Private school

[Edinburgh2012]

I have 3 children, aged 11, 8, 3 - the oldest two go to a wonderful private school. My intention is to continue and send the youngest to the same school also, however I have faced criticism from other parents of current 'classmates' (nursery) over this decision. I have never experienced this with the older two as I had different 'mum friends' who were making a similar decision.

Am I being unreasonable to think I can send my child wherever I like, and my decision to do so doesn't effect them or there children?

If you were my friend and I thought you were making a bad decision I would probably raise it with you. Nothing to do with envy. I do know 2 people who have sent their DC to private school and it was patently a bad choice for their DC (the actual schools involved, not the fact they are private). So yes, I'm going to raise it with them.

Well yes you are buying privilege but that is your right and you are in the fortunate position of being able to make a choice. The reality is that lots of people can’t make that choice and I suspect it makes them uncomfortable and there is some envy floating in there. You see it with every decision made about a child because people see a differentbchoice as a direct criticism of their choices even when it has nothing to do with them. When you see some of the conversations about co-sleeping, weaning, car seats getting heated I can only imagine school choice is even more polarising.

Criticising what exactly?

“I'm sending my youngest child to the same school both siblings already attend"

Their criticism on such an obvious thing to do was?...

I have to agree with Gunpowder in that their is a lot of outrage re private school is not shared with the many ways in which parents can (and do) finds ways to give their child an advantage. Which I do think is hypocritical.

Sure, private school is one way of attempting to "buy privilege" if that's how you want to look at it. However, we attempt to give our children all sorts of ways and few parents would do their level best to disadvantage their children, I'd have thought. I'm not convinced choosing to send your children to private school is any worse/ not really an different from buying a house in the catchment of an excellent state school? As lets face it, in all likelihood you'll pay more for a similar house in an area with a poor school (or in a deprived area)- so you are still using your ability to pay to secure a certain school or type of education? Or investing in a tutor if your child is struggling/school isn't very good? Isn't that unfair to children whose parent's can't buy that extra help in.

I think it would be more unreasonable to have the elder 2 at private then send the 3rd to state. Might make him feel bottom of the pile a bit.

I've heard the buying privilege argument before, however I'm of the opinion theres a lot that goes into what makes you privileged and if I'd want to buy anything for my kids it's undoubtedly a good education which I know they are receiving.

In response to referring to it as a wonderful school - it is and I don't refer to it like that all the time.

I honestly just find it interesting because if I criticised there choice of school that would be unreasonable of me yet its not unreasonable the other way round.