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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell my colleague

25 replies

wopbamboo · 04/10/2018 11:24

About another colleague on his team slagging him off to me?

I work in a tech env where we have teams. Work is sent to our teams to develop. Colleague a) does my job (product owner) and colleague B) does a different job (team manager)

I feel I have a natural affinity to colleague a as they do my job and I have lots of meetings with them (and generally I get on well with them). Colleague B not so much. I find him defensive and troublemaking and quite sneaky.

We have an internal messaging system and colleague B has randomly sent me a message saying that colleague A isn't doing his job properly. Made an allegation. But it was in quite mean/critical words.

I have investigated briefly and found this to be incorrect. But I am now in the position of wondering if I should keep my head down and not say anything or wether I should warn colleague A that colleague B is saying things behind his back. I feel that if he is messaging me about it he must be messaging others about it too (as I am not close to him).

What should I do?

OP posts:
PawPawNoodle · 04/10/2018 11:26

Stay well out of it on a personal level, you will be stirring the pot and will lose the trust of both people.

Report it to HR if you really wish to.

Thesexyskeleton · 04/10/2018 11:31

Don’t say anything to the accused colleague, just stick up for them if the topic comes up again.
As PolPotNoodle said, report to HR if you feel you need to do something.

Original poster
wopbamboo · 04/10/2018 11:32

We are a fairly small team too, so I think that if I did say something it would come back to me.

My fear is that colleague B if called out by someone else might say 'well Wopbamboo knew, I told her'

OP posts:
ektomarie · 04/10/2018 11:33

Tell colleague B he sent you a message about another person’s performance by mistake.

ektomarie · 04/10/2018 11:34

You’re not colleague A’s supervisor and don’t manage him so I would play that it was a serious mistake and the email was meant for another manager

SummerStrong · 04/10/2018 11:37

Make sure you gave a 'paper trail' noting that you received the complaint and investigated and.found the allegations to be false and that you have no concerns about their performance etc. I'd be quite factual and blunt and firm in your response (try to put an end to the trouble making)

If it ever comes back to you, you have all the evidence.

Don't tell him or get involved, that would be unprofessional.

Original poster
wopbamboo · 04/10/2018 11:52

No it wasnt phrased like it was meant for someone else, it was definitely to me. I think he thought that I was going to respond or agree! I responded in an 'oh really' way.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 04/10/2018 11:57

You need to distance yourself from this. the culture of gossip and sniping isn't something that you want to foster, or be a part of.

I would, personally report it higher up.

NonaGrey · 04/10/2018 11:59

I don’t uunderstand your confusion on this - tell your boss, it’s their job to deal with.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 04/10/2018 12:02

Do nothing. He is trying to involve you, resist. If you checked out the claims and were satisfied they were incorrect, others will come to the same conclusion based on the same evidence.

roundturnandtwohalfhitches · 04/10/2018 12:04

You say nothing to A. You send B a message saying you have investigated, found no issue and shut it down. You need to stand up to B because if he's like this you'll be next on the list. A 'you don't want to be fucking with me attitude' is needed - that includes backstabbing.

ADastardlyThing · 04/10/2018 12:06

God no! Prime example of workplace gossip which is really distasteful. Tell him to take it to the appropriate person and let them deal with it.

TheOrigFV45 · 04/10/2018 12:10

Why did you take it upon yourself to investigate the allegations?
That was not your job.

It's done now, but I would have replied to B saying "if you have concerns about A's performance please report to [line manager]".
Say no more, just that sentence shows B that you are being entirely professional and not engaging in office gossip/tell tales.

Keep right out of what B is messaging other people. Not your concern.

Molokonono · 04/10/2018 12:12

I'd screenshot it and reply telling him that I want no part of his smear campaign and if he sends one more message like this it will be going straight to HR.

YoThePussy · 04/10/2018 12:16

I would send the email to HR and say has come to you in error. Don’t warn colleague B, he sounds a twat and deserves what he gets.

Louiselouie0890 · 04/10/2018 12:21

Dont get involved. Message back if there are any problem direct your issues to the manager.

PlinkPlink · 04/10/2018 12:28

Be professional here.

Don't get involved. Don't confront B. Don't tell A.

What you do need to do is voice your concerns to HR or someone higher up. This is not acceptable behaviour in a work environment and ideas made you very uncomfortable.

Your management or HR can deal with this without telling A and by dealing with B by stating that his behaviour is unprofessional and should not be displayed again in the workplace.

Original poster
wopbamboo · 04/10/2018 12:33

I didn't do a massive investigation. He alleged colleague A hadn't done something, I was in the email trail with colleague A where he shared that exact piece of work (a report). So i think it is a smear, because it just plainly isn't true.

I have just a had a meeting with both of them on a different project. Colleague A confessed afterwards that colleague B has emailed our boss's boss saying he thinks colleague A should work in a different way. Copied colleague A in too, but hadnt told him about the suggestion of ways to change things up prior. Seems very pushy. Colleague A says he is worried colleague B is trying to get him disciplined. All very strange.

I still didn't tell him about the message, but I will tell my boss in my 1-2-1 this afternoon. I dont think it is fair, and I am not sure whats going on at all. Seems like colleague B is making a play for something.

OP posts:
BlankTimes · 04/10/2018 12:40

Colleague B wants Colleague A's job and is trying to get him pushed out/sacked.

Original poster
wopbamboo · 04/10/2018 12:42

Blank thats what I thought. Colleague B is a former project manager and now doing a team manager type role. I suspect he wants colleague A's job, so all I can do is tell my manager I think it was an inappropriate message.

OP posts:
Dontfeellikeamillenial · 04/10/2018 12:48

Has colleague b ever emailed colleague a about you, though? Is he a shit stirrer, in other words?

AppleKatie · 04/10/2018 13:16

Definitely tell your line manager. If you supervise neither A nor B then B is just shit stirring and trying to drag you in. The professional thing to do is just pass it up the chain factually.

MulticolourMophead · 04/10/2018 13:21

You say you're telling your boss in your 121, keep the evidence safe.

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 04/10/2018 13:29

Tell your line manager and forward the email.

Original poster
wopbamboo · 04/10/2018 13:40

Ok, I will tell my manager (who is colleague A's manager too BTW)

OP posts:
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