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AIBU?

To think my 3yo is just clumsy and has no special needs?

16 replies

Larrythecat · 05/10/2018 16:14

My 3yo has started at a different nursery (school nursery). He's been in private childcare since he was 5 months old. He is full of beans and has no sense of danger, which means he will often fall or bump into things. He was in the pram probably for too long (until this summer), so now he has bigger spaces and the freedom to run around, he is constantly running and playing around. After school has said that he might have balance issues and to take him to the GP. I have done so and the GP couldn't decide because he took the assessment as play and was wriggling and dancing around as if it was his own show. GP said that maybe I could contact the health visitor if I was worried but that it could just be an active and clumsy 3yo. Everyone I have mentioned this (non-qualified neighbors and other people) kept suggesting a long list of SEN conditions that he could have and insist I take him for evaluation because such and such kid had such and such condition and it helped them.

I'm getting anxious because I never thought there was an issue, his previous nursery never said anything, his current teacher hasn't said anything and it's is just the after school that has mentioned. But then again, this is the first year that they accept 3yo children, when previously only worked with reception and above. I have no clue about SEN spectrums but these are some of the answers I had to give to people:

He's clumsy, yes. He doesn't look where he's going.
He doesn't have tantrums and is quite a happy chappy, always giggling and bouncing around.
He doesn't seem to have a best friend, he plays alone quite a lot when in nursery but would attach to his sister at home. He likes role play, blocks, cars, drawing and doll houses.
He doesn't have any special toy that he is attached to. He has about three favourite teddies but doesn't sleep with any and would play with them when reminded or during role play (schools, neighbors, parents, etc).
He is very affectionate. Very. But also independent. He would come suddenly for a cuddle and go back to his game.
He stills doesn't speak clearly. He makes sentences and had a wide vocabulary but he would slur some words.
He eats well, everything. He very rarely refuses any food and would try everything on his plate. He struggles a bit to eat with cutlery, as in he starts well but half way through he is trying to use his fingers to push something into the fork or something.
As far as I know, he doesn't have issues with any clothing or fabric.
He is good with numbers (counts to 23 easily and recognises them individually). He is ok with letters, he's been playing on the tablet her sister's phonics app and is trying to learn some, albeit I'm not sure how much he actually gets.

I don't know what to think. To me, he's just average. Good at some things and not so good at others. I can't remember for the life of me how his sister was at this age. She was also clumsy and I remember she didn't really make sentences until she was two, and now is well within the expected-exceeding areas of the curriculum. But I can't pinpoint the rest. I think they are the same, with my son being maybe more "bouncy". He's always singing and dancing to stuff, copying cartoons such as "Bo on the go" and "Team Umizoomi", which have lots of physical activities to copy. He runs off and doesn't conceive danger, I have to tell him he's going to go on time out or lose a star on the reward chart for him to come back, all whilst giggling and find it funny.
I don't feel exhausted by him or overwhelmed. He's just got lots of steam and I expect I'll have to put him in sports club when available, to burn off some of that energy. However, 90% of the people I mentioned the comment from the after school lady have told me a long list of possible conditions he might have, and told me to file a form for him to be treated and for me to get support. AIBU to think I don't really need to worry and although they are well meaning, they might be projecting their experiences on my son?

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Pickleypickles · 05/10/2018 16:27

I was the clumsiest child on the planet (still am really) I could fall off a chair sitting still quite literally. I had so many accidents my infant school called SS because they didn't think one child could simply fall so much! I have no special needs I'm just very clumsy.

If you are happy with his development, have no other concerns etc then I would just leave it personally.

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KitandPup · 05/10/2018 16:30

My daughter has SEN and consequently I constantly spot "signs" in other children, quite possibly where there are no issues if that makes sense..?

Your DS sounds absolutely fine to me. If he has been in the pushchair until recently then of course he will be a bit clumsy. Maybe just keep it in mind should anything else concern you later on.

I personally think we don't take enough notice of our intuition about these things. I "knew" something was off with DD very early. I think you would probably be worried if there was anything to worry over IYSWIM.

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HighwayDragon1 · 05/10/2018 16:30

They're probably thinking about dyspraxia, it doesn't usually come with sensory issues as it isn't ASD

www.nhs.uk/conditions/developmental-coordination-disorder-dyspraxia/

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LIZS · 05/10/2018 16:41

There is a huge range of overlapping traits which may or may not comprise a SpLD. Agree with above poster re. Dyspraxia - look at the Dyspraxia Foundation website for age appropriate skills and how to support development. Ds has Dyspraxia and the learning support he has to assist self organisation and touch typing have proved invaluable. He met many early milestones, was a placid and engaged baby/toddler but the issues became more apparent when he started school.

