts:
NorthernRunner · 06/10/2018 07:29

Whilst I think he has confused thoughtfulness for mindfulness it’s really endearing that he did this, I would be quite touched if this was my husband.

JayDot500 · 06/10/2018 08:32

Yes he's right! That was mindfulness! It's not a meditation technique.

happinessischocolate · 06/10/2018 09:21

Good for him

But would it also count as mindfulness if he'd stayed in the pub all night because he thought about it and decided each time he bought a pint that this was really what he wanted to do and where he wanted to be 😂😂

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