To really dislike my 15yr old at the moment

[WhoopiGoldbergsCat]

He's just an absolute arse. Can't have a normal conversation with him, he's sarcastic, moody, lazy, rude, argumentative.
He's good at school though and polite to other people, but by god he's like a different person with my husband and I.
He used to be such a sweet kid, and has no issues with friends or bullying etc. But for the past year or so he's really not very nice and doesn't have any redeeming qualities at all.
Please, please tell me stories of hope, did your rude teen grow out of it? How long did go on for? Apart from drinking shed loads of gin, how can I cope?

My 15 year old is lovely most of the time but when he isn't he's really obnoxious. At such times I keep communication to a minimum all the while reminding myself that I don't have to be talking to him or being with him to still love him very much. I do struggle with the "oh for GODS sake I was just joking/having a laugh!" when he was actually being really unpleasant and the Neanderthal lengthy groans and the grunty "oh not this again!" whenever I try to tackle an issue with him. Rightly or wrongly I threaten to withdraw nice things and lifts etc if he goes too far, a crisp "fine, get yourself to judo/cinema/friends then!" often works wonders and I mean it when I say it and he knows this. I do switch off the WiFi too and find that just the threat of it is a very effective tool.

Hang on in there, it does pass.

Obviously don’t accept outright rudeness but try to ignore the moodiness. I did find walking together or ( more likely) me driving him somewhere was a good time to chat.

Gin and wine plus chocolate swiftly awarded to you in the meantime.

We do have consequences for really rude behaviour such a taking his phone or xbox away, when we do this he has a proper tantrum shouting etc, we just leave him to it then as we find if we punish him more for his outburst, things escalate and he gets worse.
We're trying to pick our battles but is so bloody draining! I've read a few threads on here lately about teens going off to uni and the poster being upset, I'll be bloody cheering him on at the door I think!