To ask what's it like to be a grandmother?

[Villainelle]

Just that really. I have a little boy, he's only 1. I can't imagine what it will be like if he ever has a child way off in the future. Everyone talks about the love you feel when you have a child but what's it like to have a grandchild. Do you feel the same rush of love? Does it almost hurt the way loving your child does? I imagine it's difficult to watch your child navigate becoming a parent too.

Like parenthood, it is probably different for everyone.

I'm a grandmother - both my children have two children.

I can only speak for myself - I was/am intensely in love with my children, it's like a hand that grips my heart whenever I see them. This has never changed since the first days that they were born.

When they had their own children it was pretty much the same feeling - a rush of love that has never abated. Their presence in my life is such a wonderful gift !

I'm fortunate that they live quite close, so I see the children often. I marvel at their developing characters - it's like getting the whole motherhood experience all over again. A chance to do things better this time around.

I agree that it's difficult to see your AC going on the journey of being a parent ! My son is a single father so he has had to deal with a horrendous relationship breakup as well as being mother and father to his two children. It was heartbreaking to have to watch that happen. I'm now the co-parent to his children so I see them every day and deal with all the practical stuff as well as enjoying being granny. My daughter is a workaholic and never seems to have much quality time with hers , so yes I worry about that too - worry that one day she'll wake up and realise that she has missed so much of their lives . But. I can't fix any of these things, just "be there" and show my love in practical ways like doing my daughter's ironing and picking the kids up once a week after school to hang out at the park.

I guess that I show love in practical ways, and always have. As my Dad used to say, love is something you do, not something you say.

I'd highly recommend grandmotherhood - I just hope I can continue to do it forever. Enjoy your little boy !

@stellabird you sound like an amazing grandmother

It's wonderful. To see my son being such a good father and partner brings me such joy. I feel blessed and so full of love.

I was a bit afraid when my dd told me she was expecting, I was worried that I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else as much as I love my dcs, but I am overwhelmed with the love I have for dgd, it makes my heartache when I don’t see her for a couple of days I also probably have more contact as my dd has a serious health condition & sometimes I have dgd for three/four days at a time when she is to unwell to take care of her, I also go over & help with ironing/cleaning etc.
I also have found, that actually I enjoy dgd more than I did my own in some ways, I find her development fascinating & also have so much more patience, than I ever had with dcs.
Today they came over & when I answered the door, she said hello nana I missed you, my heart just melts.
Apologies if I come across as a sickly, but I cannot even really express the love I have for her.

I am a gran to a 5 and 7 year old, and my other daughter is pregnant. I love having the grandkids to stay and I adore them!
I am still fairly young so am fit enough to run about with them, go to the park, days out and spend quality time with them.
I do give them sweets etc ( after I have checked with their parents).
I am much softer with the DGC than I was with their parents, but then I don't have them 24/7..
Its the fun side without the complete responsibility, cept when babysitting...

Im a new gran.The baby is only 2 weeks old.When he was born,i literally choked up seeing him for the first time.

The love i have for him is indescribable.There are just no words.

My son,his gf and gs live here.I do have to stop myself from always going in.But its really lovely

oops forgot to say dgd is 2.5

I can’t even find the words to express how much I love both my DGDs. I live a good 5 hours away so get to see them far less than I’d like. I miss them every day and treasure every moment I’m with them. I wish I lived near enough to babysit so DD& DSIL could go out more and just take a meal round for them all so they didn’t have to bother etc. I knew I would love any grand children I was lucky enough to have in my life, but wasn’t prepared for just how much I would love them. The oldest is 3 and the baby is 2 months.

I suddenly became a grandmother when Ds and DIl adopted 2 dcs. I ove them fiercly and because of all the associated behavioural problems DH and I have had to be more involved and supportive than we ever imagined.
We have to be completely led by the parents in our treatment of the gdcs, and it has been very hard, but when I go to pick up the younger one from nursery and he runs towards me shouting "Grandma" and flings his arms around me it makes it all worth while.

I had my 6 month old dgs alone for the first time this week while his mum was away and his dad (my DS) was doing his sport. It was a lovely experience, we got along fine and spent quite a lot of time gazing at each other. I think he's imprinted on me in the same way as my own children - something connected on a cellular level when he was born and now he holds my heart in his tiny hand.

It all depends on how you want it to be and how well you get on with their parents. For me, it is very rewarding and occasionally a lot of hard work, but only as much as I want it to be. I had my eldest grandchild overnight at least monthly from the age of 7 weeks, my second grandchild from 6 months. For the first 3 years of my first grandchild's life I spent half a day a week looking after them until my job changed and I couldn't do it any more. Our home is my grandchildren's second home, they know exactly what to expect here, they have some toys here and always their bedtime toys in their beds waiting for them. In return we have unconditional love and trust. (And sometimes tantrums and moods, but that's just normal). I love my grandchildren to bits, but in a different way to my children because I can give them back! Not having the responsibility for them makes it much easier.

