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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is your family home chaotic? Big family + pets?

32 replies

Lavender081517 · 03/10/2018 09:49

If you have a big family and pets also does it feel chaotic and unorganized...or are you regimented with routines, organised and mostly clean and tidy?

Just wondering as people always say my home is chaotic etc but i truly don't think it is or perhaps I am just immune to it ?

I said to my mother last week about how do people cope with 6 kids and dogs cats rabbits in the garden etc and housework and she said she reckons they are either all completely army style regimented and organised right down to the last pencil and everyone chips in to help....
Or they are just permanently a hot mess and pure chaos.

IRL I do Not know anyone with more than 3 children or lots of pets so I have no idea?

OP posts:

MsOliphant · 03/10/2018 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hoppinggreen · 03/10/2018 09:53

We aren’t a big family (2 dc) but we have busy lives with various animals living here and often injured wildlife recovering in the garage - somehow I’ve got a reputation as the local crazy animal lady so anything injured ends up here and it either gets a few days R&R before being released or goes to a local wildlife rescue if more serious
We also run a business and I have an elderly unwell parent who needs help. The dc have plenty of activities and our house seems to go to place for DD’s friends after school
My house is reasonably clean most of the time and tidy enough that I’m happy for visitors to drop in.
It’s kind of organised chaos I think

IStandWithPosie · 03/10/2018 09:55

Who cares? If you’re happy with your home and family life it doesn’t matter if it’s chaotic.

KathDayKnight50 · 03/10/2018 09:57

Just me, husband, dog, cat, goldfish. Still seems chaotic to me at times though

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 03/10/2018 09:58

We have children, dogs, cats, rabbits and a business. I also teach, so there can be days where it feels chaotic, but the house is rarely in a state.

It helps me feel calm and organised if I wake up to a tidy house each day, so I spend ten-fifteen minutes each night sorting stuff out so it's not chaos in the morning. It makes a world of difference.

I also never leave stuff like laundry/ironing in baskets; it's washed, ironed and put away on the same day because otherwise my system would collapse entirely and anarchy would rule.

Original poster

Lavender081517 · 03/10/2018 10:03

oliphant that just made me laugh to myself if you could see me now I'm sat in my Pjs surrounded by toddlers and washing piles (sahm) never wrote an article in my life.

OP posts:

MsOliphant · 03/10/2018 11:52

Well I grew up in a horribly disorganised household...three kids, about 80 pets (guinea pigs mostly that my mum had ‘rescued’ )
And basically if our legs weren’t falling off we just had to get on with it. It was awful! I remember going foraging in the garden when we got hungry as my mum hadn’t done a shop. My grandparents were good at buying us school bits. Mostly we just took care of ourselves. My brother was much younger and a baby when I was ten and I definitely helped with a lot more of of his care than I should have done at that age.

My mum thought she was hilariously bohemian but the joke wore extremely thin, I can tell you, especially when my Dad left as he couldn’t hack it anymore!

Aprilislonggone · 03/10/2018 11:54

We have 6 dc, 4 ddogs, 2dcats and a snake.
Chaos.
Bloody love it tbh.

Amicompletelyinsane · 03/10/2018 11:57

I have three kids, dogs, cats, rabbits, gerbils etc. Everyone is well taken care of. Dogs walked daily. I work part time. The house isn't spotless but it doesn't smell like " dog". We just have a routine and all runs smoothly. To some it seems chaotic cause it's busy and not overly quiet. So I suppose it would seem like chaos coming from a quiet home. I wouldn't have it any other way😁

Littlechocola · 03/10/2018 12:00

3dc. 4 dogs. Both work long hours. The house is clean and tidy.
We are not regimented, not chaotic. We just get on with it.

I use the organised mum routine loosely around work. It’s a tiny bit of our day before or after work.
I use lists on my phone as a reminder to myself (because I would probably forget that I had children if I didn’t).
I’m currently laying in bed eating crumpets.

chillpizza · 03/10/2018 12:02

Be organised. We have three children, livestock, dogs, cat and birds. You need a plan and routine. Otherwise it all gets on top of you. My washer/dryer is never off my electric bill would make your eyes water.

Original poster

Lavender081517 · 03/10/2018 12:15

See i don't feel like our home is chaotic....
I Do it all alone as dp works long hours now.
Kids are in a fantastic routine and pets are taken care off. I keep it clean as much as I can but there's often piles of ironing and washing folded on a table or chair...
I think it may be the noise level when people come in and the cat is chasing the toddler around because she has a bit of ham...puppy yapping and playing and messing about with the kitten...baby making a racket etc
It feels like an assault on the senses I suppose for people who have a quiet calm home and grown up kids and one cat for example...
Toys are tidied away and dishwasher done every day. Floors are Hoovered and mopped literally between 2 and 6 times per day. I really don't think it's that bad...I don't stress if they what's to bake cookies and are making a mess or if.u hear the Lego box tip out for them to play...
But others keep saying they can't cope in my house and it's 'crazy' ??
Maybe they are just used to calm now.

OP posts:

flipflopping · 03/10/2018 12:17

Happy chaos with a million things going on at once is a wonderful thing- lots of chatter and laughter and dashing about. Doesn't matter a hoot if it doesn't suit some people- we all have different ways of living. Unhappy chaos- feeling out of control and desperate- is a different matter entirely. Only you know which you are.

