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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was my ds bu for punching him

16 replies

LOL7 · 05/10/2018 21:20

My sister was at a gig yesterday, the band is popular enough to tour Europe so the gig was very busy, but they are not famous. My sister has been to a lot of their gigs and is quite friendly with them. She was chatting to one of the band members near the stage after their performance, and a man approached her and her friend from behind and groped them. The man put his hand up my sisters skirt, felt her bum and between her bum cheeks and her vagina. She told the band member what was happening who immediately jumped back on to stage to get a member of security. While he was doing this, the man still didn't stop and my sister turned and punched him hard in the face. The man was then thrown out of the club.
I have told my sister to report the man as there was cctv and it happened to her friend too so it's not just her word against his, however she is reluctant because she doesn't want to be charged with assault for punching him, so thinks she should just forget about it. Of course it's her choice and I will support her, but would she be charged for that, or would it be classed as self defence?

OP posts:
garethsouthgatesmrs · 05/10/2018 21:39

no she absolutely must report this, he will go on to do this to others. theres no way she could be in trouble for self defence and its on cctv which is rare. please try and encourage her to, your poor sister

Thesmallthings · 05/10/2018 21:45

Your sister won't be charged at all. It will looked at as self affence.

She went even get a talking to.

BIgBagofJelly · 05/10/2018 21:47

I don't agree with physical violence in most situations but I would consider that self defence. That many was sexually assaulting her and she did what she had to do to get him off.

Saltandsauce · 05/10/2018 21:49

Good for your sister for punching him!!!
She needs to report it, she won’t be in any trouble for punching him, it’s self defence!

Hidillyho · 05/10/2018 21:51

Self defence. She won’t get charged!
She absolutely needs to report this

Stompythedinosaur · 05/10/2018 21:54

That is completely defensible!

AynRandTheObjectivist · 05/10/2018 22:10

Yes she was unreasonable. She should have kicked him in the groin as well.

Benandhollysmum · 05/10/2018 22:13

Are u joking people? Pervs n the likes get away with everything and her sister will probably get done by the cops, that’s how it works you should know that by now

Shoulda ripped his dirty arm off

Onlyfamandclosefknow · 05/10/2018 22:14

It's easy to say but I'd like to think I would report that too if in her shoes.

BegoneThots · 05/10/2018 22:15

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ImNotUseless · 05/10/2018 22:17

I was ready to say he (I thought it was the other ds) was u. But your sister wnbu at all. She was sexually assaulted and defended herself.

That man will get bolder and bolder until he is prosecuted.

Gabilan · 05/10/2018 22:18

I'd be going back decades now but when, as a teenager, I punched a teenage boy who was beating me up, the police weren't bothered at all about my actions. Entirely self defence and when you're the weaker and more vulnerable one it's not a problem.

That's not to say she should or shouldn't report it - just that she shouldn't worry they will criticise here for what she did.

ImNotUseless · 05/10/2018 22:18

When she tells the story she should just say ‘I lashed out in self defence’ . don’t give a jobsworth a foothold.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/10/2018 22:19

Self defence.

annikin · 05/10/2018 22:19

I read the title and was about to reply about there being no excuse for violence except in self-defence. Then read the post. Not unreasonable at all for your dd to do this, entirely self-defence. Good on her!

BoomBoomsCousin · 05/10/2018 22:19

That would appear to be classic self-defence - unless she set on him and continued to hit him after he'd turned away or was unable to continue to grope her.

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