Same here I absolutely adore my Grandchildren with every ounce of my body. We all live in a multi generational home - work from home and Home Educate and it just feels wonderful. I am so lucky to be able to be such a big part of my Grandchildrens lives but I guess as i don't have to take any ultimate responsibility for them and can take a break whenever I want it means I only get the good stuff I want.

My favourite part is waking up and feeling a small body that has crept into bed with me - there is no better feeling.

Aw, such lovely stories. I'm really glad I asked now! it seems as my own child grows older, his grandparents become even more crazy about him. The toddler stage is cute to be fair! I always feel a little sad when I think about his babyhood being over but there's so much to look forward to in the future

These replies...I think someone's been chopping onions on my house 😭😭

I got a bit of a lump in my throat reading these replys, feel quite sad that both sets of grandparents for my children show no interest.

I look forward to the day I become a nana

I was so busy making sure my 3DC were fed, clothed, got to school on time, did homework and generally nurtured (etc etc) that I'm not sure I actually enjoyed them.
When my first grandchild was born 14 years ago I was overwhelmed with love for her, three more DGC have followed. I love them all so much and it's so much easier as I'm not 100% responsible for their welfare.
I've looked after DGS3, now aged 10, daily since he was a baby and he stays here two or three nights a week. I wish my DC had had the lovely relationship with my mother that I have with my DGC but she was horrible. They missed out and do did she.
My youngest DD lives nearby and I'm sure I get on her nerves as much as she gets on mine, and I'm sure she is sometimes jealous of all the stuff I do with her son (she works full time) but we both make it work for his sake.

villainelle you’re right, there is so much to look forward to and i just seem to love DGDs more and more . Watching their personalities take shape, the things they love and things they don’t like. The new words and questions and the pleasure I get from finding books and stuff they will enjoy. Its extra fascinating second time round because I have more time,maturity,patience than I did with my own. The only thing I feel very sad (and very guilty) about is that I’m a much better grandma than I was mum. Which is why I want DD to know I’m always there for her and will help and support them all in any way I can because i had no support (and ex H was worse than hopeless) and was massively depressed for the first 2 years of DDs life. I never want DD to feel alone and unsupported.

I have 4 grandchildren and I love them with all my heart. I love to look after them and watch them grow.
There happy smiling faces make me so happy.

You took the words right out of my mouth Popsicle. All of them

Mum says it's as intense as her love for me but without the constant fear and overprotective feeling you get as a new parent (so just the good stuff!)

I'd love to be a grandma one day, I hope I get to (I'm an older mum)

I have 3 grandchildren and another is on the way next year. Two live in another country but I try to visit them every few months and we all enjoy these visits. I look after my grandson who lives nearby a couple of times a week and babysit in the evenings occasionally when asked.

It’s been really lovely as he’s very like my son and I feel like I’ve turned the clock back 30 odd years. I love his curiosity and I the see the world again with the wonder of a child through his eyes.

The love I feel for my grandchildren is just as strong as I feel for my own children and I miss them if they go on holiday for a week or two.

The downside is that I obviously get much more tired than I did with my own children, but I’m more than happy to do it for as long as I’m able to. I’m lucky as well that I’m doing a job that I can do from home and that I don’t have elderly parents to care for, sadly they both died when my own children were toddlers. Maybe because of this loss, which affected me deeply, I know appreciate my grandchildren more than ever.

My greatest gift to them is my time but I’m also more than happy to help out financially if I can on occasions. I’m currently downsizing in order to release equity so that my children can get a mortgage. Their rent is currently the same as a mortgage, the stumbling block the deposit. I want to help and make them happy now and not wait until I die. My own parents and in laws felt the same and helped my husband and I buy a house. Hopefully my grandchildren’s parents will do the same for them in the future. I don’t understand parents who don’t want to help their children/grandchildren, as long as I’m not taken for granted and appreciated that’s fine. Grandchildren really are a blessing in my life and I’m truly grateful that I’m trusted to look after them.

I am grandma to three and step gran to 6 more. All I can offer is that they really do fill a space you didn’t know was empty. I have been very hands on with childcare and babysitting from the start and I am so lucky that my dgc parents want that from me.
They are now aged between 9 and 21, three are at university and only one is still in primary school. It has been such a huge privilege to be involved in their growing up.
I love them all beyond words. They make old age worthwhile. I know I won’t live to see the youngest grown up but I hope I will be remembered fondly.

When you become a grandmother you find out how little you apparently knew about having a child when you were successfully raising your own! I get very upset at the thought that I inevitably won't see them in their adult lives, they have such ambitions now and I won't know if they achieve them.
So good to read positive grandparent posts here, such a change!

I was terrified I wouldn't love my GC as his father is a monster. ( and I don't mean that lightly) However he has been brought up solely by my DD and I love him more each day. I'll admit I didn't get the rush of love when he was born that I had with all my children but it grew. His birth was traumatic and he had many problems to overcome and I think I was just terrified that he wouldn't survive or be a replica of his father.
He stays with me often at weekends and holidays and I enjoy every second he's here. As he gets older I see little mannerisms that are so similar to DD at the same age, it's quite uncanny. I can honestly say now that I'd lay down my life for him, just as I would have done for my own children. But the love grew with him, it wasn't as all consuming from birth