Ok, so ds IS 18, nearly 19.
He is however, still in full time education and will remain so until June 2019. He worked part time in the summer and has earned a little bit of money which is his 'pin' money. He will get some more work over half term but that is it until next Easter (although he is actively looking for weekend work ).
His dad and I split 8 years ago at my instigation and it was not pleasant regarding financial matters. I left with virtually nothing but wanted to do this rather than drag out a horrendous divorce. I went on to buy my own property. Until the last few months, ds stayed approx 3 nights a week at his dads. Because it was (more or less) 50/50, I did not claim child maintenance. I received the child benefit and still do. I have always paid for ds's mobile phone and will continue to do so until he is in 'proper' employment.
Over the years we have generally gone halves on stuff such as school uniform/school trips etc. For the first couple of years after splitting he was a nightmare financially but then things improved with him going halves at my request.
However , in May, his dad informed me he was moving in with his girlfriend who lives quite a distance away. This obviously meant that ds would not be spending regular time at his. Deep down, it came as a bit of a relief for ds - ds had begun spending less time at his dads as his friends lived closer to us and he had obviously started getting his own life. He was happy to go to his dads but his age meant that his other stuff had started taking over.
Since moving, ds has actually seen his dad only a handful of times. A few weeks ago I text his dad and said I had bought some clothes that our ds needed and renewed his passport and would he go halves? He did, and also sent £100 to 'cover things'. I accepted this as a few weeks had passed since he had moved but at least he had sent £100. However, another few weeks have passed and - nothing. I guess I thought that at some point, he would contact me and arrange some form of payment even if it meant giving ds say, £20 a week for bus fares etc.
I KNOW that ds is 18 - but, due to being in education, to me, he is still a dependent. My gut feeling is that my ex is being completely unreasonable by paying very little since he moved. When ds did stay at his, it meant he would provide some meals, bus fares for college etc but now - nothing.
Does everyone else think this is wrong? I just can't get my head around it, as, if it was the other way around, I couldn't bear to think that I was contributing so little to my son's upbringing.