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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to change my wedding reception venue two weeks before the wedding?

33 replies

EcoCalc · 04/10/2018 16:47

Went for the final meeting with the co-ordinator for our wedding reception last night and had a bit of a nightmare time. This is the fourth meeting and we ended up going over exactly the same things as in the previous three meetings. Including confirming our names and the names of best man etc. The menu still hadn’t been finalised because they didn’t send through the details. They suggested the vegetarians eat round the meat, and they mysteriously added £250 to the cost of linen and napkins. Despite having previously quoted for the cost for our 60 guests they have said that the costs have gone up for catering and they will have to send us through a breakdown when they get it worked out.

Apart for the logistics of the day still being up in the air the co-ordinator was also quite snippy and impatient.

We have paid a deposit of £300 but haven’t signed a contract or paid for the meals yet. Would it be outrageous to move the reception at this stage?

I’m not all that bothered about the wedding so long as people are fed and have drinks, but I have a really horrible feeling about things now. I don’t know if it is last minute nerves swaying my opinion, but I came home last night and felt pretty terrible about the whole thing.

Should I just get on with it and hope for the best?

OP posts:
Pebblesandfriends · 04/10/2018 16:50

I would start looking for a plan b but don't cancel until you have something

BikeRunSki · 04/10/2018 16:51

They sound terrible. If you can find somewhere nearby who can have you, I would change. BUT, it needs to be near. Your guests will have booked hotels and taxis, which they will still need to use.

tinytemper66 · 04/10/2018 16:51

My cousin andhis wife had to change venue a week before their wedding and got a lovely venue.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 04/10/2018 16:52

Oh crikey! If you haven't signed and can kiss the £300 goodbye then there's nothing to stop you cancelling but what will you do instead? You need a plan B first.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 04/10/2018 16:55

When I read your title I though why would you want to and wouldn't that cause lots of stress, having to contact guests etc?

After reading your post I would say if you can find another venue and sort out catering with ease then go ahead and change it! Your current venue sounds stupidly incompetent and you are not going to be able to relax in the next 2 weeks or on the day for fear of them messing something else up.

I genuinely cant see how moving it would be any less stressful that what you have outlined above, I would get calling ASAP and see what else is available.

CurbsideProphet · 04/10/2018 16:56

Are there similar reviews online? I wonder if it's a problem with the venue being disorganised in general, or if the wedding coordinator is new etc?

Can you put all of the undecided / not agreed points in an email to the venue?

We've booked a venue for next year and will be signing the contract for an exact amount in the next few weeks. Have they not asked you to sign on the dotted line yet?

I wouldn't blame you at all for finding a new venue if you can. You want to enjoy the day, not be dealing with a grumpy venue and making sure everyone has the right meal etc.

Shadow1234 · 04/10/2018 16:57

Think I would rather lose the £300 and find someone who was more professional. (Doesnt sound like they know what they are doing tbh). Having said that, check out what is available first, because a lot of places get booked up way in advance.

Feellikeimthemaid · 04/10/2018 17:01

Wow! Two weeks is an incredibly short time to organise a reception at another venue. If you think you're up to that challenge then go for it, but don't cancel until you have your Plan B in place.

A quote is a contract whether verbal or written and could be considered legally binding. You should challenge them about the increases because if they thought that prices would rise in the time between the quote and the wedding date then they should have provided an estimate. Sounds like they are trying it on.

Angrybird345 · 04/10/2018 17:02

Give them a strict time/date in which to confirm all the details and think about a plan b in case. Have you looked st any t&c on their website as you may be liable...

Bubblysqueak · 04/10/2018 17:05

It's definitely doable. I was bridesmaid when friend changed their venue with 2 weeks to go.
They got a really good late booking deal at the new hotel too.
It was scary but change of venue cards were sent, and they didn't have a huge selection of food to choose from, but it was definitely the right choice.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 04/10/2018 17:06

Give them a strict time/date in which to confirm all the details

Lets be realistic if they have not done this already with 2 weeks to go are they really going to make the effort to do it if the OP gives them a deadline?

