...To feel sad that DS hasn't told me he loves me, only his Dad?

[ShinyNewShoes]

• I am, actually BU, I know, just feeling sorry for myself. DS is 22 months, talking well now. He has started to say, "Luff you Daddy" and "Lovely Daddy" type things in cuddles with DH, not me. I absolutely understand why - DH is exciting, jolly, and 'Mummy' is the wallpaper, always there for nappies, teethcleaning etc etc. I work part-time but don't go away with work, whereas DH works fulltime and travels a lot, especially recently. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing DS say that to his Daddy - he is a fantastic dad to our DC - and it's not that I don't think DS loves me, I just feel a bit sad.

So, virtual chocolate, anyone?

I'll bet it's still you he comes running to when he hurts himself ...

It will come - it's just that Daddy is the novelty at the moment, because he's not always there.

He will!!If it makes you feel any better in my house it is daddy who is the star ,got the first words from both dc's.

Having said that when either of them are ill or have hurt themselves nothing quite beats Mummmy.

I have come to the conclusion that because I am a permanent fixture,there 24/7 I do not have the exciting novelty value of Daddy.

Daddy is also a LOT softer and lets them eat crisps and chocolate,and watch c-beebies on the pretext of entertaining them,whereas Mummy is the disciplinarian who tries to make them eat healthy food and run around outside

Thank you both, I know you're right, I think I just needed to hear it from someone else.
Not sure that it helps that DH feels 'really bad' about it, keeps apologising, and sent DS over to give me a cuddle earlier (which he did) and then as DS ran off DH said, "Oh dear, he was supposed to tell you he loves you, I've been coaching him for ages......"

I know he means well, but...

In a few months or so he will be telling you.

DS hangs of my neck after a bath and has his "Mummy cuddle" (is there a vomit emoticon ? )

Also goes "Night night,love you"

Unfortunately has also recently started with

"I don't like you very much Mummy,you're shouting"

and

"ITS NOT FAAIIIRRRR" when he has to do something he doesn't want to!!!!

Haven't even started on "Why?"

I hope the why stage ends soon!!!!

I do get, "Night night Mummy" - but it's in the middle of a list of settling down his toys so they sleep well.... Still cute though.
I'll get over it.
Thanks for your support!

It's probably because he spends more time with you and hears you saying things about daddy so he is mimicking you whom he hears the most. In my experience most children who spend more time with their mothers than their fathers say daddy sooner/more often. And then they go through the phase of calling you both daddy and then both mummy.
Don't worry it's not personal.

my dd is 3 and has only started showing affection to me in the last 3 months. i did get upset at first as shes all over her dd, now its fabulous, i just had to persevere with her and made sure i didnt hold back, its paid off.i also had an interview with a proffesor of something and she said children do make mums work harder.

my dd is 3 and has only started showing affection to me in the last 3 months. i did get upset at first as shes all over her dd, now its fabulous, i just had to persevere with her and made sure i didnt hold back, its paid off.i also had an interview with a proffesor of something and she said children do make mums work harder.

Oh Shiny, I know exactly what you mean. My DS adores his dad which is great because at the weekend he's very happy to go off with him and give me a break.

But I do feel a bit bereft at times when he's hurt, wakes up in the night or just a bit glum and only really wants his dad.

We've just stopped breastfeeding too and that's all he ever really wanted from me! Poor poor me! . He must love me a little bit surely... ... ...

I know what you mean about feeling sad. Maybe in two years time your DS will be more demonstrative towards you.

If it's any consolation, which i may not be by the time you've finished reading this, my son was equally loving towards me at that age. Not only did he not even say "mummy" until near enough 21 months, having gone from three words at 20 months (cat, lorry and daddy) to complete sentences a month later, but when he started actively chatting, his sentiments were less than loving. I fondly remember the times he said to me (aged less than 2.3) "Mummy, I want you to die so that Daddy can look after me", followed by such an obsession with knives that I had a friend ask a child psychologist for me because I was too chicken. Was seriously worried about my child being a psychopathic matricidal maniac...

Anyway, to cut a long story short, he is now nearly 14, is absolutely lovely, articulate, and loving (although not big on hugs or kisses) and he never did murder me.

Even when Benedict said those things to me, I knew he didn't mean them, and somehow managed not to take them personally. He just couldn't articulate what he really meant- that he really really did not want his little sister.

I think it may a phase some of them go through... He loves you though, have no doubt about that.

Duchesse that must have been really horrendous. So glad to hear that your DS has turned out fine!
I'm telling myself to stop wallowing and think instead of the loving cuddles (and endless pretend cups of tea, despite the fact that neither DH nor I drink it) and the fact that I have to kiss his teddy at bedtime - suggests that I am valued, I hope!
But thank you all again.

• DS's teddy, not DH's !!!

here shiny, have some of my thorntons, champagne truffle? Lemon sorbet? if only..

My DD isn't talking so great (different issue) but is sooooooo rejecting me in favour of DP. Most of the time i think its lovely, like when i say "who do you love the best" and she always replays "my dadda!" even when i prompt her with mummy mummy mummy! But then she also says that when i ask her who smells of poo!! But she only wants Daddy of a night, this upsets me, i can put her to bed but if she is upset, then it must be Daddy and you are right, ijust think it because DAddy is out at work most days so i get to do all the routine stuff. Mind you, she prefers him to change her bum, hmmmmm, maybe this isnt so bad!

Hmm, LucyEllensMum - there are definite positives to dwell on there (nappies! ) I think also there is an element of "I think they want me to say X, so I'll say Y a lot today...." I'm trying to toughen myself up a bit about it now. I do know that he loves me.....

And thank you for the chocolates!!!!!

Maybe he can tell how much you want him to?

DS seems to know when I really want him to say something and just won't do it.