I apologise but I really need a rant as I am currently extremely upset and now at the end of my tether.
I have been having issues with MIL since the birth of my (now 9 month old) baby. Some of the things she does on a regular basis are:
Comes into my house without knocking (but she has arranged a visit) and doesn't say hello to me or acknowledge me in any way. A few months ago I timed it and it took her 21 minutes to say anything to me whilst in MY house and when I was approx 4 ft away from her the entire time.
Not feeding my baby when she took her out for a 4 hour walk when she was about 4 months old, but making the time to take lots of selfies with her whilst sat in the park.
Makes what I call "snarky" comments about me to my baby "Oh but mummy says you can't do that" etc.
One time when we went out for lunch I met them after work and she had arranged the table so I couldn't sit next to my child and then proceeded to hand her around to other family members like a toy doll. (The family members hadn't met my baby before and had come to meet her).
She often refuses to hand my child back to me (A few weeks ago in the shop she said holding my child was hurting my back so I said I would take her, and went to go take her off her and she turned away and said "No, I'm fine!")
Last night she came to spend the night as my partner and her were/are taking my baby to Aus for a week to visit family. I didn't want to go with them partially due to the cost as me going adds a couple of thousand dollars to the trip and we have just bought a house and partially I couldn't stand the thought of having to spend a week with her, slowly driving me insane. I wanted my partner to take our baby to see the family though as I feel it is important that they meet her and some of the family are too frail to travel overseas to come see us.
Last night, when I came home after work, I said hello to her twice, both times she blanked me.
She kept trying to distract and play with our child whilst I was holding/playing with her. (I wanted to spend some quality time with her before they went.)
She spent ages dithering at the dinner table at dinner time as she blatantly wanted to take my seat at the table next to our LO, until my partner told her where her seat was.
She spent ages fussing in the the baby's room when it had been made clear it was her bed time and the lights needed to be out and we needed quiet until my partner blatantly told her she needed to turn the lights out.
She asked me "is this the longest time you would have been away from LO" (which she bloody well knows it is!) to which I replied, "well, yes, most mothers don't leave their children for any period of time this young at all..." (as in maybe some gratitude would be nice as you are getting to spend a whole week with your grandchild and taking her to see YOUR family?) to which she then promptly ignored.
I tried to involve her in the packing by asking whether she wanted me to pack shoes for LO and what ones to which I just got given snarky rude comments back.
And to top it all off and the specific thing that has upset me the most. This morning when I was tucking LO into the pram and saying goodbye she stands right behind me and starts trying to distract LO and says things like "Are you going to wave to Nana?" "Come on wave to Nana!". I am so livid. She is my child! I just wanted to give her a cuddle and a kiss and say goodbye and she couldn't even stop being so rude and insensitive for 10 minutes!
AIBU to want some damn respect?! I try to be as nice as possible and polite. I have never hindered contact with MIL and LO ever. I have attempted to let her be involved throughout pregnancy and until now. My own mother has suggested that because of the snarky comments about me she makes to my child I should stop all unsupervised contact without me there. AIBU to severely limit contact when we get back? I am so upset that she could be so rude and treat me like this.
Thanks for reading, Sorry it is so long :(