Original poster

Lavender081517 · 03/10/2018 12:17

oliphant That's sounds horrible sorry to hear it was like that.
My mother was polar opposite....
Cleaned like.monica from friends...walked around screaming at anyone who sat on an already made bed or left toys or a tea cup out...pets was a big no no bar one goldfish I won at the fair as a kid.
It made me not want to be like that to my kids but I am still very aware of not going too far "the other way"

OP posts:

TeddybearBaby · 03/10/2018 12:21

5 of us in the house, 2 dogs and 2 rabbits. I feel like we live in organised chaos. I’m not a clean freak and don’t mind a bit or untidiness. My kids are really messy and I have to clear up after them constantly - they’re 9 and 11 so no excuse! It’s my fault, I let them get away with it but it makes my life harder for sure. I’d like to be tidier but I don’t lose sleep over it if everyone is happy and healthy x

TeddybearBaby · 03/10/2018 12:22

I keep it clean as much as I can but there's often piles of ironing and washing folded on a table or chair...

This is me!

LakieLady · 03/10/2018 12:29

There's only 2 of us and one dog, and we still live in muck & fuddle. But we're lazy. DP is much lazier than me, and rather than resent doing more, I have lowered my standards to match his.

Which is why I'm on here instead of clearing up the midden that is our bedroom.

Rebecca36 · 03/10/2018 12:33

I had small family and pets and home was total chaos! So you are not alone. I bet you have fun though.

MawkishTwaddle · 03/10/2018 12:46

Muck and Fuddle. I like that.

Chaos here too. DCs are grown up and one has left for uni. So I've basically replaced them with dogs. We have four now, plus a cat.

I think your household sounds lovely, OP. I particularly like the toddler/dog/ham scenario

Severide08 · 03/10/2018 13:04

I have a small menagerie OP including our very elderly dog. I will admit to having ironing on the chair ,glad I am not the only one lol .Our house is never quiet unless the DC's are asleep .I will hoover and mop every day but I have dogs and like to use Zoflora brillant for keeping doggy smells at bay .I am not a clean freak but I do like to keep tidy .Ours is a happy house and that is the main thing. Littlechocola I have 4 dogs too do you get gosh that is a lot of dogs when you tell people. I do have a big house so it not a problem .OP as long as you have a happy home and who cares if it is not a showhome ,if your DC's were living in squalor then that whole different thing. Bit honestly i would ignore the comments. Each family is different.

Stompythedinosaur · 03/10/2018 13:27

We only have 2 dc, but have a lot of pets (1 dog, 3 cats, 2 guinea pigs, 2 rats, 4 ducks and a bee hive). We have to be quite organised, but I think we might seem disorganised from the outside.

IdentifyasTired · 03/10/2018 13:40

4 children and a dog here. Occasional chaos (when they all have a tummy bug and I'm running between bedrooms with buckets and towels, or toddler and baby are both screaming and dog is barking because a delivery van has pulled up) but consistent day to day chaos? No. Don't like it. Can't cope with it. Never been late for school, everyone has correct kit for clubs/activities, homework done, bills paid on time etc etc. I'm neither regimented nor lax. Hopefully there's a happy middle ground!

Lydiaatthebarre · 03/10/2018 14:33

Not you OP, because you seem to be fighting against the description and your house actually sounds normally tidy -

but I find when people describe their homes as 'noisy and chaotic and full of pets and children' they're usually trying to excuse uncomfortably, cold and messy houses that stink of cats and dogs, with no proper mealtimes for their children and just a general air of neglect hanging over the place. I think in their own heads they want to see it as artistically cluttered and picturesque.

sprinkleofsunshine · 03/10/2018 14:57

I actually feel the opposite. At the moment it's just me and dh, no pets. I feel our house is far too quiet and I can't wait to fill it with children and just generally more noise.
I'm 7 weeks pregnant so hopefully it won't be too long until that's the case, although I'm sure when that day comes I will be missing the peace we have now!

krustykittens · 03/10/2018 14:59

We only have two DC but a huge menagerie of pets. The menagerie has grown as the children got older and they help out with their care. I work from home which makes it easy to stay on top of pets, housework etc as I don't have a commute, can be flexible with my time etc. My house is clean and tidy and the animals are well looked after. It is busy and things have to be done at certain times but we are not chaotic. I find things tend to get done in one blast. So I won't garden beyond watering every week (and the garden is very low maintenance). When I cook meals like chilli or curry, I make enough for two dinners so the freezer is always well stocked from when we are too tired to cook or get ill. There is a lot of work to do on the land during the summer but we don't do maintenance during the winter. Our pet sheep pretty much look after themselves and are happy with a scratch behind the ears and a treat. The ponies get time off during the worst of the winter and that is when DIY on the house gets done. As long as the cat has a bowl of food she is happy, the dogs and the chinchillas are the biggest demands on our time day to day. We are all very good about tidying up as we go along so cleaning can be done quickly. Yes, washing will build up and I don't iron and I can imagine some people find it all too busy and stressful inside and out, with so much needing to be done but we love it and couldn't imagine living any other way. Living on a smallholding, the work inside and out goes in cycles. Once you find that rhythm, you are fine! I once had a friend comment our old house, in the city, was chaotic because the kids were laughing and squealing while playing with their puppy and their hamster was crashing around the room at the same time in its hamster ball!

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