Is employer being unreasonable, holding meeting on my day off? Childcare issues

Could you suggest a teleconference/webex as a compromise?

Agree that while frustrating for you, it must also be frustrating for your co-worked AND your employer who is trying to do something positive/find out how the current situation is working for you.

*worker not worked

Conference call?

Otherwise agree to go in on the Wednesday/Thurs this time, on the basis that next year (or whenever there's another similar situation) it happens on "your" day.

Friday was a fair suggestion from your employer, impacting neither one of you over the other.

You are being unreasonable to expect to have the timing catered to you over and above your colleague. Having a baby doesn't make your time and needs any more important than hers.

Flexible working requires you to show some flexibility in return.

This is the issue when the job shares do not have a day/time when they're both in together to hand over. In one way the employer IBU in asking either of you to attend the office on a non work day, but at the same time they're trying to find something that works for all parties. Could you and your colleague have individual meetings with your employer to give feedback, and then you find a mutually convenient time for everyone to jump on a Skype call for an hour on a Friday to discuss? If your employer is going to insist on everyone attending a face to face meeting, then someone somewhere has to compromise - maybe the Friday - and I would agree with others who suggest maybe the baby daddy takes some time off to look after the baby.

She can't hold it at a time when both of you are meant to be working as there simply isn't one so if the meeting needs to include both of you at least one of you will have to go in on a day you're not meant to be working.

It does just come down to this, unfortunately. I used to work in a jobshare and it has a lot of upsides, but this is one of the downs.

I will admit that neither I nor my jobshare partner had children, so I'm not coming at it from the same perspective, but it is something you just have to deal with.

Does your boss have form for expecting you, not your partner, to compromise? If not then I'd probably just find a way to deal with it. If so then you'd be reasonable to feel aggrieved, and you may be justified in pointing out to them that you also had to come in on one of your non-work days last time. In my case we all (boss, me and partner) used to be mindful of whose 'turn' it was to be inconvenienced.

"Is employer being unreasonable?"

No employer is unreasonable to want to speak to their employees. It would probably be better if you and job share could arrange something that works for you both and then take that to the boss.

Its faffing and resistance like this that makes employers reluctant to accept job shares. It should not be hard to meet your own employees.

When I worked part time things such as this really annoyed me. My days off were very structured - dance classes and swimming lessons all paid for a term in advance and no child care arranged for those days because I didn't need it. Nursery couldn't just have my 2 DC at the drop of a hat and as we live away from family there was no one else. I'd suggest conference call when the baby is sleeping, unless as others have said, DH can take a day off.

This thread is just another reason why working as a parent feels absolutely impossible.

I'm a single parent with no family support. Childcare isn't as flexible as "just book another day of childcare". I'm not sure why others think it is?! As for finding childcare, have you ever tried finding last minute childcare for a kid with additional (behavioural) needs? Next to impossible.

My employer does not own me. They do not own my time when not at work. I have a contract, and that is for set days at set times. And it's for very good reason.

OP, just say "that won't work for me". You've given alternative options which is more than I'd have been able to do!

Employers need to recognise that "find childcare" simply isn't acceptable to tell their employees when it comes to their non contracted work time.

Oh good, glad it isn't just me Tired.

What about a conference call? You could dial in from home with the baby.

Sadly, a good job share is very hard won OP. Be careful. I would very much think that it's in your and your job sharing partners interests to just sort something out as a one off and keep the employer sweet. Don't get huffy about it fgs.....think of the bigger picture.

Of arrange for the meeting to be early on your non working day? Like 8am?

So your DH can just go in late that morning if that is acceptable to his employer. He could even be waiting outside your office with the baby so he barely has to be late at all.

I'm sure you can make arrangements, you just don't want to. It's not unreasonable for your employer to want to meet you both. This kind of nonsense is what puts employers off job shares.

What solution do you suggest?

Why can’t the colleague phone in on a conference call on a day when OP is at work? Why can’t the colleague book a half day annual leave from her job rather that ops husband? Why is the onus on her to be the one to find a compromise rather than her colleague?

Friday the fair day. Can dh get a morning off to watch baby. You both sound very inflexible

"Is employer being unreasonable?"

No. You and your colleague are being inflexible. If the job-share can not meet the needs of the company, even at such a basic level as you both attending whole-team meetings, then it's not working, is it?

If it's not working, then where does that leave your job-shared post?

If I were you, I would offer to go in at a time most convenient to your employer, with the understanding that your job-share colleague made that sacrifice on the next occasion the whole-team met.

It sounds like your employer is being flexible for you generally, so in your shoes I’d just go to the meeting for the sake of goodwill.

I agree with Deafly and George.
In my industry part time work is really hard to come by for this very reason (so much so that I had to be a sahm for some years as there was literally nothing)- and tbh I blame the attitude of the employees.
We are shooting ourselves in the foot and then blaming employers.

George This kind of nonsense is what puts off parents (especially mothers) from working.

I think people expect you just to abandon your children to suit an employer. Childcare isn't that simple!

Your compromises are

1. coming in on your day off and

I work pt and the reason it works is that I am flexible to fit in with other employees who don't have the advantage of working pt.

This meeting could be crucial to working out how you both progress and possibly make your lives easier.

The likelihood is that it won't be all day, therefore if you can find a relative, friend, partner who can look after your baby for the short period of time (partner takes day off and comes with you to the city where you then have the rest of the day together?).

If you value your role, it will be great when you have more flexibility during term time when your dc is at school. If I were you and I valued my role/ enjoyed my role then I would be as flexible as possible. It is a one off and you will be seen as valuable to your employer if you can do your best to accommodate them. If your job share is being difficult then who is the employer likely to hold onto in a situation where one has to go?

I have worked three days a week for eighteen years. Occasionally you have to put yourself out.

I occasionally have this issue with work. My husband takes off from his work and covers child care. Once when our daughter was very young and they were letting me work a ridiculously flexible schedule that let me be available to nurse on demand, I had to spend a day in the office. My husband took the entire day off and sat in my office taking care of the baby and I popped in to nurse between meetings.

These days were horribly inconvenient for us, but my employer was generally so accommodating that it would have been ridiculous for me to not find a solution.

Now that she is older, it really only becomes an issue when I have a rare bit of travel. We cobble together coverage and that often means my husband using his leave. I don’t feel guilty about this. My daily flexibility allows him to work the job he does. Sometimes he has to sacrifice some leave in exchange.