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Larrythecat · 05/10/2018 17:19

Thank you for the link! He definitely presents some of those, but it would be an absolute 'no' with other ones. He was an early walker and loves stacking blocks, but he doesn't pay attention to instructions (unless you bribe him or threaten him to remove stars from the chart). He's very good with the ball, my husband says he dribbles at football with both legs and that that's something to foster... But then when he walks or runs he just doesn't look where he's going and would bump into things. I wasn't concerned, but I feel a seed has been planted!

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SloeBerries · 05/10/2018 17:26

My feeling at 3 I’d sit on it and watch and wait until 4ish (still able to go to under 5 teams if need be). TBH my dd does have asd and balance difficulty, diagnosed at 3.5 but I can’t say it changed our world knowing/ not knowing really.

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Marriedwithchildren5 · 05/10/2018 17:54

You've just described my nephew. He's now 5. I've lost count of his falls. Hospital visits. Zero sense of danger as in jumping off the top of the slide.

He's still full of fun and an accident waiting to happen. But he now has a sense of danger. He now knows to be careful on his bike etc. I really wouldn't worry.

Ignore the comments. Everyone is an expert at diagnosing it seems! Hmm

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Amortentia · 05/10/2018 18:04

I think it’s a case of just seeing how he progresses, children develop at different rates. One think I would suggest if you haven’t done it already is to get his eyes tested. I’m extremely clumsy but have terrible vision.

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Dobbythesockelf · 05/10/2018 18:05

In the last month my 3 yr old dd has fallen off the bed while rolling on It, tripped over while walking through the door and somehow flipped onto her back, nearly walked into a lamppost and tripped up the step into our kitchen about 5 times.
The reason for all of this..... She doesn't look where she is going and talks so much that she forgets to concentrate on what she is doing at the time.
She's clumsy. So was I as a child and I grew out if it. I wouldn't worry too much.

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Duckherding · 05/10/2018 18:09

Did the GP check his sight? DD was is very clumsy, was checked regularly sight wise until she was 5, at that point she was discharged as clumsy

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youarenotkiddingme · 05/10/2018 18:11

You have no concerns and already have a child. So for now I'd just watch.

But I also wouldn't dismiss others concerns especially as there's so many. It's possible he has some delays but delays can be caught up.

Also don't put too much scope on walking age etc. My ds walked fairly early and say etc. He still has CP and a fecked up central nervous system and autism 🙈

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HappySpade · 05/10/2018 18:13

Doesn't sound like anything other than a clumsy adventurous DS and like my DCs at that age. If you can, try putting DS in a gymnastics class. Gymnastic classes are an excellent way of teaching running, jumping, balancing, etc. at this early stage of life. It really helped my DCs with their gross motor skills. Although, DD 8 hasn't entirely grown out of her clumsiness and occasionally falls off her kitchen chair; it's mind boggling to see this happen.

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Embracethechaos · 05/10/2018 18:22

I was always clumsy and have terrible handwriting and bad spelling and mental maths but a reasonable reader. I was assumed dyslexic and got minimal extra support at school and was assessed definitely dyslexic and mildly dyspraxic at university. I didn't have trouble socialising, was a bit shy but had friends. My mum tried to get me assessed so I could get extra time at gcses as I was a slow writer but I resisted as I was in second set English and top maths and science. I think, if you don't need the extra support, don't get assessed. I don't think it's good to diagnose young in some ways, kids thinking their different or special.

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Conseulabananahammock · 05/10/2018 18:26

Some people are just clumsy.. I broke my nose once walking into a door frame... have also walked into lamp posts,stubbed toes more than I can count,fell up stairs again lots.. you get the picture. So people just have less spacial awareness .

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Catlady35 · 05/10/2018 18:45

My friend’s ds used to fall over a lot, he started wearing glasses when he was about 3 and became a lot less clumsy. Worth getting his eyes checked.

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hennaoj · 05/10/2018 18:54

Early number and letter recognition can in fact be a sign. My autistic 7 and 4 year old's knew theirs very early. My 7 year old never had any tantrums until this year, he couldn't get angry. He rarely gets angry now. You would only know with a proper assessment by medical professionals which could be a good idea if it is suggested as earlier intervention starts, the better.

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