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AIBU?

AIBU to dd?

12 replies

Pawprintjoy · 05/10/2018 05:14

Dd has had sleep issues for years with nothing helping her as of recently and have woken up to her crying because she hasn’t been able to sleep at all when she knew we had to be up early this morning for an appointment. AIBU to still let her to travel (1 hour 45 mins) alone this afternoon to stay at with her grandparents when she hasn’t slept at all? Dh is adamant I shouldn’t let her in case she falls asleep on the journey but it would ruin her plans for the whole weekend and she’s been looking forward to seeing all her old friends who live near her grandparents (we moved quite far away so she doesn’t get to see them very often).

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Pawprintjoy · 05/10/2018 05:15

(Have realised this may not make sense but my brain isn’t working properly this morning Grin)

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mediumbrownmug · 05/10/2018 05:19

How old is your dd? Would she be driving on the journey, or just riding? Honestly, if it were me, I'd probably ring the grandparents and push the time for her visit back by several hours so she could get some sleep before going at a later time. That way she gets some rest and her weekend isn't ruined.

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greenlynx · 05/10/2018 05:20

Yes, YABU, unless she travels on her own and it’s about safety. She doesn’t do this deliberately, sleep issues could be very difficult to overcome. It sounds like she will be punished twice for what’s not her fault.

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DittoNut · 05/10/2018 05:26

If shes old enough to travel alone she's surely old enough to decide for herself if she feels up to it or not? If its public transport call her 20 mins or so before she should be getting off to wake her up.

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AdoreTheBeach · 05/10/2018 05:27

Another alternative is to set various alarms on her mobile to go off a few minutes before needing to change trains so that if she dies fall asleep, she’ll wake up. These should be loud, annoying and with vibrate.

My DD had been falling asleep on the train and finding herself at the end if the line at night. You can imagine all the panic. This has worked a treat,

On another note, please go see the GP about this. Your daughter may need a referral to work through her anxiety - what is giving her insomnia. GP may also be able to give her something gentle - maybe melatonin to help her sleep. Do you following examples of sleep hygiene? Do read about it if you aren’t familiar with this term.

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Pawprintjoy · 05/10/2018 05:30

Dd is 15 and will get the train and tube, normally dh will drive her if she couldn’t get any sleep but dh is working late tonight and its more about her falling asleep on the train and missing her stop that dh is worried about.

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Pawprintjoy · 05/10/2018 05:40

Adorethebeach The alarm idea is clever, dd has had the same issues with falling asleep on tubes and trains at night and ending up in the opposite direction so I must get her to try it.

We’ve been waiting for a GP appointment but the waiting list for an appointment in our village is months long and I do feel sorry for her, shes often unable to get to sleep at all until atleast 6am and is up for school by 6.30.

Glad to hear you’ve found something that’s worked for your dd x

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greenlynx · 05/10/2018 06:03

Sorry just saw that she will travel alone, was probably half asleep when answering. Is she driving? At what time will she feel most sleepy after night like this?

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Aquamarine1029 · 05/10/2018 06:15

Why isn't she sleeping? Is she drinking caffeinated beverages at night? Does she go to bed with her cell phone? Have you tried a white noise machine?

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Pawprintjoy · 05/10/2018 08:48

Aquamarine1029
No caffeine, she’s gone caffeine free for the past year to try and see if it would help, everyone (including me and dh otherwise we’d never sleep Grin) in the house puts their phone in the lounge on charge before bed and she has 3 fans and a quiet music from iPod at night (the only way she ever falls asleep if she can), she seems to get tired really early and then by the time she gets to bed she’s awake again

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greenlynx · 05/10/2018 09:20

I would allow her to travel and will do a mixture of alarms and phone calls. We did this once when my DH travelled after bad night.

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TawnyTeal · 05/10/2018 09:21

Your DDs sleep issues sound depressingly familiar. I don’t want to project, but maybe have a read of Circadian Rhythm Disorder, and see if it fits with the symptoms and issues presenting. A few tips that have helped include no electronics (phone, tablet, etc) or blue-light emitting technology for at least 2-3 hours before bed, no tv in room, and white light (either from a light box or at least from unfiltered daylight) for about 1/2 hour in the morning. It is an attempt to reset the internal clock as it is out of sync.

When you get to the GP, if you don’t have any success with their treatments, ask to be referred to a sleep clinic. There are many sleep disorders, and the earlier they are managed, the better.

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