To not wanted to be told about his "nightmare"

[crispsmonster]

A colleague told me I was in his nightmare and in it I "decided to make a speech which bored everyone so much that they all left" which ruined an event he was planning. It sounded quite accusatory in the way he said it. Obviously this hasn't actually happened. And if I did give a speech about it, it wouldn't fucking be boring. It's my field of expertise. He wants help with this event but aibu if I told him to shove it? I'm busy enough with my own work. I'm tired and maybe a tad sensitive but to me this says what he really thinks about me subconsciously? For background, I am more senior than him though not his direct line manager. Have I read this wrong? I sort of made light of it at the time but the more I think about it, the more I feel pissed off. I wished I acted true to my feelings at the time.

It may be his fear expressing itself in the dream. His mind tied up you, speechmaking and his fear of the event failing. And of course, if he blames you, he hasn't failed.

I once dreamt that dh was unfaithful. He wasn't but I still felt cross about it the next day!

Forget about the dream - he’s an idiot for telling you about it. (I’ve occasionally dreamt about colleagues and would not dream of mentioning it to them.) I’m no psychiatrist but my dreams are always so bizarre I’m never sure what on earth to read into them. You might argue this guy feels threatened by your skill and expertise so his subconscious painted you in a bad light in the dream to make him feel better? When you’re feeling less sensitive (I make crap decisions when really tired) look at the practicalities of whether it is possible, given your workload, to help him. Then decide.

I dont see why he needed to tell you, and in your place I'd be helping him with fuck all. Leave him to his passive aggressive bullshit

Maybe his anxiety was suggesting if even you can’t make it interesting (Even though in real life you can) then he doesn’t stand a chance? It’s not about you. But his fears and anxieties.

Yanbu. What a weird thing to tell a colleague. I would tell him tomorrow you asked your friend who is a dream interpreter and she said it is a classic dream of anxiety based on his own weaknesses, and that by attributing the boring speech to you, it was his own anxiety talking and seeking to blame others for his own shortcomings. Don’t help then “the nightmare can’t come true”. Leave him to it, there was no need for him to mention it.

You should definitely kick off the speech with "(Colleague) asked me to make this boring so you all leave".

Ignore him - he's only told you because he's being an idiot because he's overstressed, trying to make light of a nightmare by sharing it hahahahaha except he can't tell it's not funny.

Dreams are weird (similar to your colleague). Last night, I dreamt Batman built me a walk in wardrobe. I assume it is a combination of having watched Justice League and a home renovation programme that day but who knows!

Thanks. You've all explained it so much better and in my anger I couldn't think through the mist. I won't confront him now but I definitely think some things are best left unsaid. One lesson I learnt though is that I should just speak up and stop being too polite. It's ruined my evening thinking about it.

...it's a dream. Someone at work told me the other day he had a dream where I was accepting fake £20 notes with pictures of Hollyoaks characters in place of the Queen and passing them off to other people. Does that mean he thinks I'm laundering money?

BumDisease, your post gave me a good laugh!

We all dream jumbled up stuff about people we know, things that are on our minds, stuff on telly and in the media. It means nothing.

While it's perfectly fine to have bizarre dreams (after all most people can't control them), he was quite inconsiderate to tell you about it, especially if he's trying to get you to help him. His anxiety is neither your problem nor your fault.
So yeah, I'd be telling him to shove it, tinkly laugh and everything - "oh Colleague, I'm afraid I can't get involved, wouldn't want to make the nightmare come true".

It’s a deeply odd way to approach asking a senior colleague for their help.

Insulting people - never a good thing.