Longdistance · 04/10/2018 17:06

Plan b

Go down the pub for a knees up?

Bombardier25966 · 04/10/2018 17:10

A contract doesn't need to be in writing to be enforceable.

It does sound like a mess, but I'd be weary of finding somewhere else without trying to resolve the issues. It could be costly if the original supplier makes a small claims action against you.

Littletabbyocelot · 04/10/2018 17:11

I gave my reception venue the benefit of the doubt when our last meeting was totally disorganised (coordinator had been off sick). They made lots of little mess ups on the day - ranging from forgetting to play music as I was walking in (no biggie), forgetting they'd agreed to put temporary ramps in so my wheelchair using dad could access the room (a condition of booking and while they did sort it on the day it was shit for my dad while waiting) and not providing any vegetarian food on the evening buffet as they thought all the vegetarians would have gone home (they had the wedding breakfast table planner showing quite clearly that I - along with a third of the guests - were veggie.)

If I could go back I'd have changed. And if they are changing the terms and upping the price with 2 weeks to go I'd try getting my deposit back too.

mummymeister · 04/10/2018 17:16

If you really get your skates on and can find another venue and caterer then I would get going on this now. this is appalling. if they have taken £300 from you then they should have given you a written receipt and a proper contract. this would detail what you were getting, food, drink etc. most places build in a contingency in case prices change (because a lot of weddings are booked years in advance) as for saying that veggies can eat around the meat, that again is just lazy.

I would try and find another venue by the weekend at the latest. I would then write to the first venue clearly stating my concerns and asking for a refund on the £300. this is a real "cant be arsed" attitude on their part and I really wouldn't touch this venue with a barge pole now if I were you.

Hellywelly10 · 04/10/2018 17:16

I would not mind at all as a guest, as long as the new venue was close to the church.

noctu · 04/10/2018 17:23

Echoing other posters -
a) find and provisionally book an alternative, suitable venue
b) make absolutely flipping sure that you have not signed anything that makes you liable for costs, other than the £300 you've paid already
c) formally book alternative venue
d) inform guests ASAP
e) big sigh of relief!

(The reception venue isn't a hotel is it? Will guests be staying there?)

noctu · 04/10/2018 17:27

Oh and
f) tell the old venue to get stuffed! Grin

veggiethrower · 04/10/2018 17:27

You'd have to be sure they couldn't claim that you agreed to a verbal contract whereby they could later claim the full costs.

SleepWarrior · 04/10/2018 17:29

You've got to at least explore it or you might regret it for a long time. If you can't find anything suitable then you can resign yourself to current venue having tried your best.

And you might find a really good deal this last minute if there's a venue with upcoming dates they are looking to fill.

Knittedfairies · 04/10/2018 17:31

The vegetarians eat round the meat
What decent caterer says that? They on its own would set the alarms off for me.

zucchinicourgette · 04/10/2018 17:43

I'd change if I could, just based on their reluctance to cater for vegetarians. That suggests a world of incompetence to me.

Can you find somewhere else do you think?

I would be wary about your contractual obligations, but I would think they are on shaky ground trying to enforce a contract if they are also raising their prices. They are not sticking to the original agreement so why should you?

If you can find an alternative venue I'd follow up in writing stating the points that you're unhappy with and ask for the return of your deposit because they have increased the cost of the event and haven't provided a satisfactory service. If they say 'hell no and we'll take you to court for the full amount' then consider whether changing the venue is more trouble than it's worth.

Mibbley · 04/10/2018 17:43

^ Ditto.

Find a nice pub that does nice pub lunches and see what they can do.

SharkSave · 04/10/2018 17:45

What about your guests? Will they have booked accommodation etc?

MrTrebus · 04/10/2018 17:48

They do it all the time on don't tell the bride

Find someone nearby, haggle a lot and go for it! I'll get you'll get an amazing deal!