To think this is my fault

[Thisonewilldo]

So my son has recently started P1 and he is struggling to make friends.

The problem seems to be that he talks 'at' the other kids about stuff he likes and doesn't seem to get that they might actually want to say something back! He actually said today that no one would play with him because 'they didn't want to listen to his stories' which broke my heart. The thing is he is just so keen to make friends he gets over enthusiastic.

I think its my fault because I never took him to toddler groups and beecause Im socially awkward so don't really have friends myself (DH is similar). Also I work but he didn't go to nursery until he got his free hours at 3 and was with my parents instead so didn't have much interaction with other kids.

Any suggestions for helping him make friends welcome!

Of course it's not your fault - by the sounds of it he would have interacted with other kids before at nursery. To be honest some people just naturally find making friends more difficult than others (just like some people find maths/sport/music more difficult than others). He'll get there but perhaps take a little longer than the others. If you're concerned you could discuss with his teacher ways of helping him settle in with the other kids (she could perhaps suggest a likely playmate for you to invite round or she could buddy him up with someone at play time).

You could also practice "taking it in turns" with conversation. I think that kind of child often finds things easier when there are set rules. So "you tell a quick story then let the other person tell a story." You could also have him practise asking questions and listening to the answer.

Just start practising with him! Tell him you were thinking about what he told you, and you realise that this is something you can help each other with.

Please don't beat yourself up about this - some children just need to learn social skills in the same way they need to learn how to ride a bike or write their name. There's an assumption that it's instinctive - it's often not.
What have the school said? They'll have plenty of experience with this sort of thing, and may have strategies or resources to help.

Thank you all, its hard to not blame yourself when your child struggles isn't it.

Its parents night next week so I will raise it with his teacher then and see if she can help, and will practice conversations starting in the morning!