Background:
Me and DP have been together for 8 years. We have two DC together- DS aged 6 and DD aged 2. He also has a DD from a previous relationship who is 19
Me and DSD got on great at first- then when the teenage years hit, and she hit a rebellious phase, things went down hill. It’s the same with her Mum- she adores DP because he is a complete and utter push over with her because he still feels guilty that him and her mum split up despite it being 12 years ago and them always getting on fine.
We live in the house I brought before I met DP- I was in a very fortunate position financially plus my parents gave me a generous donation towards a deposit so have been mortgage free since before I met DP so have never ask for anything towards rent (naturally) and all other bills are split 50/50.
DSD ended up moving in 6 months ago. I’ll hold my hands up and admit I was reluctant to let it happen- she’s mixing with the wrong crowd, had my suspicious she was taking drugs then (I’ll come to that in a minute) and she was disrespectful enough being here one night a week.
Since being here she has never done her own laundry, never washed as much as a cup and has never once helped out with her younger siblings despite when she first moved in us going easy on her over getting a job and DP paying for a car for her (which he brought from new less than a year ago and smells like gone off beer, there’s cigarette burns on the roof and is just generally disgusting inside.) I bit and bit my tounge to keep the peace.
Anyway 3 months ago she finally got a job. I told DP I wasn’t arsed about doing her laundry and cooking her meals but she needed to be financially responsible at least and contribute towards the house. I said £50 a week (keeping in mind she was being paid £200 AND having her car insurance/tax paid for) to cover contribution towards bills and groceries. This caused a major argument and we finally settled on £20 a week and her buying her own groceries.
But this has been abused- when I do a big shop for me DP and the kids DSD will help herself to the food we have brought for us, meaning I have to do a top up shop thus causing us more money.
She will stay out until all hours and make a racket coming in (literally won’t even try to be quiet, will turn lights on rather than using the torch on her phone despite me and DP telling her to) meaning at least twice a week either me or DP are up at 4/5am with DS at least which isn’t great if it’s a school/work day. She will say she is going out and say she will be back at a set time, not turn up then not answer her phone. She is unhygienic- will leave blood stained underwear on her bedroom floor for me to pick up, plates of food, will smoke in her bedroom despite the rule being she smokes outside or in her car.
For several weeks now she hasn’t been able to pay us her rent- and, as wrong as it is (I’ll hold my hands up and admit it)- I went routing through her bedroom and found a bag of marijuana and a wrap of cocaine in a box under her mattress. I’m livid.
She is out at work until 11pm. I’ve told DH either he goes and packs her bags and takes them to her work or I will be packing for both of them.
I can’t have her around my DC if she is taking drugs- I’ve seen it first hand and it isn’t pretty.
AIBU?