To worry that my daughter is so far behind where my son was at the same age?

[Hoardernomore]

I didn’t realise how much difference there was but I came across my son’s nursery assessment at 3yrs exactly and he knew all numbers 1-20, could touch count to 10, was having a good go at writing his name, and knew shapes - not just the main ones but semi circle, crescent etc as well.

Dd is 3 in three months time. She can just about count to 10 by rote and can only touch count to three. She knows no numbers by sight. She knows the main shapes and colours but that’s it. She is no where near writing her name or even any letters in it. She is much much much slower to pick things up that ds was.

I hadn’t realised before how young ds was when he picked stuff up. He’s y5 now and bright but not super bright. Probably only slightly above average in most things although very good at maths.

Aibu to worry that dd seems so slow to learn things? Ds I taught him or told him something once and he’d got it. Dd not so much...

Every child is different and develops at different rates.

YABVU to compare them

I would think it's because you spent every minute talking to him, showing him colours, counting with him etc as he was your PFB.

You just don't have the same time with subsequent children.

She'll probably be exactly the same as him by the time she gets to school.

Yes this ‘Every child is different and develops at different rates.’
My eldest was premature so slow to do most things so far. Can’t belive how much my 8 month old can do already. I wonder if second children come on quicker as they have someone to copy or if it is actually just innate.
Either way they all get there eventually - some just take the scenic route. I wouldn’t worry unless you think there may be significant delays.

It's hard not to compare but until you saw these notes your weren't worried right?
Kids are different and they pick stuff up differently. It doesn't sound like DD has any learning difficulties so don't worry.
They have long lives ahead of them where they'll each shine at their own thing, do you and them a favour and stop yourself from comparing

Also 3 months is a long time at that age. She'll probably be closer by the time she is actually 3.

My dd1 is miles upon miles ahead of dd2 based on things like this. Thing is she's not. It's just that as my firstborn she has a lot of time and effort in to her, which 2nd child didn't have, partly because I couldn't be bothered and partly because I realised it's pointless. I am fairly confident dd2 will end up doing better in her exams than dd1.

Was he exactly 3 or 3 and some months at the nursery assessment. Months make a big difference at this age.

There's actually a broad range of what's considered "normal" for development.

For interest, you might google the Denver II Child Development Assessment. It shows the range of "normal" for the achievement of skills.

Maybe you spent more one on one time with your first?
But agree with there. Everyone's different, both in development and aptitude.

They all get there eventually - some just take the scenic route

Lovely way of putting it!

My DS was never particularly ahead as a toddler at the moment he's very ahead at reading and maths and a little behind socially. I expect (and hope) that in the coming years he'll catch up socially while his peers are catching up in other areas.

Please don't compare your children. All children develop at different rates. Development is holistic and some take longer than others.
I say that as a child care professional having years of experience with children as well as studying childcare.

I would think it's because you spent every minute talking to him, showing him colours, counting with him etc as he was your PFB.

^^this

also there are children joining reception who can't count to 10. Her development sounds normal. Stop comparing them.

He was your first and you had more time to teach I reckon! Makes a difference.

My youngest was actually further ahead academically compared to my first. But my first was much better physically. They have different strengths - it’s not all about academia.

DS1 was a brilliant talker, reader, thinker. He's almost 6, in Year 1 and really struggling because he has ASD traits he should be flying academically but has loads of barriers to learning.

DS2 is 28 months and doesn't say very much yet, but I can already tell he'll find school far easier, despite being less 'advanced', just because he has 'normal' reactions to situations and is very easy going.

Yep. Every child is different. My eldest was extremely behind and didn’t really speak properly until he was 4. (Neither did his father and he’s an engineer now). He’s top of his class in everything now, miles ahead in reading. My middle is a little late talking (very good at motor skills though) but my youngest is very early talking and they’ve had the same environment so it’s nothing I’m doing.

Have you checked if she is left handed, that can delay writing. Just make sure you give her lots of stimulation, books, toys crayons. Make sure she has lots of opportunities to find her strengths. Also some children are just very relaxed and laid back.

YABU....

My eldest knew the alphabet by 2 and a half could count to a 100 by 3. At 6 he is ahead of all his class on reading and maths. He can do nental maths too...middle child is nowhere near this quick. However eldest has asd. So trying to basically say developing fast isnt always the be all and end all. They develop at their own rate.

All children are different. You can't tell the future with a 3 year old child. I taught a girl in Year 4 last year who came up from Year 3 really struggling. She was nearly 2 years behind in Math, Reading and Writing. I just saw her Year 5 start of year assessments and she is now slightly above the middle of a (bright) cohort. She matured, started to listen and engage properly in lessons and really put effort in all year. Give your children time.

YABU. All people are different. It's not fair on your DD if she's going to be compared to your pfb all the time.