Has getting an ASD diagnosis been good or bad for you/your child?

[frazzledmum101]

I have finally started the process to get my dd a diagnosis for asd.

I am sure it is for the best really, but I am a bit overwhelmed by it all. I'm worried my dd will be 'labelled', 'othered', 'given up on'. I guess I am struggling to accept it if I'm honest.

If you have a diagnosis yourself or one for your child. Has it helped? Has it been a good or a bad thing in the long run? (Please be kind - I'm trying to do the right thing by dd)

Pork I really do get it - as an autistic parent of autistic kids I see fob offs left, eight and centre

We were fobbed off for 10 years from birth when we were told there 'may' be problems later. All missed milestones were countered with 'all kids develop in their own time' any unusual behaviour was countered with 'all kids are different' or 'they need to try harder'

It's rarely because of observations in schools, mostly I think it's because of the MNSN boards and threads like these that people have the opportunity to read parents' experiences of autism and other SN think hey, wait a minute, maybe there's a reason my child is different.

A that has asd will be labelled by others anyway.

Mine have been happier with, one incredibly so. She's happier in her skin knowing she thinks and feels exactly how she should because her brain is different.

They're both growing into it and it's a pleasure to watch them blossoming into their real selves. Yes, life is unconventional at home. It's different but just as warm and fun as anyone's.

Parents are damned if they do and damned if they don't. If you pursue a diagnosis for an atypical autistic child you are accused of making it up but if you don't you are in denial. A little knowledge is often far worse than acknowledged ignorance with teachers unwilling to listen to the experience of parents and the expertise of therapists and doctors.

I was seen to be both at the same time - DS1 was a masker - meltdowns at home but selectively mute at school whilst DS2 was a dream at home but a nightmare at school due to a complete lack of social desire to please which meant he ignored instructions and directions (the School thought he must be deaf).

DS1 has fared worse. Despite being told he was 'fine' at primary he really wasn't. He wasn't diagnosed until 11, m/s secondary placement failed, ss failed - he has been out of school since 14 - he is now nearly 18. Getting him to survive one more day is a constant struggle. It's not the diagnosis per se but the tribunal specified EHCP that means he has support through personal budget but it helps. It's not the reason he has weekly support from Camhs (they are called something else here) or PIP or ESA but it helps. I fantasise that things would have been different if he had been diagnosed earlier

But mental health is for life and so I didn't wait for things to fail for DS2. I didn't wait for him to develop crushing anxiety to prove need. Being autistic is not enough to warrant support 'because some autistic people are 'fine' without it and support makes you look different'. He's at internet school (paid for by PB) and thriving academically - his teachers post comments to him on his work saying that he could get an A** tomorrow if he wrote the same in an exam. He is 12. He writes pieces for English that his teachers think are hilarious observation because they assume he is NT. If they knew he was autistic and wasn't trying to be funny they would judge him differently.

DD assures me that she doesn't mask, it's just that nothing at school stresses her out.

I think ds masked at infant school. Before he was diagnosed I spent years teaching him to become comfortable with eye contact, he does it with ease now. I taught him not to flap - I see now from the community these are the wrong things to do - but you what I have no regrets. No one notices his autism and he doesn't want anyone to and I know you'll say that was me teaching him that his way was wrong, the rest of the world won't be so kind.